Younger men are interested in older women, men just do not want us to believe this?

[LittlePrince]

Well, you could donate it to all the worthless bastards in orphanages.

But the orphan meat as the topping would make it cannibalism and I don't support alternative lifestyles.

[Mme. Chaucer]

A man going for a much older woman is purely sexual on the part of both parties.

 

I have a very close friend who has been with her husband for 26 years. He is 9 years younger than she is. He was obsessed with her when we were all young; they got together and it stuck.

 

I am also friends with another couple where the woman is TWENTY TWO YEARS older than the man!!! She is a spectacular woman (a professor, a renowned anthropologist, an author, completely captivating, etc.) I think she is one of the most compelling people I know; evidently her husband feels that way too.

 

For the record, these men are not "beggars" of any kind. They are both very successful and one of them is even famous in his field. And handsome, too.

 

They are not the only people I know in long lasting relationships where the woman is older than the man, but they are close friends of mine.

 

Of course, there are plenty of purely sexual liaisons between older women and younger men as well.

 

And, clearly, our culture still promotes older man / younger women as being "normal," and the reverse being kind of … unusual.

 

So what.

 

Do what you feel. Don't be a lap dog or a kool-aid guzzler, please.

[Negative Nancy]

A man going for a much older woman is purely sexual on the part of both parties.

 

As a man in his early thirties, I can verify this is mostly true. I sometimes date women my own age or a touch older. Generally they either already have children and don't want more, or don't want children at all. That's something I want in the future. Therefore the only thing left in my mind is a short not too serious relationship.

 

May - December romances with a huge age gap between the parties seldom turn into marriage and babies

 

see y'all, I told you so

[thatone]

I have read many posts of older men dating younger women, want women with no baggage, that once a woman passes 30 she is not desirable anymore. This is hogwash. Since single, I have been in many interesting conversations with young men, early 20s, while out, (gorgeous young men), and when I told them they were just babies, and I was in my thirties, this had no phase on them, seemed more of a wow factor, and they were even more interested. Not the slightest hint of ageism, hangups about women, and it was so refreshing to interact with such non judgemental men.

I have yet to take a chance with a man who is 20 or 21. Are there any women here who do date much younger men and if so how did it go or how is it going?

 

i'll lay out two stereotypes that describes most attractive women in their 20s...

 

a) the 'good' girl who thinks that every date she goes on must lead to marriage and 2.5 kids and happily ever after.

 

b) the 'bad' girl who thinks she can get away with whatever drama she can feasibly cause because of her physical attractiveness.

 

men in their 20s who don't want marriage and kids don't really want to deal with either type. to them, they can have even longer term relationships with women in their 30s who are more sexually experienced, more mature, and less crazy on all counts than A or B above. it's a win/win.

 

here's the thing, ladies. the behavior that so many women exhibit that they have nothing to offer but a pair of boobs and a vagina is NOT attractive. that covers both the madonna and the 'whore'. one is trying to catch men with sex the other is trying to guard it like its her last dollar and she can only spend it once. neither is desirable.

[LittlePrince]

I have a very close friend who has been with her husband for 26 years. He is 9 years younger than she is. He was obsessed with her when we were all young; they got together and it stuck.

Yeah I saw the Sandlot Gang too.

 

I am also friends with another couple where the woman is TWENTY TWO YEARS older than the man!!! She is a spectacular woman (a professor, a renowned anthropologist, an author, completely captivating, etc.) I think she is one of the most compelling people I know; evidently her husband feels that way too.

Yet to have seen that sequel to Tomb Raider or did they gender bend Indy in one of the latest sequels?

 

And, clearly, our culture still promotes older man / younger women as being "normal," and the reverse being kind of … unusual.

I have yet to see this culture you speak of outside of the parts of the world who don't believe democracy is a viable option.

[manup]

i'll lay out two stereotypes that describes most attractive women in their 20s...

 

a) the 'good' girl who thinks that every date she goes on must lead to marriage and 2.5 kids and happily ever after.

 

b) the 'bad' girl who thinks she can get away with whatever drama she can feasibly cause because of her physical attractiveness.

 

men in their 20s who don't want marriage and kids don't really want to deal with either type. to them, they can have even longer term relationships with women in their 30s who are more sexually experienced, more mature, and less crazy on all counts than A or B above. it's a win/win.

 

here's the thing, ladies. the behavior that so many women exhibit that they have nothing to offer but a pair of boobs and a vagina is NOT attractive. that covers both the madonna and the 'whore'. one is trying to catch men with sex the other is trying to guard it like its her last dollar and she can only spend it once. neither is desirable.

this means I can't get either so I go for older women. You know it's true.

[Feelsgoodman]

I have read many posts of older men dating younger women, want women with no baggage, that once a woman passes 30 she is not desirable anymore. This is hogwash. Since single, I have been in many interesting conversations with young men, early 20s, while out, (gorgeous young men), and when I told them they were just babies, and I was in my thirties, this had no phase on them, seemed more of a wow factor, and they were even more interested. Not the slightest hint of ageism, hangups about women, and it was so refreshing to interact with such non judgemental men.

I have yet to take a chance with a man who is 20 or 21. Are there any women here who do date much younger men and if so how did it go or how is it going?

No offence, but young men usually want older women for one thing and one thing only: sex. Older women are perceived as easy (and they often are). Couples where the man is significantly younger than the woman are pretty damn rare. I hardly ever see such pairs out and about.

[Sugarkane]

I agree it's pretty rare to see a big age difference and a younger man last long. They rarely marry or have kids.

[ScreamingTrees]

I'd personally be open to this. I've already been propositioned by a 40 year old man and didn't even care.

 

To me, age is just a number. Despite the fact that these sorts of situations usually amounting to flings, I feel as though an older woman would have more in common with me and would probably be easier to have an interesting, open conversation with. If I enjoyed their company and found them attractive, I'd certainly be open to things.

 

Seems as though the few girls around my age that have shown interest in me happened to be two or three years older. And all of my friends have had a tendency to be older.. Don't know why, I guess they're just easier to talk to as I feel older mentally than I am physically.

[thatone]

this means I can't get either so I go for older women. You know it's true.

 

i'm 35, nice try

[melodymatters]

No offence, but young men usually want older women for one thing and one thing only: sex. Older women are perceived as easy (and they often are). Couples where the man is significantly younger than the woman are pretty damn rare. I hardly ever see such pairs out and about.

 

 

Maybe it's because it's not as screamingly obvious as one might think. I met my H at work; I thought he was around 30 give or take and he thought I was about 35 give or take. Not a big deal, so when our friendship " caught on fire" and became love, well it was far too late to care about numbers printed on our birth certificates.

 

He's 6'6, bearded, with prescription sunglasses, I'm 5'0, 100 lbs and look like a human version of Tinkerbell. He's actually in his 20's and i'm in my 40's, but together, people tend to focus on the size difference and if they DO see an age diff, they also assume it's only about 5 yrs.

 

HE proposed, he LOVES being married, saying " wife", wearing his wedding ring etc. So we are great and it is a wonderfully fun, supportive, best friend-y relationship.

 

The problem, as the OP stated in her ...well OP, is the negativity we get from OLDER GUYS once they know the truth !?!

 

MOST women are fine with it, younger guys are totally fine with it, my mother-in-law who is 5 yrs older than me is fine with it, but older guys.... They CONSTANTLY are trying to make my H feel like a kid, saying demeaning things as " jokes" and they can't WAIT to tell me that he'll leave me in a few years for a younger model. This happens constantly...

 

To me, the fact that it is PRIMARILY this demographic, says that there is a good amount of sour grapes, and feeling threatened that for the first time in American society they don't automatically "get me": I have other choices, and one of those choices is a hot, fun, young IN SHAPE guy who is madly in love with me and couldn't wait to marry me !

[Alma Mobley]

I always feel like one of the poster-women on LS who has had a successful relationship with an age-gap (younger man/older woman) with a few others. (I can think of only another two... and Melody is one of them.)

 

Are younger men curious about older women? Sure. That doesn't mean that each and every one of them won't develop a LTR with one.

 

My husband was 23 (and a half!) when I met him, and I had just turned 34. I didn't take the relationship that seriously at the time because I received much of the kind of advice that is given here -- like younger men are into the sex, would never want a relationship/babies, blah blah. But I am glad I gave him a chance, and no, he wasn't some loser who couldn't get women his own age, or something like that. He'd always been successful with women, but for whatever reason, he just liked me, and he really really liked me before he knew how old I was. (He thought I was around 28, I thought he was around 27 when we agreed to a date.)

 

But I did tell him my age and he was cool with it because... he just really, really liked me! I had more of a problem than he. And then when I wasn't taking the relationship that seriously (due to advice about the age gap), I suddenly realized he was taking it very seriously, and I was being a total b*th by NOT taking it seriously. That episode really shook me up, and that's when I decided to let things go and let whatever happen happen. Relationships end all the time for arbitrary reasons, so why not give that a chance.

 

Six years later, we're married and have a wonderful two-year-old boy. And WE ARE HAPPY. In the end, that is all that matters.

 

My only advice to those in age-gap relationships is to ask why they are there and if they are happy with that answer.

[jlola]

No offence, but young men usually want older women for one thing and one thing only: sex. Older women are perceived as easy (and they often are). Couples where the man is significantly younger than the woman are pretty damn rare. I hardly ever see such pairs out and about.

 

And many younger women want older man to be daddy substitute or for financial reasons. I always wonder why men who already have a family and in their 40's seek out women in their 20's who want to have kids. But they seek age over anything g,pretending they don"t want baggage when they have tons of it themselves.

 

 

I know a man who was 38. Already had 2 sons from previous marriage. Married a 21 year old right out of college. He seemed more impressed with her age then anything. She was goo-goo ga ga over him. A bit on the whacky side and I'm sure not a big hit with men her age. Anyway, 5 years later and 2 more kids, he looks like he aged 10 years. He makes jokes about the difficulties of raising another family.

 

 

 

But after her "honeymoon stage" is over. It usually does not take long for these young girls to go looking for younger men.

 

I live in LA and see a lot of this. My friend calls it recyclable money for youth.

older man marries younger women. they get divorced ,now women is a bit older, but has more money. She then goes and marries younger guy.

 

Larry King's wife was having an affair with 29 yr old gym teacher. Kendra Wilkenson, Kristie Hefner,the new fiance of Hugh(whatever her name was) all left Hugh Hefner and involved with men their age. Mariah Carey, camille Gramar and tons of others when they have their ONW money have younger men when they previously married older ones.

 

Men are not different than women. They will marry for security also. They just hold out for bigger amounts.

 

Most men and women will marry men their age. Women will especially when they are financially set. How many wealthy women marry much older men? Few. How many wealthy women marry much younger men? Many!!!

 

Not my style but I can say when they are financially stable, a much older man seems to be oddly off their radar.

[melodymatters]

I always feel like one of the poster-women on LS who has had a successful relationship with an age-gap (younger man/older woman) with a few others. (I can think of only another two... and Melody is one of them.)

 

 

..And Cee. Don't know if she's still around LS but we are FB friends and she is happily living with her BF of I believe 2 yrs now. ( I think he is 24 and she is 40).

 

I think both parties, the older woman and younger man both must share the characteristic of being comfortable outside of the crowd or box. They are not " laundry list" people, who need to check of a certain amount of boxes to feel they found a "proper" mate. If the energy and compatibility is there, they just DON'T care what mom, or their friends, or strangers at a bar really think about their most intimate relationship.

 

....And you know what ? I've ALWAYS preferred those kind of people anyway !

[FitChick]

I agree that there is the perception that older women/younger men pairings are rare because those women generally have to look a lot better than other women their age to snag a younger man (like an older man has to have more money to snag a younger woman). So that is why you may be staring at one of those couples but don't even know it.

 

An ex was eight years younger than I am, yet everyone thought he was about five years older. Why? He had gray hair, wrinkles and sun-damaged skin from playing tennis. I have none of those.

 

Now can we stop arguing about the older man/younger woman and the older woman/younger man? The playing field has been leveled!

[Alma Mobley]

..And Cee. Don't know if she's still around LS but we are FB friends and she is happily living with her BF of I believe 2 yrs now. ( I think he is 24 and she is 40).

 

I think both parties, the older woman and younger man both must share the characteristic of being comfortable outside of the crowd or box. They are not " laundry list" people, who need to check of a certain amount of boxes to feel they found a "proper" mate. If the energy and compatibility is there, they just DON'T care what mom, or their friends, or strangers at a bar really think about their most intimate relationship.

 

....And you know what ? I've ALWAYS preferred those kind of people anyway !

 

Yes, Melody, I was thinking of Cee.

 

I don't know, I just see so many people here on LS stereotyping these (our) relationships, and it's irksome. I know, and you know, that we went into these relationships with all parties knowing what was going on, and how it was going to be perceived.

 

I remember calling my father to tell him I'd gotten engaged, and oh yeah, that nice, wonderful guy you met.... he's 10 years younger than I am. And then my 70-year-old dad said, "Well, they say that men die at about an average rate of seven years earlier than women, so you're good."

[FitChick]

my 70-year-old dad said, "Well, they say that men die at about an average rate of seven years earlier than women, so you're good."

 

This is a very real consideration for me and one of the main reasons I date younger. I made an exception once for someone older but only because his mother was approaching 100 so I figured the odds would be better!

[Woggle]

I am married to an older woman so of course I have no issue with it but it would be a turn off if I felt like she was doing it just to prove a point to society. I would feel the same way I felt when I was dating a black woman who seemed to just want to piss off black men. My wife married me for me and not because of my age and that is why it works. Relationships based on fetishism whether it be age, race or any reason other than the individual people rarely work.

 

Also with the way some women are living these days I think that the dying at older age than men thing will even out.

[marilla]

depends on the culture you live in. In some countries it is not strange. in other countries it is weird. I am not saying that a younger man will never be interested seriously in an older woman-it does happen. But most of the times a man wanting a family and kids will pick a younger woman. A woman before 35 is fine i guess but after 35 i don't think so-they would go for younger. A woman in her early thirties is still young to have kids but after 35 you are in the danger zone.

[melodymatters]

I am married to an older woman so of course I have no issue with it but it would be a turn off if I felt like she was doing it just to prove a point to society. I would feel the same way I felt when I was dating a black woman who seemed to just want to piss off black men. My wife married me for me and not because of my age and that is why it works. Relationships based on fetishism whether it be age, race or any reason other than the individual people rarely work.

 

Also with the way some women are living these days I think that the dying at older age than men thing will even out.

 

....One more thing, before my MAN and I go to see the Avengers again, this time in 3-D though I totally agree it should not be a "fetish" and I believe it seldom is in " real relationships" as opposed to flings .

 

There is one poster here who repeatedly states that on the part of the older partner it is always some hopeless quest to recapture ones youth. That's SO simplistic, and frankly in my experiences, wrong. I am well aware of my age, if anything MORE so because of my marriage to a younger man. We joke about it quite often, though in day to day life it is beyond a non issue.

 

Now if someone wanted to call me " immature" in that except for more money and a better house/car, I have a lot of the same interests I did 20 yrs ago, and haven't changed my lifestyle all that much. THAT I could agree with. Some people are free spirits and others are old souls, and sometimes they meet in the middle....

 

I've never been gay or in an interracial relationship, but it seems that sometimes if society is that much against you, it makes you hold onto and appreciate what is truly meaningful and precious all the more !

[Woggle]

I know it is real in many cases but I had been a few dates with older women before I met my wife and honestly I had written them off before her because I felt like they were just trying to prove some kind of point. I felt like I was being used in order for them to get back at society and I wanted no part of it. Also they constantly bashed men who dated younger women so they were hypocrites.

 

If it is for the right reasons though there could be advantages to dating an older women. In many cases they are sure a lot less drama.

[FitChick]

I am not saying that a younger man will never be interested seriously in an older woman-it does happen. But most of the times a man wanting a family and kids will pick a younger woman.

 

I think that is one reason it's more acceptable these days. Fewer and fewer people want to have kids. There isn't the same societal pressure as years ago. People are more accepting of other people's choices.

[Ruby Slippers]

[/b]

 

 

Maybe it's because it's not as screamingly obvious as one might think. I met my H at work; I thought he was around 30 give or take and he thought I was about 35 give or take. Not a big deal, so when our friendship " caught on fire" and became love, well it was far too late to care about numbers printed on our birth certificates.

 

He's 6'6, bearded, with prescription sunglasses, I'm 5'0, 100 lbs and look like a human version of Tinkerbell. He's actually in his 20's and i'm in my 40's, but together, people tend to focus on the size difference and if they DO see an age diff, they also assume it's only about 5 yrs.

 

HE proposed, he LOVES being married, saying " wife", wearing his wedding ring etc. So we are great and it is a wonderfully fun, supportive, best friend-y relationship.

 

The problem, as the OP stated in her ...well OP, is the negativity we get from OLDER GUYS once they know the truth !?!

 

MOST women are fine with it, younger guys are totally fine with it, my mother-in-law who is 5 yrs older than me is fine with it, but older guys.... They CONSTANTLY are trying to make my H feel like a kid, saying demeaning things as " jokes" and they can't WAIT to tell me that he'll leave me in a few years for a younger model. This happens constantly...

 

To me, the fact that it is PRIMARILY this demographic, says that there is a good amount of sour grapes, and feeling threatened that for the first time in American society they don't automatically "get me": I have other choices, and one of those choices is a hot, fun, young IN SHAPE guy who is madly in love with me and couldn't wait to marry me !

You are so awesome.