Titania22 Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 Hey Guys, I have come to the conclusion that the guys I tend to start being interested in (aside from being young), are guys who I have an immediate good report with, i.e. I am friendly and they are friendly, so immediately we seem to be able to get on well and possibly become friends. My pattern I have noticed is after I meet someone like this, I automatically start asking myself if they are interested and what could I do to get their interest. I also think the very nature of them being friendly, but not interested (but also not forthcoming about their non interest), works on my psyche. So I am thinking around such people, I need to get out of this pattern, and find a way to just be friendly, instead of getting all those romantic thoughts. Especially because, as you all know, these guys tend to be much younger than me, in a different part of life, and are probably not only not interested, but might even think it was creepy that I was. I think this could be the case where assuming a guy isn't interested until he make his interest known might just be the best course of action. Have any of you noticed a similar pattern within yourselves? (i.e. desiring people that are nice and friendly and have a good report with you.)
Balzac Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 Are you speaking of rapport? I think so. How much younger?
Author Titania22 Posted May 27, 2012 Author Posted May 27, 2012 Are you speaking of rapport? I think so. How much younger? Yes I meant rapport. The younger itself isn't what matters, more the pattern of wanting something more with people I have an instant connection with. I mostly mix with younger people, so obviously I would meet younger people I connect with more often then older people. The regulars on here know I have a weakness for 20something guys, but that's beside the point.
Leigh 87 Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 20 something guys? - no wonder you enjoyed talking to that waiter so much when we last got together:P I just think it feels really great to speak to people who are nice! It feels good being nice, and feels good having the person BE nice. In regards to your concerns - I think it is easy for some people to feel falsely hopefull, in a comantic sense, through building good rapport with someone. After all - we do not get along great and find really nice people to talk to every day! I think you should try to put it down to them just being nice! Take it as a comliment - they must think your really nice and enjoy talking with you! That does not mean they are interested, you know this, so doesn't it make sense to stop assuming people are interested just because they are really nice? It might not be easy to practice shutting down your tendency to link niceness with the guy being interested in you - but you know in your head that you WANT to stop this pattern.
Author Titania22 Posted May 27, 2012 Author Posted May 27, 2012 Exactly I think it's a pattern I need to break. But I was also wondering if anyone else has noticed that they do that too? 20 something guys? - no wonder you enjoyed talking to that waiter so much when we last got together:P As for the waiter, I am just friendly like that all the time, with anybody. I wasn't actually interested in him. But as an example, say we started seeing each other more often and talking like that, and learning and showing interest in each others lives. Then the dictates of this pattern would be, that I would start to wonder if he was interested in me romantically.
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