pathetic1999 Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 We were together 2.5 years. He is younger than me by almost 10 years but couldn't wait to get married to me talked about it all the time named our child, etc. so sweet crazy in love etc. We had so much in common, a great connection everyone could see it. Then one day about a month ago he woke up and said I don't think I can do this, for two weeks I can't get the thought out of my head that I can't take on this responsibility I am not sure I want to get married soon to have kids etc. I said no one said we had to do it right now! He started to freak out, he said we met too soon, etc. (he's almost 27). then he took it back 12 hours later, but for two weeks he acted weird until I brought it back up again and he said he wanted a two week break just to clear his head but he was still all lovey with me saying we were not breaking up just taking some space before the big event..which I was unhappy about but gave. He kept texting me thru the whole break, we met with my therapist after a week and a a half and he said he needed more time yet the night before he was talking about us getting married still! So the next night I told him I was letting him off the hook breaking up with myself because it was what he wanted, since he told me he that he wasn't sure if he was with me because he was afraid to hurt me or because it was best for us. I didn't hear from him, so 5 days later I emailed him and said I didn't feel resolved and did he feel he could decide if he had more time did I jump the gun, etc. He replied back he's in love with me so much and he is miserable without me, he has had such a hard time not contacting me and thinks of me every day but he has to get his head on straight he's so confused about his entire life and he thinks this is best for us. He doesn't think I should wait for him because it will be months before he has his life figured out and even then he doesn't see us at a point of ever getting back together, he told my therapist that he's 99% sure he is done but he told me he doesn't see us together so I wouldn't be hurt again if he comes out of this "finding himself" not wanting to be with me and he has no idea how long it will take, but he's deeply in love with me and miserable without me. ...He said it kills him to admit it but he's not ready or able to be what is required to make our relationship work (even though he did for 2.5 years). I am so confused and shocked by this, He was confused at the beginning of the two weeks saying he just needed space to be himself and think (and wouldn't let me take any of my stuff from his house and kept saying we were NOT breaking up) and now he's 99% sure he's out but he's deeply in love with me?? He was crying on the phone with me and with the therapist in her office. He's not faking the emotion and he sounds very clear that he knows he's done. But how can he be when he's so in love and just scared or? We were the perfect couple this was so out of the blue. Its been NC for 18 days and Broken up for 23 days now he hasn't even tried once to contact me. He said he would send my stuff but still hasn't, I can get a friend to go get it but why hasn't he sent it? I am spinning. I miss him so much, he was my best friend and I was his. He said he lost his independence and has to figure himself out and where his head is at. I read about GIGS but as far as I know he isn't with anyone else and even said he doesn't think he's ready for a relationship at all. I am crushed. I won't contact him because I have to heal I know this but it's so hard...has anyone ever had someone come back from what is essentially cold feet and just overall not being ready??
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