MadSworthy Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 I loved my ex so much. I still love her. I'm still not over her. I love her to bits. I always want her to be happy. She was my everything, my all, my love, my misery, my happiness, my torture. When she came into my life, I told myself I will love her and never gonna hurt her. But she broke up with me couple of weeks ago and now she's already got a new boyfriend. We talked today and she said she would be glad if we can still be friends. I said okay but deep inside I don't think I can handle that. It would be better for me to distant in order to make it easy for me to move on. I'm still bitter and angry to the fact that she quickly entered to a new relationship. I don't know what to do. I'm so lost. I feel like a loser for feeling like this. Thanks for letting me vent. But any advice would be greatly appreciated.
DuchessKaye Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 Sometimes it is impossible to end with good terms with an ex. Sometimes you have to stay away if that's the most healthy thing to do. But if the possibility to be friends with them is there, then being on good terms with them is a better place to be. 2
Author MadSworthy Posted May 27, 2012 Author Posted May 27, 2012 But I can't be friends with her right now. I can't stand seeing her with her new bf. I need space. But I couldn't turn her down either. She said she'll be glad to be friends with me, and I didn't know why I said yes, when in fact I know I can't. I love her so much, I love her more than anyone could ever imagine. I love her so much that I can't see myself with anyone else.
CarrieT Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 I am friends with all of my Ex's except for the last; but none of those friendships occurred immediately after the break-up -- they happened years later, after both parties had a chance to heal and have some space and time to be introspective and retrospective about the relationship. When I finally did reconnect with the Ex's after the healing occurred, we all/both agreed that we were different people during the relationship than we were later, so it was possible to be friends... There is love and affection and remembrance for what was - with no hope or desire to rekindle. But never immediately after the break-up! 1
DuchessKaye Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 Awwwww! I can only imagine your pain, MadS. I have been through that. I think everybody have had their hearts broken like yours. That's a fact of life. But I promise you, you'll eventually get over it. I understand it that it's only been 3 weeks and it is understandable that you're having a hard time handling the break up plus her moving on to other guy that fast. Just be honest and politely tell her that you need to distant and that you can't be friends with her right now. You just need time, remember to give time. Time is the best aid, trust me. 1
Leigh 87 Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 It is hard enough getting over a person your in love with - even harder if you still talk with them. It seams easier in the short term - u cannot bear to have no contact with one that you love - yet it will make it harder to get over them, so you feel this proufound pain for longer ( than if you went no contact, even though not seeing a person you love feels unnatural) Neither way is easy! Think about what will help you heal the fastest! Do you honestly want to be around her, knowing she is with another guy, and does not want to get back together with you? Your in love with her; when your in love, you WANT to see them! It hurts not being around them! The problem with this is -> you will feel that SEEING her will relieve your desperate need to see her; it will, but it will also be incredibly hard to see a girl, who you love, who is not in love with you anymore.
gibson Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 You sound very young so let me share with you some advice, knowledge and wisdom on how to attract and keep the attraction with a woman. My advice 1. Get your self-worth, self-esteem, self-image, confidence, "mojo", identity, validation, approval, boundaries, etc. from within. 2. Have a life / adventure / passions / goals / dreams / etc. that are your own, that you actively pursue at all times because NOBODY (your Ex included) wants to be your EVERYTHING. 3. Character, integrity, security, values, morals, confidence, respect, leadership, sense of humor, sense of adventure, fun, etc. has a major influence on who women are attracted too, date, enter into relationships with, fall in love with and marry. 4. Be yourself, Be true to yourself, Be genuine, Be authentic. 5. Invite a woman to share and take part in your life / adventure / passions / goals / dreams / etc. Based on what you shared with us about how you think and feel about yourself and your Ex... I strongly encourage you to focus all your time, effort and energy on all 5 things above. Especially, 1 & 2. Once you do that, 3, 4 and 5 should come very, very easy too you. 3
FizzyGirl Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 I loved my ex so much. I still love her. I'm still not over her. I love her to bits. I always want her to be happy. She was my everything, my all, my love, my misery, my happiness, my torture. When she came into my life, I told myself I will love her and never gonna hurt her. But she broke up with me couple of weeks ago and now she's already got a new boyfriend. We talked today and she said she would be glad if we can still be friends. I said okay but deep inside I don't think I can handle that. It would be better for me to distant in order to make it easy for me to move on. I'm still bitter and angry to the fact that she quickly entered to a new relationship. I don't know what to do. I'm so lost. I feel like a loser for feeling like this. Thanks for letting me vent. But any advice would be greatly appreciated. You can DEFINITELY be friends with an ex! But not immediately. When you're really hurting and you're not over someoone, the worst thing is to hear and see how their life is without you. It's torture. I'd recommend you tell her that you do want to be friends, but right now it's so hard for you to do so. Tell her you need a good break, and when you're healed, you can try and build a friendship. My ex of 6 years broke up with me 2 years ago. I loved him with all my heart, breaking up with him completely broke me. I thought I'd never get over it, and I told him I didn't know that we could ever be friends. Now though, he's my very best friend. He got married last year, yet we're still there for each other. He's been there for me through my most recent heartache, and I don't know where I'd be without him. I couldn't see it when I was upset and the break up was fresh, but this way I got him for life. He's totally a BFF! 2
jennisfora Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 you can be friends with an ex, i am friends with a couple, albeit not close, they live in other towns. but, even the one i am closest too, we didn't really become friends again until a couple months of mutual nc. i left him and he had to heal, and i was busy making dumb decisions with mr toxic rebound. now we have both moved on, i am alone and he has an awesome girlfriend, and we're cool. so yeah, it is possible as long as there is no abuse in the relationship. but you will need a mourning period. and i am sure she would respect that. just be honest and tell her that you need some time to heal before you can be friends, and that when you are ready you will reach out and until then, to respect your wishes to not contact so you can move on. she will understand, and you will be better off healing if you aren't in contact. *hugs* 1
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