AshleeLyn94 Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 Ok so I am 18 and my boyfriend is 19. My parents don't like him and I don't know why. I have asked them, but they can never give me a straight answer. He doesn't do drugs, doesn't smoke, drink, never hit me or yelled at me, he's never cheated. Iv been with him for 2 years. Well I got my report card and I had two D's now my dad is yelling at me, saying it's my boyfriends fault. Iv never been good in school and i was out for a whole week sick so i missed alot, but he is saying I have to break up with my boyfriend because of my grades. Well my boyfriend works on oil wells so make pretty good money, family business, so he is trying to buy a good house for us. I don't know what to do about my dad. I don't want to leave my little brother alone to deal with him, but I feel like I can't stay here anymore. Please help!!
pteromom Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 Maybe it's not about your boyfriend at all. Maybe it is about who you become with him. Have you dropped other friends? Do you spend less time with your family? Have you given up on hobbies and interests? Do you spend every free second with your boyfriend? If you've changed how you interact with your family, or changed who you are for your boyfriend, that could be why your family doesn't like your relationship with him. When you say you can't leave your brother alone with your dad, what does that mean? Is your dad abusive? How much longer will you be in school? What are your plans after you graduate? I understand wanting to get out, but would caution you against moving in with your boyfriend at 18. Do you have a job? Could you move in with a friend in a roommate situation? I would spend some time on your own before living with a guy.
Author AshleeLyn94 Posted May 25, 2012 Author Posted May 25, 2012 Yes iv changed. Iv stop going out to parties and drinking. I use to cut myself but he has changed me for the better. I'm a senior in high school. I have plans on going to college in the fall for massage therapy. He has helped me through all the tough times when my family had nothing to do with me. I have better friends, only go out once a week back at my parents house before midnight like they asked never been late. I have a job now. No my dad isn't abusive he just makes little remarks and comments that are unnessasary and hurts people feelings. I use to stay locked in my room or I would never be home but now I'm home when Im not working. Iv changed for the better even my grandparents say so. My grandparents love the new me, cause I'm not always sad or drunk. So I dont know.
pteromom Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 In that case, you gotta just let them have their feelings, and do what you feel is right for you. Listen to what they have to say, and consider it, but you are an adult now, and you need to make your own choices. Maybe your parents just see that you are getting ready to flee the nest, and they are having an emotional reaction which isn't based on logic. Be kind to them. Stay close to your grandparents - they sound like great people! I am happy to hear you have a job and you are going to college to make a career for yourself. Hold onto both of those things. Set your life up in a way where you are self-reliant. It's great to have a boyfriend who loves you, but if you get your education and set yourself up to have your own accounts, your own credit score, your own friends, your own stuff, you will always have every option open to you. You said you are a senior, so are you graduating this year, or next year? If you are graduating in 2013, I would try to stick it out with your parents until you graduate. Try to do better at school so that your dad doesn't have anything to complain about. 1
pteromom Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 Do you have any employed friends who might want to share an apartment with you?
pink_sugar Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 You know my H's parents were like that with him about me. They blamed ME because they thought he wasn't doing his chores as well or that he was forgetting things or didn't have as much money. They said it was because of OUR relationship and basically gave the impression I was influencing him in a bad way. I was 16, he was 22. The way I think of it is, he is an adult. He is responsible for whether or not he's doing his chores, not me. That is an issue they need to discuss with him, not me. His financial issues were really none of their business (he was an adult with a job). My dad did the same thing. I got a D- in ONE class and he blamed it on my H, then boyfriend. That is MY error, not my boyfriend's error. I didn't balance time between work, school and boyfriend. My dad made me take summer school even though I technically passed the class. Anyways, it sounds like my situation. Your parents dislike him for no good reason like my dad dislikes my husband for no good reason. You may want to talk to your parents and say something like "I know I haven't been getting very good grades lately and I am responsible for that, maybe I need to manage my time better. But (insert name) treats me very well and he is the one I am planning to share my life with right now. I will work hard to improve my grades." You are 18, you make your decisions. Don't break up with your boyfriend because your dad wants you to.
abc00poonam Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 I think you should spend a time with your father like go for the movie park shopping etc. Then u should ask your father what he is not like your boyfriend good luck dear.....
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