boomerangg Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 Hey guys. Just found this site and hope you can help. I broke up with my girlfriend about a week ago. It was kind of a strange situation. She was engaged about three years ago, which she ultimately broke off. Her ex then got very sick and passed away from cancer within a year of their engagement ending. Some family attributed that illness to stress caused by the breakup. She hasn't really had much of a relationship since. I think she's dated but nothing has gotten serious. I was the longest she's had since(about 6 months). Well, we ran into some of his family while we're were out and she broke down during dinner. She's still affected by that situation and I was well aware of it, but was trying to give her support and security to work through it. We went back to her place and had what I thought was a good conversation for a few hours about lots of different deep stuff and out of the blue she basically stated something was really important that we just talked about and had conflicting views on (politics, which I don't especially care about). I kind of asked what happens now and she didn't say much, so I basically got upset and asked if we were breaking up and she continued to say nothing. I figured all she had to say was 'no' if it wasn't what she wanted. So we talked the next day and we both thought we broke up and I asked if that's what she wanted because I know she was upset, and she said she didn't know what she wants. She wanted to take a step back in the relationship, but I don't see the point. Either you're in or you're out, I guess. We talked for a while and ended the conversation by me telling her I'm going to assume we're broken up until she decides what she wants and I'm going to work on healing so I'm not in limbo. It hurts too much for me otherwise. We talked a couple days later because we were going to be meeting mutual friends and I told her I hope she realized how much she hurt me and that I hope she wasn't thinking things were just fine because I hadn't been blowing up her phone. I didn't know what to say, and we had to talk before we saw each other. Otherwise it would have been weird with our friends. She said the last few days had been hard and she didn't think the breakup was what she wanted. I basically ignored that because we didn't have a lot of time to talk and I didn't want to pressure her into a decision. Should I be doing anything or just continue to sit back and let her deal on her own? I don't want to be ignoring her or playing a game, but I feel like the ball is in her court and there's nothing I can do.
Author boomerangg Posted May 28, 2012 Author Posted May 28, 2012 Thanks RedMercury... Does anybody else have any input?
Balzac Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 She's not really available. Grab your self esteem and run. You cannot be her psychiatrist.
Tiera D Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 agree with balzac,u can still be there helping her,but in a remote distance let her know ur there whenever she needs u but never be always available..mean time go NC TD
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