zigg1 Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 (edited) So this girl i have deep feeling for told me she thinks of me as a freind. I told her yesterday how i feel. She says she does not feel the same way but she really likes me and hugged me. Another guy told her he liked her but she doesn't see him as a potential BF what so ever, so she got a bit mad at him and hates him now. So she says she still has feelings for her EX thats she broke up with last summer and she has trust issues with guys, i don't blame her she has had a ****ty past. Also she told me a guy before (after she broke up with her ex) liked her and she told him she doesn't feel the same way, but eventually started to like him, things ended bad with him though. I poured out my heart to her over the phone, i think i was a bit too much. She has not replied yet. Anyways i see real potential in this girl and i think she is worth chasing, i don't doubt that she has some interest in me. The problem is i don't know exactly how to pursue this girl without being toooo clingy or available. Should i just act like i acted before i told her which was just normal, we hung out quite a bit and talk a lot. Or should i stay distant, but say hi and talk once in a while. I don't want to be her emotional tampon. I want to win my way into her heart, but need some guidance since its clear i sort of have a chance. EDIT: i even went to the length of joining her at another job to get to know her better, which pays less than my current job and is way harder. I also told her why i joined when i said "i needed a second job because the first one was stressful" even though it wasn't i just said it was as a cover up. She says i should quit since its not worth the distance, but i told her im here because of her and its hard for me to quit. Edited May 26, 2012 by zigg1
JuneJulySeptember Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 So this girl i have deep feeling for told me she thinks of me as a freind. Didn't have to read anything past the first sentence. Either she thinks you are a wuss or butt ugly. You want to keep hanging around a woman like that? She WILL chase other guys and she WILL sleep with other guys while you are still friends with her. Count on it. Grow some balls and cut contact.
Author zigg1 Posted May 27, 2012 Author Posted May 27, 2012 Didn't have to read anything past the first sentence. Either she thinks you are a wuss or butt ugly. You want to keep hanging around a woman like that? She WILL chase other guys and she WILL sleep with other guys while you are still friends with her. Count on it. Grow some balls and cut contact. LOL u are soo way off. Read the whole dam thing first then conclude...
JuneJulySeptember Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 So she says she still has feelings for her EX thats she broke up with last summer and she has trust issues with guys, i don't blame her she has had a ****ty past. LOL u are soo way off. Read the whole dam thing first then conclude... I read the whole thing. I just said I didn't HAVE to read any more than the first sentence. Young man, she is not attracted to you. It doesn't matter that she still has feelings for her ex. I guarantee if she were attracted to you, she'd have jumped your bones. Never put women on a pedestal. They are not better and more often than not, worse than men. I know it's hard for young men to accept the reality that a woman they have such strong feelings for feels nothing. But that is the case 90%+ of the time. She just does not think you are attractive. Period. Trust me. I am so much older than you and I have been there. Cut your losses and move on.
Author zigg1 Posted May 27, 2012 Author Posted May 27, 2012 I read the whole thing. I just said I didn't HAVE to read any more than the first sentence. Young man, she is not attracted to you. It doesn't matter that she still has feelings for her ex. I guarantee if she were attracted to you, she'd have jumped your bones. Never put women on a pedestal. They are not better and more often than not, worse than men. I know it's hard for young men to accept the reality that a woman they have such strong feelings for feels nothing. But that is the case 90%+ of the time. She just does not think you are attractive. Period. Trust me. I am so much older than you and I have been there. Cut your losses and move on. i would like to believe that, but her ex was a fat ugly dude, not being rude, but all the girls that have seen him say that. Now she says that she does not go for looks, but for a good personality, i myself are the same way, when i first saw her i had NO attraction to her what so ever, like i mean i would not bang her if she were the last on the planet. Now ive got to know her better i just find myself in love with her personality. Its that once u fall in love with someones personality everything about them becomes beautiful. she said she fell in love with his personality and that she did not like him at first, They became good freinds then it turned into a relationship. Im just saying that i see that its possible and that i shouldn't give up so easily.
phineas Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 What someone says doesn't matter. What they do does. she aint doing you. A woman who is into you, will do you instead of risking the chance someone else will.
Author zigg1 Posted May 27, 2012 Author Posted May 27, 2012 What someone says doesn't matter. What they do does. she aint doing you. A woman who is into you, will do you instead of risking the chance someone else will. sex you mean? if so, its a NO. she does not want sex at all, thats the reason why she broke up, her ex cheated on her because she wouldn't sleep with him
phineas Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 sex you mean? if so, its a NO. she does not want sex at all, thats the reason why she broke up, her ex cheated on her because she wouldn't sleep with him I don't even...
JuneJulySeptember Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 sex you mean? if so, its a NO. she does not want sex at all, thats the reason why she broke up, her ex cheated on her because she wouldn't sleep with him So you are planning to chase a woman who you are crazy about who has already rejected you, and if you get her, you get the benefit of NO SEX?!? Did I miss something?
Author zigg1 Posted May 27, 2012 Author Posted May 27, 2012 So you are planning to chase a woman who you are crazy about who has already rejected you, and if you get her, you get the benefit of NO SEX?!? Did I miss something? meh, im ok with that... u cant just hop bases. lol
carhill Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 Here's a tip from another old fart: Pour out your feelings on your deathbed. Definitely not before you're in a mutually satisfying sexual and romantic relationship. She's already fµcked your mind. There's nothing left to interest her. Take that information and apply it to the next lady who strikes your fancy. This one is a dry hole.
Author zigg1 Posted May 28, 2012 Author Posted May 28, 2012 Lets call the girl i like "jane" Ok we were both working today, we acted like everything is normal. Except today another female co worker i work with went on lunch with me. I basically spent the day away from jane with other girls at work and she totally noticed it and obviously was annoyed. she asked the most annoying guy at work to go on lunch with her and not only i, but everyone else noticed, since she never asks anyone to go on lunch. And every time i walked by i can see her looking at me... So yes, its clear that she does like me. Everyone at work even says so. its just that im basically the rebound for her as long as her ex is around. And im not going to revolve myself around her and i think she gets that and does not like it one bit. i guess people on the forum cant rule it out unless they are their to see it or i explain everything in detail...
utterer of lies Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 Ok we were both working today, we acted like everything is normal. Except today another female co worker i work with went on lunch with me. I basically spent the day away from jane with other girls at work and she totally noticed it and obviously was annoyed. she asked the most annoying guy at work to go on lunch with her and not only i, but everyone else noticed, since she never asks anyone to go on lunch. Everyone else noticed? Did they bring it up to you without you starting to talk about her? And every time i walked by i can see her looking at me... She obviously likes the attention she gets for you, especially now that she made clear you're just a 'friend'. She know you want more and therefore has complete power over you. i guess people on the forum cant rule it out unless they are their to see it or i explain everything in detail... Ever thought about how your feelings colour your impressions of what she might feel or think or why she does things?
dasein Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 Nothing anyone here says is going to deter you based on your replies, so keep chasing her full steam ahead. This is a lesson people can't learn for you, hopefully you will learn it after one experience.
RedRobin Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 A woman who is into you, will do you instead of risking the chance someone else will. Nope. Only insecure ones do that. Secure women never sleep with a guy out of fear or threat of competition.
RedRobin Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 sex you mean? if so, its a NO. she does not want sex at all, thats the reason why she broke up, her ex cheated on her because she wouldn't sleep with him Did she say how long she expected him to go without sex? If it is more than a month or two, most men would assume she wasn't interested in them. You may want to ask her what her definition of 'cheating' is, and what kind of relationship they had. She may have some other issues related to sex.
Author zigg1 Posted May 28, 2012 Author Posted May 28, 2012 Everyone else noticed? Did they bring it up to you without you starting to talk about her? She obviously likes the attention she gets for you, especially now that she made clear you're just a 'friend'. She know you want more and therefore has complete power over you. Ever thought about how your feelings colour your impressions of what she might feel or think or why she does things? ye they told me they noticed, i honestly did not care lol. And no, she does not have power over me, I honestly have no problem saying "no" im sort of a straight up person. I am not giving her the attention i used to give her and its clear that she is not liking it. I used to reply instantly to her texts, now i wait like an hour and she still continues to text within that hour... And yes i do feel sometimes that i take things a different way because of my emotions clouding my better judgement. At this point, im sort of in the company of a lot of other women so im really not caring about her and shes starting to notice and its clear she does not like it...
Author zigg1 Posted May 28, 2012 Author Posted May 28, 2012 Nothing anyone here says is going to deter you based on your replies, so keep chasing her full steam ahead. This is a lesson people can't learn for you, hopefully you will learn it after one experience. i have been down this road before, Im just taking a totally different route this time. The last girl kept me as an emotional tampon and i allowed it thats why it never worked out. I moved on. Im older and more mature now, i have a lot more experience with women than i did before. All im saying is im gonna just let things flow and see how it goes.
mortensorchid Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 You're chasing a shadow, guy. You will end up disappointed by this woman somehow sometime in the future. If she's not going to play ball now, she will never. How would you feel if you were in her place? You'd be creeped out wouldn't you? Best to move on.
Author zigg1 Posted May 28, 2012 Author Posted May 28, 2012 You're chasing a shadow, guy. You will end up disappointed by this woman somehow sometime in the future. If she's not going to play ball now, she will never. How would you feel if you were in her place? You'd be creeped out wouldn't you? Best to move on. lol creeped out? shes texting me non stop, she loves my attention and company, im just giving her an ultimatum. Either me or her ex. And im not expecting much so i wont be disappointed.
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