Super Akin Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 I am in a long distance relationship with a girl I love who lives in London while I live in America. We get along great and for the most part have equal goals in mind regarding our relationship. However lately she's been really busy with nursing for the past 2 months and we haven't got to talk as much. It's really upsetting, when we do get to talk its only for about an hour or 2 once out of two days because she's doing 12 hour shifts and is tired. Today was supposed to be our free day to talk and I had fun but once again it was only for about an hour and a half and she disappeared on me. She came back saying her father came home and her parents are really nosey about her conversations with boys so she never talks to me when their home which causes more time without talking. I love my girlfriend and I'm pretty sure she loves me, we've been together for5 months and have gotten a lot closer. However I just feel like I'm not getting to spend enough time with her lately and I'm worried if it's really because she's busy. I brought it up to her and she says she's really upset about it too but when she leaves randomly to charge her phone(our only method of communication and then doesnt come back for hours sometimes not even until the next day it makes me wonder. This will be without a proper goodbye sometimes,, 95% of the time she says she falls asleep though. I'm 19 and she's 22 btw.
confused2385 Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 I've gone through this exact same thing and heard the exact same thing. She's being shady. If your phone dies would you find a way to send off that good night text or skype? She goes to sleep just fine not doing that and I hate to say it because i'm a fairytale romantic, but that is a red flag! I wish i realized mine earlier. Hold strong and good luck!
Author Super Akin Posted May 27, 2012 Author Posted May 27, 2012 I've gone through this exact same thing and heard the exact same thing. She's being shady. If your phone dies would you find a way to send off that good night text or skype? She goes to sleep just fine not doing that and I hate to say it because i'm a fairytale romantic, but that is a red flag! I wish i realized mine earlier. Hold strong and good luck! She was saying she was feeling tired all day today so its also possible she fell asleep, but I still wish she would have said something, Thanks for your thoughts!
ladyabstrused Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 If she falls asleep most of the time, and her reason is because she gets tired from the day at work, did you guys discuss about other options of communication? It's difficult when the modes of communication is limited, but you've got to make do with what you have. I would find it weird if my SO "falls asleep" on me more than a few times. It could just be a cover up. I don't know, personally, I feel like she's not really into you or not too serious about your relationship with her. Because if she values and respects what little time she has with you, she'd say something before falling asleep, or won't disappear for hours just charging her phone etc. And this just shows she doesn't quite respect you either.
tinyrobot Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 Hmmm, this sounds so familiar.... like we are talking over MSN, he disappears all of a sudden then returns after an hour saying he forgot to connect back O.o I must tell you I never figured out why these people do things like this.. I can only think its an excuse to end the conversation. I always wondered why he couldnt use some education and say "hey, I think im sleepy, lets talk tomorrow before I fall asleep on the puter" and only once I got an answer "problem is you get mad when I want to stop talkiing here and you start more conversation when Im telling you that Im getting tired..." I dont know... ask yourself if that's not your case...
writergal Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 While it's possible your LD girlfriend could be misleading you (when she disappears to charge her phone, which does seem "shady"), it's also possible she really is falling asleep and forgets to check in with you. I know that when my sister went through her nursing school program, she too worked 12 hour shifts the same day she had 4 hours of classes, that left little time for her to sleep, eat, much less socialize. And she was dating her now-husband who rarely saw her in person (and they lived in the same city). Just try to be patient and not too demanding with her. Nursing school isn't easy and demands a lot of time and commitment. The only way to find out it to talk to your girlfriend about your concerns. I am in a long distance relationship with a girl I love who lives in London while I live in America. We get along great and for the most part have equal goals in mind regarding our relationship. However lately she's been really busy with nursing for the past 2 months and we haven't got to talk as much. It's really upsetting, when we do get to talk its only for about an hour or 2 once out of two days because she's doing 12 hour shifts and is tired. Today was supposed to be our free day to talk and I had fun but once again it was only for about an hour and a half and she disappeared on me. She came back saying her father came home and her parents are really nosey about her conversations with boys so she never talks to me when their home which causes more time without talking. I love my girlfriend and I'm pretty sure she loves me, we've been together for5 months and have gotten a lot closer. However I just feel like I'm not getting to spend enough time with her lately and I'm worried if it's really because she's busy. I brought it up to her and she says she's really upset about it too but when she leaves randomly to charge her phone(our only method of communication and then doesnt come back for hours sometimes not even until the next day it makes me wonder. This will be without a proper goodbye sometimes,, 95% of the time she says she falls asleep though. I'm 19 and she's 22 btw.
Author Super Akin Posted May 31, 2012 Author Posted May 31, 2012 (edited) Alright update time. Since her skype wasn't working we have decided to use Tango which is ideal for our situation since we can call each other withou long distance fees. In fact we eactually got to talk a bit on monday. The problem is she has four 12 hour shifts this week and it's killing me. I didnt text her yesterday to see if she would initiate a response, she didn't. I caved in and texted her and she texts me back, though this was at five am and I haven't heard from her since. Another thing is her parents are apparently super strict and nosy so they dont like when she talks on the phone with boys. Which limits our time even more, I'm dying to talk to her about it but will have to wait till at least saturday due to the fact she has 12 hour shifts till friday. I've thought about it but does this make me all the way at the bottom of her priority list or what? edit: She also posted on facebook responding to someone in japanese today(because he said nice to meet you in kanji) which probably takes a lot longer than texting me back and she still did not do it. I texted her back saying it was hurtful that she could respond to someone on facebook but not me. The only possibilities I can come up with are that she's just not that into me or it's emotionally draining to talk to me right now. Edited May 31, 2012 by Super Akin
Author Super Akin Posted May 31, 2012 Author Posted May 31, 2012 Ookayyy so apparently she did not get a lot of my messages being in the hospital most of the day, and she was on her friends phone when she was on facebook, I feel pretty stupid needless to say.
pteromom Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 All I know is if you start getting too needy or keep getting mad when you can't talk to her as much as you want, she's gonna start backing off. If she's got 12 hour days already, the last thing she needs is more demands made on her. She needs you to be supportive and loving. Assume she is doing the best she can, and assume she has good intentions. And get a hobby so you aren't just sitting around watching her FB page and waiting for her to call you.
Recommended Posts