zero123 Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 He dumped me 3 weeks ago and I have broken no contact twice. The last time I spoke to him on the phone was exactly a week ago and I have not talked to him ever since. I feel much better now, better sleep and got my appetite back. I can listen to break up songs without being too emotional. I feel stronger. Last night, went to a bar with a friend to have some fun and to dance a bit. While I was standing outside of the bar, chatting with a new friend that I just met, there he was, walking by. (it was a street full of bars/pubs/clubs and very crowded on a Saturday night) he was with a guy friend whom I am also acquainted with. While he was walking, he looked up and saw me. He looked at me for 2 seconds more and then he continued to walk off. During this time, I was still chatting with my friend and I pretended I wasn't looking at him and we had no eye contact That really hurt. I would've thought he would at least acknowledge my presence, trying to say hi or something. But no, he just walked off. It really hurts. Even though we work at the same place, I never bumped into him at the office and this is the first time I saw him. It almost felt like I mean nothing to him. We spent 5 months together but to him, it was nothing. I, whom he claimed to care so much about, am nothing but a stranger to him. I feel like I dunno him at all, I know nothing about him, all those time I spent with him means nothing. How could someone who made me fall head over heels for turned out to be so heartless.
Leigh 87 Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 I am sure he cared for you at he time! Most guys have to care about and like the girl they are with, otherwise they would not spend months with them. However, some guys really are heartless jerks! They can have a girl, make her feel that she is special, when they are either cheating, or not into the girl. They just like them enough to spend time with them, until a batter girl comes along. There are reasons why he could have ignored you: - he is also hurting over the break up, cared a lot about u and liked you, and he wants to get over you; talking to u might have made it harder to forget about you. - On ONE end of the spectrum; he could be so hurt he could not handle talking to you: or, at the other end of the spectrum, he could really not care that much about you, not even enough to see how your going. You need to move on regardless of how he feels. No one online can assess what your relationship was like, and how he felt about you, because we have no idea how he acted or treated you like. We do not even know why you broke up or who broke it off. For all we know, he could be either way; totally devastated over you, or not caring at all. Most likely, it is something in between. Regardless of how HE feels, you know you need to keep going out with friends, well done for doing that:) Try to work out more, get fit, and get more confident, and before you know it, you will be over him. Hey - it happens to a lot of us! You know, we see our exes. they do not say hi./.... don't feel too bad, a lot of exes are cold and do not want to say hi to us. Happens to us all at one point, just remember: you will find a guy one day who is right for you, most likely.
Author zero123 Posted May 27, 2012 Author Posted May 27, 2012 I am sure he cared for you at he time! Most guys have to care about and like the girl they are with, otherwise they would not spend months with them. However, some guys really are heartless jerks! They can have a girl, make her feel that she is special, when they are either cheating, or not into the girl. They just like them enough to spend time with them, until a batter girl comes along. There are reasons why he could have ignored you: - he is also hurting over the break up, cared a lot about u and liked you, and he wants to get over you; talking to u might have made it harder to forget about you. - On ONE end of the spectrum; he could be so hurt he could not handle talking to you: or, at the other end of the spectrum, he could really not care that much about you, not even enough to see how your going. You need to move on regardless of how he feels. No one online can assess what your relationship was like, and how he felt about you, because we have no idea how he acted or treated you like. We do not even know why you broke up or who broke it off. For all we know, he could be either way; totally devastated over you, or not caring at all. Most likely, it is something in between. Regardless of how HE feels, you know you need to keep going out with friends, well done for doing that:) Try to work out more, get fit, and get more confident, and before you know it, you will be over him. Hey - it happens to a lot of us! You know, we see our exes. they do not say hi./.... don't feel too bad, a lot of exes are cold and do not want to say hi to us. Happens to us all at one point, just remember: you will find a guy one day who is right for you, most likely. I was chatting with a new girlie friend. He ended the relationship. He said he had been unhappy because of the fights that we had (which i thought were not a big deal because couples do fight from time to time) and he cheated on me by kissing the same girl 3 times in 3 different occasions. I tried holding on but the more I tried to hold on, the more pain it brought to both me and him because I just could not trust him anymore. He never once contacted me after we broke up but when I called him up (breaking no contact), he would be very nice to me and asked me how i was doing. And I know it was an act for a player like him to pull, just to keep me as a friend, a second choice. Thanks Leigh. I know that to keep thinking and analyzing why he ignored me won't help my situation at all. But I just can't help but feel very hurtful by it. I am still very much in love with him and while I'm still mourning over our break up, trying so hard to move on, he seems to be perfectly fine! It is as if I never existed in his life (either that, or I don't mean anything to him). I have never felt this vulnerable before and I gave all my love to this guy which I did before (not my previous ex). I have never felt so crushed.
Balzac Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 Thanks~girl means he wasn't deferring to a new interest. Sorry for your pain.
Author zero123 Posted May 27, 2012 Author Posted May 27, 2012 Thanks~girl means he wasn't deferring to a new interest. Sorry for your pain. Yeah exactly. That's why it's so hurtful when he just turned away and left.
Author zero123 Posted May 27, 2012 Author Posted May 27, 2012 Bromance pride in front of his buddy? Maybe. Who knows. he would always put his buddies first. he wasn't into me enough to give up hanging out with his buddies even when he knew I didn't like them. And there were many times when he would just make me wait for him while he was hanging out with his friends because it's "not very nice" to just walk off and leave.
foolishlover Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 So similar to me! Been broken up for a month and NC for a month. Ran into him today at the gym. I was at reception and about to go in but i saw him and then just reversed out and left. I thought I was doing ok. But once i saw him there, I got all upset again and felt like i was back in square one. I hate these feelings of sadness. It is not fun and I just wish I could be back to my old normal self again. The person I was before meeting him. As to why he didnt say hi to you, if that happened to me, i would think that it was because he is just as hurt. Talking will just open up the wounds. Think of it as a blessing. NC truly is the best way to move on. Out of sight, out of mind I say.
Author zero123 Posted May 27, 2012 Author Posted May 27, 2012 So similar to me! Been broken up for a month and NC for a month. Ran into him today at the gym. I was at reception and about to go in but i saw him and then just reversed out and left. I thought I was doing ok. But once i saw him there, I got all upset again and felt like i was back in square one. I hate these feelings of sadness. It is not fun and I just wish I could be back to my old normal self again. The person I was before meeting him. As to why he didnt say hi to you, if that happened to me, i would think that it was because he is just as hurt. Talking will just open up the wounds. Think of it as a blessing. NC truly is the best way to move on. Out of sight, out of mind I say. Hey first off, good job for sticking to NC for one month! I'm on my first week because I broke it last week. I take Leigh87's point though, he cheated and then dumped me, and when i saw him last night, when he just walked off, just showed me how much he cares about me - he doesn't care one bit to check how i was doing. He went on a vacation already and he's hanging out with his buddies till late at night everyday (possibly hitting on random girls in the bars/clubs too). sigh, he is just so cruel. He broke my heart, crushed me and went on with his life, pretended nothing has ever happened between us. and yeah i feel for you foolishlover, how I wish I could be back to my old normal self again. Best of luck to us both!
Sugarkane Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 I've also had this happen to me too. It really hurts like hell. It makes me jaded about trying daring again because people like this can just end up feeling nothing. Not a great feeling that's for sure.
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