gmoore Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 Here Is a conversation that I found that was between my Ex Ex GF after we broke up & I went into NC for a solid period of time & really worked on myself only to ultimately realize that the relationship was abusive and unhealthy at it's best. But what I want you all to notice is that even though I totally screwed up on many occasions in the weeks after our break-up by begging pleading & groveling once I went into full NC and got right with myself she really REALLY wanted back in my life. At a point I knew I didn't want to be with her anymore so I tried to be cordial and didn't stick to full NC and she still wanted me back. Here it is: X The heart is the strongest muscle October 12, X You ignore me like I am a stranger. Pity. Would be nice to chat once in a while. Although I know typing can cause the delicate carpal tunnel. October 13, X Hey I have a quick question for you. Did you ever or do you think that cheated on you? October 14, Me uhhhh? did you? that's kind of random... October 14, X no I didn't and apparently people think I did and that , that is why we broke up. This just recently came to my attention. Like last night recently. I didn't want to ask you but it kinda hurt hearing that. And I was afraid that you thought that. October 14, X This is totally unrelated but, I still want to take you out on a date sometime. If you would but let me. October 15, X Oh come on... October 16, X you know i want to see you. do you want me to not come on saturday? i dont get much of a response fro you. i want to be able to go to newfane with you i miss the time we spent having fun. tell me if i am just a pain in the ass. October 17, X i know you go on here and dont answer me. its ok. i want to go tomorrow and not feel awkward. whats so bad about answering my phone calls. i wish you would forgive me for all or at least some of the pain i had caused you. you are always in m thoughts. October 17, X i love you October 18, Me i apologize for somewhat avoiding you. i don't think things should be awkward just don't be awkward. i'm not angry with you and i'm not holding a grudge against you. you did what you had to do and i understand and accept that. i am enjoying my life the way it is right now, single. not that i don't want to date, or haven't dated, it's just i don't feel that after everything we've gone through together it would appropriate for us to go on a "date". the past is the past and you and i have repeated it, i can't in good conscience go on a date with you. and thank you for letting me know that you care. i care for you dearly as well but you should relax and try not to worry about things so much. well, i'm of to write a paper about the house of the rising sun. Do you see what is happening here? My lack of interest is maddening to her. I didn't want to hurt her but I was over her and I wasn't entirely sure how to handle it. This is in the middle of over 150 messages that she sent me after she broke no contact. We never will get back together but I truly feel like I could have if that is the path I wanted to take. I wanted to move on be with someone new and I eventually met my current ex with whom I had in my opinion(& hers according to her) a very good relationship. We are taking space right now but reading through those emails reminded me of what I have to do and that is work on myself. She'll come around when she's ready. If you were good to her and you were good together she will come back for you. I just wanted to share that. it is not an example to follow it is just for you to see that things do come back around if you let them & when that happens YOU get to choose what your next move is.
Gulf-Delta Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 This can only bring hope if your circumstances are similar. If your ex couldn't give two ****s about you, doesn't think about you, doesn't love you, is hapy in a life without you, all this generates is false hope and more pain.
Author gmoore Posted May 25, 2012 Author Posted May 25, 2012 ok, provided that you had at least an OK or even a less than good relationship there is still the possibility of reconciliation. I admit that this is only my experience & my story but thought others might like to hear it and even see the exchange. Ultimately what I'm saying is do good for yourself and good things will come. Take care of #1.
Gulf-Delta Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 ok, provided that you had at least an OK or even a less than good relationship there is still the possibility of reconciliation. I admit that this is only my experience & my story but thought others might like to hear it and even see the exchange. Ultimately what I'm saying is do good for yourself and good things will come. Take care of #1. Aye, but like I mentioned in a different thread of mine, we had a perfect relationship. However my ex never gets in touch with me. We have a big history and hell she could think of me everyday. But she has someone new, and if she does miss me or anything, she sure isn't showing any signs of it.
Author gmoore Posted May 25, 2012 Author Posted May 25, 2012 I'm sorry Gulf, I feel for you. How long has it been? Sorry to hijack this thread.
Gulf-Delta Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 (edited) I'm sorry Gulf, I feel for you. How long has it been? Sorry to hijack this thread. Well, we broke up at the end of January, but still hung out everyday as friends. She legitimately wanted to be freinds, but in mid April, I told her I couldn't handle that friendship because I still loved her and still had hopes for us...so we parted ways and I went NC, telling her it wouldn't be forever. She has respected my wishes for NC, and I'm glad, but I've broken it recently with the hopes that she'd wanna resume friendship. But she turned down a one on one meeting as friends. I got really upset because I didn't want a date or anything, I just wanted to catch up and see her again. I messaged her on facebook saying how when she left me, and went for someone else, I felt betrayed and hurt. I told her I wanted to be friends and didn't wanna be replaced as the man who cared for her health, safety, and well being. How I felt lied to, and how no matter what, I want her to know I think she's a special person, and I don't want her to forget. She sent me back this I never once lied about the way I was feeling or what I believed at the time, and never will. I will always stay true to myself, and I am still the same person. I am just in a different stage of life right now. I would love to stay your friend, but you need to understand I am busy with my new job, school, etc. Just because I don't talk with you much doesn't mean I am ignoring you or pushing you away. I am dating someone new. That doesn't mean I've replaced you. It's something new, entirely different from us. I do know the real you, and you me. This means I think you should understand what is going on. Hope you are doing well, and that you start feeling better about all this soon! I really don't know what any of that means. I never got any answers as to WHY she left, or what I did to make her leave, if she ever intends to come back, or talk to me again, etc. I never got any answers, and I guess it's because she probably doesn't have them either. She's being selfish as all hell, but my heart is saying "no one's perfect, she;s making a mistake, be there like you always have been for her". She's been very nice and civil about all of this and all of my pestering her. Don't know if you read my other thread, but it explains why I can't let go of hope...kinda explains the whole story http://www.loveshack.org/forums/off-topic/personal-rants-confessions/327790-im-still-love-her Edited May 25, 2012 by Gulf-Delta
Insanityshorse Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 Personally I like that OP. I think that applies to my situation exactly. My ex and I, according to her as well had the best relationship of our lives. No fighting, well maybe once in a year or so, no betrayal, constant communication and love, and physically we were the most compatible of anyone either of us has ever been with, and we are both 30. She is busy with school right now, and I am unemployed looking for work. She has NO desire to be with anyone else, and is not the kind of girl that just has 'fun' with people. I think this is exactly what will happen with us. We take some space, work on ourselves and I fully expect we'll reconcile with time. Geez she's already told me that she wants to invite me out in a couple weeks when she's done with school for the summer. Today is day 9 of NC for us, not out of design but just because we're both strong people and right now I think we're just resetting. We were always great to each other, love each other very much, and for just right now the timing was a bit off.
EmergenC Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 How long exactly were you guys apart before she got in touch ?
Tiera D Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 once u show her more interest she might probably become cold again,mine did that..i dont believe in second chances anymore TD
Recommended Posts