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Why can it not be simpler?


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Posted (edited)

Hi

ive had a really bad time/experiences in my life when it comes to dating. ive only been with a couple of women in my life who have both cheated and wanted money from me.

its been difficult to try and find another woman after 8 years of being single - even to date. its so complicated. like a job application.

 

so I "found" this woman. she looks really hot and she sent me an email on a website. i never received such attention or had words said to me - it did make my heart beat faster and ive never really had that, especially in a long time.

 

so we got talking ALOT and over the phone and really got on well, until ive heard her past. it DOES bother me because im different, structured, educated, have strong family values etc.... but we get on SO well and ive not had that connection in a VERY long time.

 

she said she has been in trouble with the law a good few times, has been in jail before for things like shoplifting and has assaulted a police officer. infact she has court dates coming up for violation

she said she used to do drugs but not anymore

she said she was raped by her boss a long time ago and had a daughter who she gave up for adoption

she said that she cheated on her husband a long time ago but he also cheated and they are divorced

she said that swings both ways - has been with over 50 women and with around 10 guys

she also said she has been in some porno movies, had properties (homes) but lost it all because of "bad choices"

she said she used to be an escort but doesnt do that

she has a son who lives with her and her dad (thats ok, i have no problems)

she is also adopted (thats ok, i dont have a problem with that!)

 

 

now, do I not have the right to be a little peeved at this? I mean surely I have every right to question integrity and sincerity given all of this with the cheating and stuff. I want a long term relationship and she does too but given that she has cheated, has been with women and admitted she would want a 3 some with another girl - do I not have the right to go "woah...."?

 

why cant it be simple! why all the games and stuff.

 

so confused. its like its been a very very long time since ive had the chance to try and be with someone and this is what is "out there"

 

thanks for your advice and insight.

Edited by lonelyhawk
  • Author
Posted

a large amount of views but no responses! come on people :)

Posted

Well its obvious you need to find a different woman. She has waaaaaaaaaaaay too much baggage. You need to take it slow since you haven't dated in 8 years.

  • Author
Posted

thank you.

 

oh im taking it slow but not too slow. its soo difficult to find someone "normal". too many hoops.

 

its just, we got on so well....then this.

Posted

There's nothing wrong with given someone a second chance, and the benefit of the doubt.

People can and do change, but your list of 'cons' is quite long.

 

I can assure you there are women out there you'd fall for even harder.

  • Author
Posted

its not "cons". its a matter of common sense and morals and the likely hood of the person doing it again. the risk is quite high. its a real serious matter, not a superficial thing.

seriously would you want to be with someone who did drugs and may do it in the future?

would you want to be with someone who has done porno movies and may do it in the future?

would you want to be with someone where the likelyhood of them cheating and swinging with someone else at the same time is high?

 

no grounds for a reasonable relationship!

Posted

This is not the type of woman to get back into dating with, there's a high chance of emotional disorders, maybe fullblown personality disorder. Normal people don't tell all that stuff right off the bat to people they haven't even met in person. There is also a good chance you are being set up for some kind of ripoff. Move on and good luck finding better options.

  • Author
Posted

Thank you dasein for your view on this matter. I appreciate this.

One could argue that "at least im being honest"

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