ThomasDelGato Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 So I've never been much of a relationship type. I've been very promiscuous for my whole life basically, which I don't think is necessarily a bad thing. I've gotten into a relationship lately, for the past three months to be exact, and I have deep feelings for my significant other. I really do enjoy her, she's great. Although I can't help but feel DEEP feelings of lust for plenty of other women regularly, and I find myself fighting off the urge to get with them constantly. Even now, as I write this, there's nothing more I'd like to do than go have my way with her best friend, or any of these other ladies that I meet daily, that I know for a fact I could. The only thing stopping me, is her. I don't think open relationships ever work. My lady also isn't down with having a third person in bed. What do you all think? Is three months into the relationship too soon to be lusting so hard? If it adds anything, I'm finding her WAY less attractive as time goes on as well. She DID gain like, 20 pounds since we started dating, which is upsetting, but not fundamental. I find her less attractive now than ever, and that is certainly a part of it.
veggirl Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 Damn, she gained 20lbs in 3 months? That's a lot! It doesn't sound like you are ready for a relationship. Why not just be single? Let her go now, while it's still early and she shouldn't be TOO attached--it'll only get worse the more you string her along, doesn't sound like your desires for other women are going away anytime soon. And her best friend? Really? are you just attracted to ANY woman that is decent looking? 1
Author ThomasDelGato Posted May 26, 2012 Author Posted May 26, 2012 Yeah, 20 lbs in three months. It's a ton. She still looks good, I'm just not as drawn to her anymore. I don't know that I want to let her go because I feel like we have something very special, but I see your point. Thanks for the reply! Not exactly, but I had seen her friend around town a few times before we had started dating but never made any moves. Probably a really good thing now, haha.
udolipixie Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 Sexual attraction to and wanting to have sex with others while in a relationship is common most likely your girlfriend has guys she find attractive or more attractive than you and wants to have sex with. Though I doubt many have to fight off the urge to act on this attraction. People getting less attractive over time is also common so if you have to fight off the urge to sleep with others when this occurs in a relationship it's probably best suited not to be in a relationship. As you've never been much of a relationship type,very promiscuous, and find it upsetting that your partner becomes less attractive it's probably best suited to dump the girlfriend and pursue open relationships, NSA, FWB, and booty calls that way there isn't anything stopping you from acting on your lust.
Negative Nancy Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 I've gotten into a relationship lately, for the past three months to be exact, and I have deep feelings for my significant other. I really do enjoy her, she's great. Although I can't help but feel DEEP feelings of lust for plenty of other women regularly, and I find myself fighting off the urge to get with them constantly. don't worry, you are completely normal. one woman will never be enough for any man out there, pretty much all men fantasize about banging other chicks, be it their exes, their neighbors, their co-workers, their girlfriend's best friend, sister, mother, aunt or niece. women cannot expect the same loyalty they give to a man in return.
joystickd Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 don't worry, you are completely normal. one woman will never be enough for any man out there, pretty much all men fantasize about banging other chicks, be it their exes, their neighbors, their co-workers, their girlfriend's best friend, sister, mother, aunt or niece. women cannot expect the same loyalty they give to a man in return. Bitterness + generalized statements = a person not based in reality. Join everyone else in the real world. Bitterness is so unbecoming of any person. Be positive its great. 2
Negative Nancy Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 Bitterness + generalized statements = a person not based in reality. I think it's YOU who is not living in the real world. Maybe you should educate yourself and catch up with latest science findings instead of talking about things you clearly have no clue about. Can Positive Thinking Be Negative?: Scientific American
udolipixie Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 don't worry, you are completely normal. one woman will never be enough for any man out there, pretty much all men fantasize about banging other chicks, be it their exes, their neighbors, their co-workers, their girlfriend's best friend, sister, mother, aunt or niece. women cannot expect the same loyalty they give to a man in return. Possibly right about the normal bit as sexual attraction to and wanting to sleep with others is pretty common for people in relationships from my experiences. Likely wrong about the gals can't expect the same loyalty they give to a guy in return as that's working on the assumption that gals in general don't fantasize about banging other guys. Most likely gals don't fantasize about others as much or as into detail as guys do.
kaylan Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 3 months is too soon...maybe your just not the kind of guy who can commit to one girl. I dont think your past slutiness has anything to do with that though. Some guys can commit, some cant. I have a friend who can slut it up with the best of them, but when hes in a relationship, hes focused solely on one girl. I say break up with your gf and go have fun. It appears thats the life you want.
udolipixie Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 Bitterness + generalized statements = a person not based in reality. Join everyone else in the real world. Bitterness is so unbecoming of any person. Be positive its great. Bit telling that you bypass the OP to make what seems to be two insults about a person and absolutely amusing to me considering the 'be positive it's great'
kaylan Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 PS - Jesus...20 pounds already? 3 months is a little too soon to be letting oneself go. If you do want to be with her, Id suggest you try and encourage her to get fit with you in the gym or something. Maybe itll raise your attraction for her.
joystickd Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 I think it's YOU who is not living in the real world. Maybe you should educate yourself and catch up with latest science findings instead of talking about things you clearly have no clue about. Can Positive Thinking Be Negative?: Scientific American I have a well balanced view of the world. Its you that has an unhealthy view of men. Therapist can help immensely with those issues 1
joystickd Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 Bit telling that you bypass the OP to make what seems to be two insults about a person and absolutely amusing to me considering the 'be positive it's great' I know its great right. Need the source to those studies though. Oh! I'm not letting that go
Negative Nancy Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 Therapist can help immensely with those issues Therapists have clearly failed with helping you to overcome your OCD with sticking your nose into other people's business and handing out unwanted "advise".
udolipixie Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 I know its great right. Need the source to those studies though. Oh! I'm not letting that go I did cite sources just not to you.
kaylan Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 joystick...dude...dont even get into it with the resident negative folk on this site. Its a fruitless path. Let haters keep on hating if they want to. Dont concern yourself with their pessimistic and bitter view of the world.
joystickd Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 I did cite sources just not to you. So you didnt cite them at all then:lmao:. You lmao because its fun to pull stuff out of ____. Next time try doing a kitchen sink.
joystickd Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 joystick...dude...dont even get into it with the resident negative folk on this site. Its a fruitless path. Let haters keep on hating if they want to. Dont concern yourself with their pessimistic and bitter view of the world. I know but its gets annoying these bitter people. They down everything and then try to spread the hate around. It not even injecting anything of value into these threads
Imajerk17 Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 So I've never been much of a relationship type. I've been very promiscuous for my whole life basically, which I don't think is necessarily a bad thing. I've gotten into a relationship lately, for the past three months to be exact, and I have deep feelings for my significant other. I really do enjoy her, she's great. Although I can't help but feel DEEP feelings of lust for plenty of other women regularly, and I find myself fighting off the urge to get with them constantly. Even now, as I write this, there's nothing more I'd like to do than go have my way with her best friend, or any of these other ladies that I meet daily, that I know for a fact I could. The only thing stopping me, is her. I don't think open relationships ever work. My lady also isn't down with having a third person in bed. What do you all think? Is three months into the relationship too soon to be lusting so hard? If it adds anything, I'm finding her WAY less attractive as time goes on as well. She DID gain like, 20 pounds since we started dating, which is upsetting, but not fundamental. I find her less attractive now than ever, and that is certainly a part of it. I agree with veggirl--20 pounds in 3 months is a lot. Doesn't she work out? My answer might be a tad biased, as I am attracted to women who take care of themselves physically. I definitely don't mind if a woman is "curvy", but gaining so much weight in such a short time might be attributed to "letting herself go".
joystickd Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 Therapists have clearly failed with helping you to overcome your OCD with sticking your nose into other people's business and handing out unwanted "advise". Public forum if you don't like it then don't respond or learn to actually inject something of some value other than negativity. To the OP its cool to feel lust for other women just don't act on it if you are in a relationship.
Negative Nancy Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 Public forum if you don't like it then don't respond Likewise
joystickd Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 Likewise best thing put me on ignore. It would be great for you
udolipixie Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 So you didnt cite them at all then:lmao:. You lmao because its fun to pull stuff out of ____. Next time try doing a kitchen sink. I did privately cite them sending messages to others. I didn't publicly cite them just to poke at dasein and certain others.
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