water4150 Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 So there was this girl I was talking to for quite some time... All the clues were hot and made it seem like everything was going great. And that there would be a high possibility of us getting together. During finals we studied together and got really close. After last day of final we went to the bar with mutual friends and we hooked up. We acted as if we were a couple holding hands etc. Lot of kisses were exchanged. Few days later we went to campus for some reason. We huged and kissed goodbye and when I was driving in front of her we were making kissy faces at each other and stuff like that. Now last night...Things fliped and she flopped. I got my friend to talk to her to dig out some information. And he found out that she really is not into a relationship at the moment and that she is still planning on going to italy to visit an ex bf by herself (she has been debating it). That night we huged but there was no kiss and she was not flirty or anything at all. It was a complete 180. Now the thing is...she has a bad history of chosing bf and a bad track with exes....but she knows I treat her good and she knows we have so much fun when things are normal between us. So why this? Why the flip?? It feels as if her heart is there but her head is not. What do I do, what should I do? I plan on just being a ghost and not say or engage any contact with her. It sucks b/c I thought things were really going to happen...
joystickd Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 Don't even speak to the woman anymore. Let her be dead to you. Its that simple
Author water4150 Posted May 25, 2012 Author Posted May 25, 2012 Don't even speak to the woman anymore. Let her be dead to you. Its that simple It's going to be hard since we will have all the same classes next semester...
veggirl Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 She wants the attention, not the committment. That sucks, I'm sorry. I suggest you write her off and do not indulge her. Be ready, if you pull away she will likely chase, hook you again, and then bail. Don't let that happen. Focus on other girls, you won't get what you want from this one.
Author water4150 Posted May 25, 2012 Author Posted May 25, 2012 She wants the attention, not the committment. That sucks, I'm sorry. I suggest you write her off and do not indulge her. Be ready, if you pull away she will likely chase, hook you again, and then bail. Don't let that happen. Focus on other girls, you won't get what you want from this one. I kind of want her to chase me. And if she does chase me I'll be aware of the game now. She caught me off guard since this was also the first girl i had a crush on since my ex that broke off 7 months ago. I am one for giving second chances. I give them with everyone regardless of the circumstance. She has one more shot and next shot its going to have to be all her chasing me, and it wont be easy for her
veggirl Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 I kind of want her to chase me. And if she does chase me I'll be aware of the game now. She caught me off guard since this was also the first girl i had a crush on since my ex that broke off 7 months ago. I am one for giving second chances. I give them with everyone regardless of the circumstance. She has one more shot and next shot its going to have to be all her chasing me, and it wont be easy for her But the thing is, she will chase you until she gets you and once you reciprocate and she knows she has you hooked again, she will get uncomfortable and run away, again. You will be caught in this cycle, that's not what you want.
Author water4150 Posted May 25, 2012 Author Posted May 25, 2012 But the thing is, she will chase you until she gets you and once you reciprocate and she knows she has you hooked again, she will get uncomfortable and run away, again. You will be caught in this cycle, that's not what you want. Valid reasoning. But I'm willing to go through the cycle 1 more time. There is always the possibility of things changing and there is always the possiblity of things don't change. It's a 50-50. Only time can really tell but I'm sure it can work out but it will be a long way for anything. There were strong signs and there was a connection. She just has a bad history with guys and she picks the worse ones. She even said I treat her good and that I'm so good to her so it's really her stupidity to give me up and let me be the one to walk away...
mortensorchid Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 DOesn't matter in either case if one or the other party does the chasing, because once she gets you interested (which you obviously are) she'll make up some other excuse to ditch you. Look at what she is doing : she is chasing that former bf to another country. Think that this guy in Italy is going to give her the time of day? Of course not. I'd forget this, it's not a big deal and she's not worth your time.
Alexanda Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 Some women for some reason just love being with guys that treat them like crap, but dont want to be with the guys that will treat them good. I think you should forget about her. She isnt into a relationship right now anyways. Im sure you can find another girl who actually wants to be in a relationship.
Author water4150 Posted May 25, 2012 Author Posted May 25, 2012 DOesn't matter in either case if one or the other party does the chasing, because once she gets you interested (which you obviously are) she'll make up some other excuse to ditch you. Look at what she is doing : she is chasing that former bf to another country. Think that this guy in Italy is going to give her the time of day? Of course not. I'd forget this, it's not a big deal and she's not worth your time. Thats the thing with me...I have all the time in the world to spare since I'm on summer vaccation so I figured one more shot is spare-able. I really think her heart is there but her head is just so far up the wrong hole...I'm not gonna talk to her for a long while or engage her. No intention to anymore. I guess I'm looking for the challenge??
Author water4150 Posted May 25, 2012 Author Posted May 25, 2012 Some women for some reason just love being with guys that treat them like crap, but dont want to be with the guys that will treat them good. I think you should forget about her. She isnt into a relationship right now anyways. Im sure you can find another girl who actually wants to be in a relationship. Yea, I just don't get it becuase we had so much fun when we were together. In fact I had more fun with her in one day then I did with 2.5 years with my ex. Forgetting about her is impossible. We are really good friends and she is part of my circle of friends. She will always be around for as long as I'm in school. She will be in all 5 of my classes so thats also a negative. I hope she does open her eyes and realize what she letting walk away but nothing is garunteed but all I really can do is let time tick forwad and take it day by day again...
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