joe1990 Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 In most cases, women play the friends card as an easy way out. But in some cases, women are actually sincere about wanting to be friends. Why would they do that? Isn't it uncomfortable to be friends with a guy who wants more?
TheFinalWord Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 But in some cases, women are actually sincere about wanting to be friends. They are? Could of fooled me!
Sid6.7 Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 In most cases, women play the friends card as an easy way out. But in some cases, women are actually sincere about wanting to be friends. Why would they do that? Isn't it uncomfortable to be friends with a guy who wants more? Because they know if they ever get desperate, you will be the fall guy that will be slovenly waiting to slurp up their desperation.
somedude81 Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 Frankly, I wish that they wouldn't. My guess is that they try to pretend that the guy doesn't like them. I certainly wouldn't be friends with a girl that liked me, when I didn't feel the same way about her.
Stupid Girl Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 There could be a multitude of reasons. You could be co-workers who have to work closely together. You could have mutual friends, or hang out in the same group. You could have had a genuine friendship first, and the guy developed feelings for you later. You could genuinely have no idea the guy has feelings for you. My general understanding is, if you're at least an average-looking girl, a lot of the men you interact with will be attracted to you. This is obviously only intensified for more attractive girls. So should attractive females not have straight male friends?
RiverRunning Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 In most cases, women play the friends card as an easy way out. But in some cases, women are actually sincere about wanting to be friends. Why would they do that? Isn't it uncomfortable to be friends with a guy who wants more? It is. I was friends with an internship mentor long after my internship ended. He was a genuinely interesting guy. I had no idea he was in a relationship until his girlfriend died - he was a wreck through the rest of my internship and rarely showed up to work, given the circumstances. About six months after her death, that was when the gears of our friendship really started to change and he became more and more and more personal with me. During our last meeting, he described the 'perfect' guy for me - who happened to sound, rather suspiciously, like him. It got to a point where I knew that our friendship had crossed the lines of being proper. If I tried to shoot him down, I knew he would take it horribly and that any relationship we had would continue to sour. I also knew it was very likely he would continue trying to interfere, if even only passive-aggressively, in the relationship that I was in at the time. He still tries to contact me and it has been almost 1 1/2 years since we last spoke. I miss his friendship, but ultimately being friends with someone I knew to be interested in me just couldn't work.
WhiteChocolate Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 My guy friend and I have mutual friends. We went on a group spring break trip a few months ago (we're college kids) and ended up sharing a bed and making out for a few nights no sex bad boundaries on my part. I knew he had been crushing on me and I don't really know why I did it. Call me a cold-hearted girl but I'll admit I did lead him on. Emotionally though I felt nothing. He asked me out a few days after the trip. We had a short, but frank talk about how I think a relationship between us won't work, and how he'll have to accept that or we can't be friends. He took my stance rather well (impressed me and made me value him more as a person and a friend!) and we're good friends to this day.
antineutrino Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 I certainly wouldn't be friends with a girl that liked me, when I didn't feel the same way about her. Agreed. I had this happen to me recently and it was very irritating/uncomfortable for me (it created a lopsided 'friendship') -- I ignored her, and then it eventually got to the point where she was messaging me with creepy stalker-like behavior. At that point I just had to be blunt. Although that was an extreme case, the experience gave me an appreciation for how a girl might feel in the same situation. Really opened my eyes to the whole mantra of giving someone space. I suppose the situation would have been somewhat different if we were actually good friends from the start though.
phineas Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 If the guy can move on & date other's then he can't be crushing on her that badly. But, if she knows the guy is crushing on her & he is ignoring other women for her because she's letting him think one day it might happen? Well, I've known women like this. their selfish & delusional because their like 40. what are they doing? keeping the guy around until their 50 & guys no longer want to use her for sex? LOL! I stopped knowing these women once I figured out who they were.
Justsouno Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 Several come to mind You like the guy as a "person" You hang with the same friends You know his family You have known him for a long time You value your friendship You make her feel good You work with him You think he is a great guy He treats you with respect You trust him You like/love him You have a special place in her heart
Quiet Storm Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 It strokes her ego and makes her feel special, that's why. 1
starla33 Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 In most cases, women play the friends card as an easy way out. But in some cases, women are actually sincere about wanting to be friends. Why would they do that? Isn't it uncomfortable to be friends with a guy who wants more? To be honest 90% or even more of guys that are friends with girls want more...that is just how it is. There is always one person that has a crush on the other or finds them attractive.
mortensorchid Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 I don't understand that myself. I hate that line "I want us to be friends" because it's overused and tacky and trite. Then what's funny, you attempt to be friends with the other party, and they treat you like they just caught you robbing a bank or something. However the saying "if you can't be lovers you can't be friends" saying is also true, more than you would like to think it is. Bottom line : It's a classic cop out, that's why it's still around.
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