Million.to.1 Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 I think most people do know what they want. I do. I want a tall handsome stylish social man whose funny, smart and mega rich. He will think I am the the most awesome, beautiful and fun woman he has ever met and will think all of my crazy habbits and flaws are endearing. We will have a large family and live happily ever after. But everyone knows this is Knowing what you are prepared to compromise on though... that can be hard. No one is perfect. You can't have everything.. so what are the things you are prepared to compromise on? Knowing that is HARD. 1
johan Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 For all the whining and moaning that men are so difficult, ya never quite see the gals giving the socially awkward shy guys a fighting chance. You make it sound like they should go for guys they aren't attracted to just on principle. That's dumb. No one does that. I don't give women I don't find attractive a "fighting chance". They are on their own. But plenty of shy, socially awkward guys get with women. You just assume because a guy is with a girl he must not be either of those things. That's your own feelings of inferiority telling you that. Getting together with a woman just requires the courage it takes to try and the humility it takes to withstand rejection. You don't have to be Mr. Smooth. I don't see women "whining and moaning" one tenth as much as I do men on here. Your post is an example of the whining and moaning that prevails. If you happen to be shy and socially awkward, that's a shame. Not a death sentence. But if you put feelings of entitlement and bitter resentment on top of it, that's a great recipe for getting nowhere with any woman no matter what. I'll never give someone pity who demands it. I'll never support a man in his aspiration to be known as a scared, helpless weakling.
wordrock Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 This is true! Most men can tell a story about how they weren't looking for anything serious and then fell in love. And most men can tell a story about how they were looking for love, but discovered they had a lot of fun being single. I'm not speaking for all men but I'm sure I'm pretty damn close. Admit it dudes, you are some pretty strange beings. It might seem that way. The saying goes: "Men look for sex and find love. Women look for love and find sex." I'll tell you want men want. They want satisfaction. The problem? Most don't know what will satisfy them. They want, all the same.
Gulf-Delta Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 Bull****. Since I was 15, I've wanted one thing from women, and that was a women who was mature and stable enough to start a family with. In my late teens, I thought with my "other" head for a while, but got REALLY fed up with the shallow, vapid bitchiness of the girls I would meet.
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 There are no generalizations in life but most men want beauty. They will tolerate a lot for someone they find incredibly physically attractive.
d'Arthez Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 There are no generalizations in life but most men want beauty. All men want beauty. But beauty is in the eye of the beholder, or rather the mind of the beholder. Some prefer physical attributes, others for emotional attributes, and still others go for a combination of physical and emotional attributes. The laws of the mind are varied and seemingly contradictory. Inherently, all beings strife towards their happiness. But that is not to say, that people cannot prefer misery over health.
wordrock Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 There are no generalizations in life but most men want beauty. They will tolerate a lot for someone they find incredibly physically attractive. Such men usually have the emotional capacity of children and have preconceived notions of what traits a beautiful woman should have. Ie, pop out babies and obey his every command. Aka fantasy land.
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 All men want beauty. But beauty is in the eye of the beholder' date=' or rather the [b']mind[/b] of the beholder. Some prefer physical attributes, others for emotional attributes, and still others go for a combination of physical and emotional attributes. The laws of the mind are varied and seemingly contradictory. Inherently, all beings strife towards their happiness. But that is not to say, that people cannot prefer misery over health. I meant physical beauty. Most men put enormous ephasis on that. I have nothing against it, just something to accept like the sky is blue.
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 Such men usually have the emotional capacity of children and have preconceived notions of what traits a beautiful woman should have. Ie, pop out babies and obey his every command. Aka fantasy land. It's more complicated than calling them shallow. They are capable of feeling strong emotions and great attachment to the woman they find physically gorgeous.
d'Arthez Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 I meant physical beauty. Most men put enormous ephasis on that. Insofar they do, I wish women would realize they are competing with something unreal, something they can never master. It is mostly a socially imposed ideal. (Physical) Beauty is subjugation.
wordrock Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 It's more complicated than calling them shallow. They are capable of feeling strong emotions and great attachment to the woman they find physically gorgeous. I'd argue that such men are more in love with the euphoric state being in the presence of such a woman brings to them, than the woman herself. Honestly, I think that's a portion of why so many women do not care for 'nice guys' and pass over them. It seems like a inauthentic infatuation response.
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 Insofar they do, I wish women would realize they are competing with something unreal, something they can never master. It is mostly a socially imposed ideal. (Physical) Beauty is subjugation. You are not getting what I mean. I am not complaining or being bitter about men. I even said most (not all). I am not talking about Hollywood ideals. Just that beauty is a huge advantage in every aspect of life and dating in particular. It has been scientifically proven. Personally, I think women are at great advantage being aware of this.
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 I actually think that it's a lot simpler knowing what men want than what women want.
d'Arthez Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 It can also work against them. I have known quite a few beautiful women (by so called "objective standards") who struggled to be taken seriously because of their beauty. The quality of men they attract is not always great either. Sure, they may attract more men, but are these "extra" men always the ones with better long term potential? I am not too sure. It is not about attracting thousands of men at any given point in time. It is about attracting someone who is right for you. Being a "plain Jane" may help weed out the ones who are not really interested in her, but rather the package. 1
Radu Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 I actually think that it's a lot simpler knowing what men want than what women want. I thought that by talking to women i would find out what women want. Boy, was I wrong ...
musemaj11 Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 Men will stop caring about a woman's beauty the day women stop caring about a man's money. Lets face it, neither is ever going to happen.
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 I don't really beleive that beautiful women attract lower quality men. Proportionally perhaps but not number-wise. Dating is one of the aspects of life where total number is of more value than a proportion.
d'Arthez Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 Proportionally perhaps but not number-wise. Dating is one of the aspects of life where total number is of more value than a proportion. That is only true if the woman in question knows what she wants, and knows how to identify the men that are not right for her. How many people have that skill from the first moment they put themselves out there? People sometimes get punished and punish themselves for their experiences. Beautiful women are just as likely to do that.
Joaquin Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 Men know what they want, they just often aren't able to get the girl they truly want. Trust me, if you think your guy doesn't know what he wants, it just means you aren't what he wants. And the same goes for girls. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 That is only true if the woman in question knows what she wants, and knows how to identify the men that are not right for her. How many people have that skill from the first moment they put themselves out there? People sometimes get punished and punish themselves for their experiences. Beautiful women are just as likely to do that. It's like getting a couple of aces in your first hand and not knowing how to play poker. It won't work for everyone, but it's a huge advantage nonetheless.
d'Arthez Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 It's like getting a couple of aces in your first hand and not knowing how to play poker. It won't work for everyone, but it's a huge advantage nonetheless. You can still lose everything. And because you think you have a very strong hand, you are more likely to go all in. If you get K 9, you will be more measured in your approach, and are less likely to lose it all.
LittlePrince Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 This is true! Most men can tell a story about how they weren't looking for anything serious and then fell in love. And most men can tell a story about how they were looking for love, but discovered they had a lot of fun being single. I'm not speaking for all men but I'm sure I'm pretty damn close. Admit it dudes, you are some pretty strange beings. Men know exactly what they want. Women don't want to know what men really want. Women prefer games and conflict. Women don't want to know who a man is. Women would rather know the game and guess at who he is even when it is staring her right in the face. Men learn this and use this knowledge to get what they want. Women get upset that they are given what they want and blame it all on men. Men get upset for being solely responsible when they weren't and that you can't get what you want with games, conflict, and peculiar stratagems based on the opposite sex's insanity. Men learn women are incapable of giving them what they want. They learn to settle for what they can get and become emotionally distant in the process. Women never learn to settle. They stay unreasonable, capricious, and continue to feel justified in wanting the wrong things. 1
threebyfate Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 This is true! Most men can tell a story about how they weren't looking for anything serious and then fell in love. And most men can tell a story about how they were looking for love, but discovered they had a lot of fun being single. I'm not speaking for all men but I'm sure I'm pretty damn close. Admit it dudes, you are some pretty strange beings.Sure. I dated a man who on the first date, told me he wasn't looking for a relationship which was fine with me since neither was I. Guess who pressured me for a relationship pretty quickly where I finally caved into a short-term one? Guess who pressured me for a long-term relationship but I refused? It's ridiculous for anyone to believe that men know exactly what they want at all times!
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 You can still lose everything. And because you think you have a very strong hand, you are more likely to go all in. If you get K 9, you will be more measured in your approach, and are less likely to lose it all. I disagree. With aces, probability is on your side, even with going all in.
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 Sure. I dated a man who on the first date, told me he wasn't looking for a relationship which was fine with me since neither was I. Guess who pressured me for a relationship pretty quickly where I finally caved into a short-term one? Guess who pressured me for a long-term relationship but I refused? It's ridiculous for anyone to believe that men know exactly what they want at all times! My best friend is marrying a man like that! It worked out because she never suffered, she was genuinly non-comittal at the start.
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