idontknow12 Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 Hello, I was dating this girl for almost two years now. We are both 20 this year, we always had feelings for each other ever since we met in school when we were 14-15 years old. We had "dated" before for 10 months at 15 years old but I was too young and did not know what I was doing and just wanted to do my own thing kind of, basically it was too much for me at that age. We stopped talking for almost 4 years even though we went to the same high school together etc. etc. I think in total she's been with like 6 or 7 guys up until now. I have only dated one other girl for 5 months. We started dating again at 18 and this time it was really great. We had always loved each other. However at first I did not put in as much effort as she did into the relationship but never intended on hurting her and just didn't realize it back then. She did a lot for me and I feel like i took her love for granted. I love her and always did but our second year I tried to contact my ex girlfriend a couple of times; I just wanted to catch up with her, it was never my intention to get back with her, i simply wanted to catch up (i know it was wrong but i just didn't think about the consequences). Now my girlfriend found out that I tried to contact her and wanted to meet up with my ex and obviously got mad and broke up with me instantly back in December. During this time I realized that i messed up and i should have never tried to contact my ex, but I'm human and i made mistakes and learned from them. I pretty much begged my girlfriend to stay and told her that I would never try to contact my ex again (and i honestly don't ever want to see her again and ill be fine with that) but i just couldn't lose my girlfriend. After about a month she came back to me but told me that it was not gonna be the same she felt like she put in too much effort and now wasn't willing to put in the effort again and also just didn't trust me. From Jan. up until now I did everything I could to make her happy and tried to put in as much effort into the relationship as I possibly could. I just wanted to pay her back for all that she did for me and the times that she truly loved me. But she was right it was very different, now she wasn't putting in the effort and that frustrated me a lot. I just wanted both of us to be in love like we once were (first year). She would never say i love you/miss you, she would never call me or text me (most of the time) if I didn't do it first. Right after my birthday this past april she completely stopped talking to me and wouldn't pick up my calls and just make up excuses on why she couldn't even see me. This whole year I have been nothing but the best I could be, I was everything she once wanted me to be. She broke up with me last week and said that she needed space and she's just not willing to put in the effort and that we're never on schedule with each other. Its frustrating to see it end like this because I actually really care about her and love her and once i finally gave her my all this is when she decides to leave. She said she'll always love me but doesn't want breaks she just wants to be alone. I know i made mistakes; i tried to contact my ex but never actually saw her in person since my girlfriend and I been together. I just want her back, i really love her, and am willing to do anything to prove to her that we'd be good together. Does she just need time for herself? Is it possible that she'll reconsider? Should I stop messaging/calling her and just give her the space she wants? She really loved me at one point and I did too I was just stuck on the past I guess and wasn't fair to her in terms of putting equal effort into the relationship up until our last break up in December. Thats when i came to my senses, changed and tried to be the best i can... please help. sorry for the long history
PegNosePete Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 Dude she has dumped you. And to be honest, doesn't sound like she has really been into you for a long time. You need to move on.
LostInLimbo Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 Feel for you and you may not like what I have to say, as I am not trying to be mean, once you contacted your Ex even though you know its wrong now, I hate to say it, that I feel is what crumbled your foundation that your relationship was built on.. Many may disagree here with me on this next piece, even if things worked out and you both stayed together, do you think the trust will be there? it may always play in the back of minds, and put such a strain on the relationship, that it most likely would crumble again... Best of luck, I feel for you, I to am going through a breakup of 4 months from getting married... LiL
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