joystickd Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 The people that you encounter in life does the extreme views cause you to reconsider your views about dating.
Pyro Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 never did for me and not even close. The typical healthy person treats each person as an individual. If you want to call it an affect, reading some stories here helped teach me some red flags to look out for.
Author joystickd Posted June 25, 2012 Author Posted June 25, 2012 never did for me and not even close. The typical healthy person treats each person as an individual. If you want to call it an affect, reading some stories here helped teach me some red flags to look out for. Yes healthy people treat each person as an individual so I wonder about some of the posts on here
Author joystickd Posted June 25, 2012 Author Posted June 25, 2012 Define extreme. men: you assume women are golddigging sluts women: assume men will have sex with any woman breathing but want a swimsuit model for a LTR Just two examples there.
verhrzn Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 men: you assume women are golddigging sluts women: assume men will have sex with any woman breathing but want a swimsuit model for a LTR Just two examples there. I still don't get why it's illogical to think guys want a swimsuit model for an LTR. (I do not actually believe most men will have sex with any woman. Most women, yes, but not any.) I mean, what guy doesn't want a swimsuit model for a girlfriend/wife?? Seriously.
Author joystickd Posted June 25, 2012 Author Posted June 25, 2012 I still don't get why it's illogical to think guys want a swimsuit model for an LTR. (I do not actually believe most men will have sex with any woman. Most women, yes, but not any.) I mean, what guy doesn't want a swimsuit model for a girlfriend/wife?? Seriously. It is because it puts men in a box based on the idea of universal standards of beauty and the reality is that not all men all over the world would want a swimsuit model. Wouldn't you want to be treated as an individual?
verhrzn Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 It is because it puts men in a box based on the idea of universal standards of beauty and the reality is that not all men all over the world would want a swimsuit model. Wouldn't you want to be treated as an individual? ... Except there DOES seem to be a universal standard of beauty. At least, in terms of certain things. Greater symmetry in the face increases a person's level of attractiveness, a certain hip-to-waist ratio is the overwhelmingly preferred body shape for women, etc. These are all things demonstrated by scientific studies. Yeah, individuals sometimes have different preferences, just like occasionally that object in the sky isn't a bird/a plane/a cloud, but most of the time it IS a bird/a plane/a cloud. Stating that the great majority of men want a swimsuit model isn't denying there is a certain element of individualism in desire, but... let's be realistic here.
gaius Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 I still don't get why it's illogical to think guys want a swimsuit model for an LTR. (I do not actually believe most men will have sex with any woman. Most women, yes, but not any.) I mean, what guy doesn't want a swimsuit model for a girlfriend/wife?? Seriously. I sunburn easily. How about a lingerie model? Seriously though, you must know a guy or two who's picked the less conventionally beautiful girl to be with. I know plenty. You've never seen a couple walk in at the office Christmas party and think “wow, he could do better”? Extremist views are usually so counter to what I've experienced in real life I don't pay much attention.
Author joystickd Posted June 25, 2012 Author Posted June 25, 2012 ... Except there DOES seem to be a universal standard of beauty. At least, in terms of certain things. Greater symmetry in the face increases a person's level of attractiveness, a certain hip-to-waist ratio is the overwhelmingly preferred body shape for women, etc. These are all things demonstrated by scientific studies. Yeah, individuals sometimes have different preferences, just like occasionally that object in the sky isn't a bird/a plane/a cloud, but most of the time it IS a bird/a plane/a cloud. Stating that the great majority of men want a swimsuit model isn't denying there is a certain element of individualism in desire, but... let's be realistic here. On some level you are denying individualism. A sample group of a 100 or a 1000 people constitute a universal standard I think not.
mesmerized Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 If I feel like they are in tune with reality yes, otherwise no. According to LS, I'm past 25 and not physically desirable anymore. According to guys in real life, it's a totally different story so it doesn't affect me.
Bob_Funk Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 If I feel like they are in tune with reality yes, otherwise no. According to LS, I'm past 25 and not physically desirable anymore. According to guys in real life, it's a totally different story so it doesn't affect me. I don't think anyone's saying that. Pussy always has value. A 35 year old woman, while no longer in her prime, will still be desirable to most guys. Just not as much as her 20 year old self.
mesmerized Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 I don't think anyone's saying that. Pussy always has value. A 35 year old woman, while no longer in her prime, will still be desirable to most guys. Just not as much as her 20 year old self. Meh, I don't even agree with that, depends on the person. My classmates from college who saw me after many years all told me I look better now. Everyone's different.
verhrzn Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 I sunburn easily. How about a lingerie model? Seriously though, you must know a guy or two who's picked the less conventionally beautiful girl to be with. I know plenty. You've never seen a couple walk in at the office Christmas party and think “wow, he could do better”? Extremist views are usually so counter to what I've experienced in real life I don't pay much attention. Usually he picked the less conventionally hot girl because he couldn't 1) get the hot girl or 2) couldn't get a hot girl with personality. Here's how I figure the male ladder works: Hot Girl with good personality > hot girl without personality/average girl with personality > hot girl with bad personality > average girl with bad personality > ugly girl with personality. (The slash being he could choose either way, depending on his mood and what he's after.) I have yet to have ever heard of a guy choosing the less attractive/good personality girl over a hot girl/good personality girl. If you object to this order, could you please state why? Cause again... it makes no logical sense to me that if a guy could have his pick, he wouldn't choose the hot girl, so long as she had a suitable personality.
Cracker Jack Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Those are the people I tend to ignore the most.
Author joystickd Posted June 25, 2012 Author Posted June 25, 2012 Usually he picked the less conventionally hot girl because he couldn't 1) get the hot girl or 2) couldn't get a hot girl with personality. Here's how I figure the male ladder works: Hot Girl with good personality > hot girl without personality/average girl with personality > hot girl with bad personality > average girl with bad personality > ugly girl with personality. (The slash being he could choose either way, depending on his mood and what he's after.) I have yet to have ever heard of a guy choosing the less attractive/good personality girl over a hot girl/good personality girl. If you object to this order, could you please state why? Cause again... it makes no logical sense to me that if a guy could have his pick, he wouldn't choose the hot girl, so long as she had a suitable personality. Because that may not be his preference
verhrzn Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Because that may not be his preference Again... on what planet would a swimsuit/lingerie model NOT be a guy's preference? Why? 1
mesmerized Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Again... on what planet would a swimsuit/lingerie model NOT be a guy's preference? Why? take it easy on joystick, he forgot to take his medicine it seems.
Cracker Jack Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Hey, V. If you don't mind, could you whip up a quick female ladder? I wanna compare the data.
verhrzn Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 take it easy on joystick, he forgot to take his medicine it seems. It's just very confusing. I spent most of Saturday morning in a corset, fishnets, and spanks, and got absolutely zero attention, despite my cheerful disposition (saying hi to everyone, big smiles, etc.) Compare that to my booth-mate, who never stopped getting hit on. Why? Cause she's hot. (For the record, fellow LS ladies, she's also 35! So I would say the whole "older women are automatically gross" thing is disproven.) To have these experiences repeatedly, and then come on LS and see male posters claim they'd totally date an average/ugly girl over a hot one is like someone trying to claim the sky is orange. It's just strange.
verhrzn Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Hey, V. If you don't mind, could you whip up a quick female ladder? I wanna compare the data. Sadly, no, because women are weird. Honestly. I have no better way of explaining it. Women will choose "ugly" guys with bad personalities over hot guys with good personalities. (The whole "women only like jerks!" stereotype thing.) Ya see plenty of threads about it here... "she choose the drug dealer/unemployed/mean guy, and he's not even attractive!" I've also noted that how a girl reacts to a guy will depend on, for lack of a better explanation, tides of the moon. I've seen girls be really into a guy one night, and then the next night couldn't care less about him. The only consistance I've seen with girls is that they will choose the guy with charisma (sometimes known as confidence, but more a social intelligence) over anything else, anytime. Charisma does not necessarily mean a good personality... but guys who have a certain energy about them are always attractive, regardless of looks or values or anything else. Even the scientific studies they've done on women show a weird jump-all-over-the-map thing. They don't find a lot of consistency: though a big one I read recently found that if women find a guy is taken, he immediately becomes more attractive to the majority of them. So, that stereotype does appear to be pretty much true (though not universal.) *Shrugs* What can I say, males as a whole have a lot more scientific consistency than women do. That isn't to say women aren't consistant in something, just that science can't nail down exactly what it is yet.
Author joystickd Posted June 25, 2012 Author Posted June 25, 2012 It's just very confusing. I spent most of Saturday morning in a corset, fishnets, and spanks, and got absolutely zero attention, despite my cheerful disposition (saying hi to everyone, big smiles, etc.) Compare that to my booth-mate, who never stopped getting hit on. Why? Cause she's hot. (For the record, fellow LS ladies, she's also 35! So I would say the whole "older women are automatically gross" thing is disproven.) To have these experiences repeatedly, and then come on LS and see male posters claim they'd totally date an average/ugly girl over a hot one is like someone trying to claim the sky is orange. It's just strange. Its not strange. Why can't you even acknowledge men have different preferences? I mean honestly your experiences and the experiences of a few women don't prove the generalized statements for all men. If that were so then based on some of the men here you all would be golddigging misandrists. I don't believe that because I live in the real world and treat everyone as an individual.
Author joystickd Posted June 25, 2012 Author Posted June 25, 2012 Sadly, no, because women are weird. Honestly. I have no better way of explaining it. Women will choose "ugly" guys with bad personalities over hot guys with good personalities. (The whole "women only like jerks!" stereotype thing.) Ya see plenty of threads about it here... "she choose the drug dealer/unemployed/mean guy, and he's not even attractive!" I've also noted that how a girl reacts to a guy will depend on, for lack of a better explanation, tides of the moon. I've seen girls be really into a guy one night, and then the next night couldn't care less about him. The only consistance I've seen with girls is that they will choose the guy with charisma (sometimes known as confidence, but more a social intelligence) over anything else, anytime. Charisma does not necessarily mean a good personality... but guys who have a certain energy about them are always attractive, regardless of looks or values or anything else. Even the scientific studies they've done on women show a weird jump-all-over-the-map thing. They don't find a lot of consistency: though a big one I read recently found that if women find a guy is taken, he immediately becomes more attractive to the majority of them. So, that stereotype does appear to be pretty much true (though not universal.) *Shrugs* What can I say, males as a whole have a lot more scientific consistency than women do. That isn't to say women aren't consistant in something, just that science can't nail down exactly what it is yet. The science of a sample group is not universal.
verhrzn Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Its not strange. Why can't you even acknowledge men have different preferences? I mean honestly your experiences and the experiences of a few women don't prove the generalized statements for all men. If that were so then based on some of the men here you all would be golddigging misandrists. I don't believe that because I live in the real world and treat everyone as an individual. Except my experiences are backed up by scientific data as well. Males DO show a marked preference for a certain body type, there is a preference as far as race goes (Caucasian males, and Asian females, are the most desirable), etc. I'm proving my side. Where is your data? Or are you just arguing your own personal experience over my personal experience? I mean, if you say I'm wrong despite my personal experiences, then how can you prove you're right with your personal experiences? The science of a sample group is not universal. *Eyeroll* Except the sample group was chosen to BE universal. You can't just wave away decades of research by saying "Oh it's a sample group." Sample groups are chosen in a way to ensure that it is universal, otherwise the study would be meaningless.
jobaba Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 It's just very confusing. I spent most of Saturday morning in a corset, fishnets, and spanks, and got absolutely zero attention, despite my cheerful disposition (saying hi to everyone, big smiles, etc.) Compare that to my booth-mate, who never stopped getting hit on. Why? Cause she's hot. (For the record, fellow LS ladies, she's also 35! So I would say the whole "older women are automatically gross" thing is disproven.) To have these experiences repeatedly, and then come on LS and see male posters claim they'd totally date an average/ugly girl over a hot one is like someone trying to claim the sky is orange. It's just strange. So what if it is like that for you? So what if you are ugly and guys are shallow (they are ... largely, just like women)? You have 2 choices. 1) Whine about it and go off in the corner and die off like society wants you to. 2) Get out, put on a layer of thick rhino skin, and play the numbers and hit on and approach men, and document your rejections here.
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