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Aargh!! Ex has contacted me after one day of NC! What do I do!!!

Riss87

By Riss87
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Riss87 New Member

Riss87

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Basically I was in this on/off relationship with this guy for over a year. Couldnt take it anymore. He kept saying he didnt want a gf so he couldnt be with me. It was taking an emotional toll on me. Told him he had to leave me alone and not contact me. Told him he was only to contact me if he wanted to be with me. He promised me he would leave me alone and now its been just over 24hrs and he is txted me saying he knows he shouldnt be txting me but he wants a cuddle!!! Omg what do I do :/

favoritepills Established Member

favoritepills

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Ignore him. It's really disrespectful of him to disregard your boundaries just because he wants a cuddle.

Zahara Established Member

Zahara

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Basically I was in this on/off relationship with this guy for over a year. Couldnt take it anymore. He kept saying he didnt want a gf so he couldnt be with me. It was taking an emotional toll on me. Told him he had to leave me alone and not contact me. Told him he was only to contact me if he wanted to be with me. He promised me he would leave me alone and now its been just over 24hrs and he is txted me saying he knows he shouldnt be txting me but he wants a cuddle!!! Omg what do I do :/

 

Selfish man. He doesn't want a gf but he wants to cuddle? He can get a cat.

 

If he can't give you what you want, then you can't give him what he wants because you both want different things and that WILL NOT change.

 

Him asking to cuddle is not because he wants to be with you but because he wants the benefits of an R without having to be in one. And if you can give him the perks without the commitment, then he is having his cake and eating it too.

 

You can go and cuddle but that means:

1) you don't respect and believe your own boundaries so why should he

2) you'll settle for anything just to get a little something

3) after you have your cuddle/sex session, you go back home feeling like crap because it's over and you're back to being "not" the girlfriend.

 

Ignore him. He knows you are emotional. He will play with your emotions to get what he wants.

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gibson Established Member

gibson

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I think you will identify with the singer and the person they are singing about in the following song:

 

 

You should read "A Break Up... Is the Answer To A Question" in my signature below.

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Riss87 New Member

Riss87

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I have managed to refrain from contacting him so far. Its very hard though

sweetheart5381 Established Member

sweetheart5381

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I have managed to refrain from contacting him so far. Its very hard though

 

Stick to your guns... you told him how you feel and are commended for doing so :D. Good job! Setting out hard and clear boundaries is difficult when you love someone deeply and you did it! That's the tough part.

 

If he comes to you with sincerity and a serious change of heart then perhaps you could be together, but for right now, he is just missing you physically. Stay NC and see what happens. You will get an answer with NC, one way or the other.

 

Put it this way - he assumes that you will answer the message and therefore seeks your immediate attention. It has likely worked in the past for him I'm sure.

 

Show him that you respect yourself enough to not only express your boundaries but that you will enforce your boundaries too.

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Riss87 New Member

Riss87

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So now we are coming in to day four of no contact from me which is the longest we have ever gone without talking. We used to at least txt EVERY day. Seeing as he hasnt attempted to contact me again, does that mean he doesnt care!? I know realistically that he is probably just finally respecting my wishes, but I miss him so much and it hurts to think he may not even care about all of this!

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Riss87 New Member

Riss87

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Aaargh I just want to txt him so so bad!!!!

geegirl Established Member

geegirl

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Aaargh I just want to txt him so so bad!!!!

 

Sure, go ahead and text. If you want to go back to on and off woman he sees and I wouldn't even classify as a relationship as he doesn't want you as a girlfriend, text and go back to that same situation. After you text, you cuddle, you go home tail tucked and head down feeling worse than you did when you wrote this. And you teach him your wants have no meaning and that you'll settle for whatever he can give you. You should text him.

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