euterope Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 My beloved is leaving in about 2 months. He'll be gone for at least 2 years, more like 5; and he'll be basically walking around the US, Mexico, and South America for that time. So it's not like I can just move somewhere else to join him. I am 34, but honestly this is the first time I have had no hesitation in saying that I am in love. He loves me as well, but he has wanted to go on this journey since he was 19 and he had it planned long before I was in the picture. He has changed me for the better in so many ways. I'm not afraid to love anymore because of him. But I am terrified of how much it's going to hurt when he leaves, and afraid that I'll never love anyone again. How do you make peace with a relationship ending when it's not because of any problem in the relationship itself? How do you make meaning out of something that feels so meaningless? Also, I process my emotions largely through songs or poetry, so if you have any ideas of songs, poems or quotes that might help me to make peace with this, I'd love to hear them. Thanks.
Mack05 Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 (edited) I hate to say it, but he is stringing you along. Now of course you are both 'special' together and I don't understand the 'bond' you both have or how complex this moron is....blah blah blah.. Some people are not genuine and full of *****. You ask any man worth his salt, any man who loves a woman with all his heart, he would either pay for her to come with him, or he would sacrifice himself to be with the woman he loves..There is no third option.. Two things here. He is either extraordinarily selfish and incapable of being in a stable relationship OR this guy is full of sh!..t and he is a coward, for not being truly honest with you. Its one or the other. Either way this is a right off. He will slowly stop contacting you. He is honestly not worth your tears...You deserve a guy whose universe revolves around you.. Edited May 27, 2012 by Mack05
Author euterope Posted May 27, 2012 Author Posted May 27, 2012 I hear ya, Mack. I won't be quite as harsh as that, but basically this is a trip he should have done when he was 23, and now that he's 30 he still thinks he needs to do it. And yes, there's more than a fair amount of immaturity in that, and selfishness as well. And there are moments when I get really sick of this rollercoaster ride of "I love you so much" and then "Gee sorry I can't talk because I have so much work to get done to get ready for this trip." But regardless, I still love him, and I'm still stuck with a hell of a lot of heartbreak to figure out. It's been so hard for me to find someone who I really fit well with, and I just don't understand why he has to be literally walking out of my life for no good reason. It would almost be easier if he was ending it because he didn't love me; at least then I wouldn't feel like my soulmate might be leaving me and I'm going to be left to suffer the consequences of his immaturity.
kindest Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 This one is pretty popular. It's my favorite poem. I read it whenever I feel I need to find peace. Desiderata Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
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