Happyface Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 Has anyone met up with xMM after a long period of NC? I did a while ago after almost 18 monthsNC. It wasn't emotional at the time and there is peace between us. We don't have any contact at all now. I did find that in the weeks following, it brought back memories of a lot of negative events and emotions. What has your experience been? Do you regard your meeting as a set back and in what way? Did anybody fall back into their xMM or MW's arms and start all over again? Thanks Happy Face
MissBee Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 Your experience was more or less the same for me. We had a year of complete NC...I had moved on more or less, had a new boyfriend and everything. He emailed me on my birthday, wasn't expecting it, said he tried to call at midnight but my number had changed (??? why would he think it ok to call me at midnight on my birthday after a year of not a word? ). He tried to apologize for how things ended. I wasn't interested. Somehow we had sporadic contact where he'd email me some random thing every few months. But it didn't set me back. Late last year he went full force trying to restart the A. I entertained him initially, foolishly, because I was curious and I also wrongly assumed he had learned and was only talking to me now because his relationship had ended (he wasn't married, LTR). I thought we could be friends, but we can't. He inevitably would make everything flirtatious and would start acting as though we were still involved. I asked about his relationship status and he nonchalantly explained he was in a relationship. That made me realize that he simply has no regard for fidelity or me and being friends was a waste of time. I promptly cut him off in January. Haven't spoken since and it did not affect my life at all...as my head was firmly in place and I had gotten over him and was able to see things a lot clearer.
Author Happyface Posted May 27, 2012 Author Posted May 27, 2012 XMM did the same. He started to text, send love letters and asked how I saw my future with him. He even told me he was trying to make things better in all ways for his wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a jerk. That's when I realised he had no remorse at all and expected to be taking all the liberties I had allowed him before. It did bring back bad memories for a while but in the end, it stripped away some of the illusions I had still been holding in my memory. All in all, it really set me free. Happy Face.
MissBee Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 (edited) XMM did the same. He started to text, send love letters and asked how I saw my future with him. He even told me he was trying to make things better in all ways for his wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a jerk. That's when I realised he had no remorse at all and expected to be taking all the liberties I had allowed him before. It did bring back bad memories for a while but in the end, it stripped away some of the illusions I had still been holding in my memory. All in all, it really set me free. Happy Face. That's exactly what happened for me. Although I was over him, in my memory, I felt like he was a great guy who got caught up and he had remorse and learned his lesson and it was a case of the right person, just the wrong time. He was romanticized in my mind. Him returning stripped away that illusion and made me realize I would never want to be with him and it made me see our entire involvement differently. I promptly threw away the rose tinted spectacles of nostalgia I had before. Edited May 27, 2012 by MissBee 1
whichwayisup Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 Some people need to never hear or see their ex's (MM, or just regular relationships) ever again. Not always because it could stir up old feelings and emotions but because they truly want to move on and do not want to be in touch with that person anymore as they serve no purpose in their present life. Glad that you see things for what they are and that he didn't have any affect on you. 1
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