dsw31 Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 Give us a rough estimate of how much time a day you spend thinking about your ex? Also how long have you been broken up? I am the dumpee... I'd estimate that I spend about 70% - 80% of my day thinking about my ex nowadays I spent about 98% of my time thinking of him immediately after breakup (I wonder if that's extreme?) Lol! We have been broken up for a little over 2 months. I'm especially curious to hear from any dumpers
headsashed Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 We have been broken up about 10 days,the 1st few days i spent about 90% of my day thinking about her,now its about 50%,im the dumpee yet again.
DuchessKaye Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 Being the dumpee or the dumper, I used to think about my exes 99 % of my day immediately after break up. They're going to be the last thing I will think before going to bed then the first thing in the morning upon waking up. But after few months, just down to 1%. It was always like that no matter how much I loved 'em during the relationship. Oh well, maybe because I have a very busy life, working and doing lotsa things and my attention and time are going towards those.
raspberry.12 Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 Being a dumpee, 99% of my time thinking about him after the break up. We broke up for almost 2 months, now it reduced a bit but still 85-90% of my time missing & thinking of him. I'm kind of emotional person so I doubt it I could get over soon I'm curious how the dumper feels after break up.
pathetic1999 Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 broken up for 23 days and I think about him still 90% which is down from 99%...I am the dumpee (hate that word)
shayla Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 At first I thought about him all the time. I had so much anger, I hated him so much that all I could think about was the way I had been treated for almost 3 years. Now, I hardly think of him at all. And that is too much. My goal is to never think of him again.
Author dsw31 Posted May 26, 2012 Author Posted May 26, 2012 At first I thought about him all the time. I had so much anger, I hated him so much that all I could think about was the way I had been treated for almost 3 years. Now, I hardly think of him at all. And that is too much. My goal is to never think of him again. Shayla that's awesome! How long did it take you to feel this way? How long have you been broken up for?
shayla Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 It's been a year and a half. It was a very, very nasty breakup. The last person he did this to that I found out about after our breakup, never got over it, they were married and he suddenly dumped her and his daughter and married her "friend"' months later. That was years ago and his former wife has never had another relationship.
mike588 Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 Dumped hard 10 months ago and am happy to say I rarely think about her anymore. It does get better!!!
Author dsw31 Posted May 26, 2012 Author Posted May 26, 2012 I'm sorry you had to experience that.You're very strong to feel the way you do now.I wonder if your anger towards him has helped you get as far as you are today? I don't really feel anger towards my ex at this point... I've been really missing him lately.I think these nice summer days make it worse I just wish I could get over him a little faster. I know...time Thanks for sharing Shayla
Author dsw31 Posted May 26, 2012 Author Posted May 26, 2012 Dumped hard 10 months ago and am happy to say I rarely think about her anymore. It does get better!!! Thanks for sharing too Mike588 How long did you guys date & how long did it take for you to be able to say you rarely think of her? Is that a recent feeling?
Svet74 Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 When I was dumped exactly a yr ago I thought about him all the time and I was desperate/obsessed on getting him back. I was on a mission to get him back. When I was not at work I spent hours googling on how to get your ex back and did that but nothing worked. Me and my ex were on and off with communication during the breakup so about 10 months he was in my life. Besides the 3 times I did nc to get him back. Then finally 4 months ago I decided to do nc again but this time to move on not get him back and decided to stick to him. I still think about him when I wake up and go to sleep and at work when I'm not talking to my customers. But I don't have that obsessive feeling anymore. I've learned to just cope and he is In my thoughts and it's become part of my life. I'm not in pain anymore and I miss him a little. One day when I wake up not thinking about him is the day il know I'm completely over him.
Author dsw31 Posted May 26, 2012 Author Posted May 26, 2012 When I was dumped exactly a yr ago I thought about him all the time and I was desperate/obsessed on getting him back. I was on a mission to get him back. When I was not at work I spent hours googling on how to get your ex back and did that but nothing worked. Me and my ex were on and off with communication during the breakup so about 10 months he was in my life. Besides the 3 times I did nc to get him back. Then finally 4 months ago I decided to do nc again but this time to move on not get him back and decided to stick to him. I still think about him when I wake up and go to sleep and at work when I'm not talking to my customers. But I don't have that obsessive feeling anymore. I've learned to just cope and he is In my thoughts and it's become part of my life. I'm not in pain anymore and I miss him a little. One day when I wake up not thinking about him is the day il know I'm completely over him. Thanks Svet! I feel just like you do.I'm not in pain-just coping but-it's sad. I've done all that googling too! (the first time my ex & I broke up) Lol! We were on & off for 3 years.How long were you with him?
my body is a cage Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 "Dumper" here, although I dumped due to being treated poorly/ not feeling cared about, not bc of lack of feeling: I spend a GOOD portion of my day thinking about him, wondering if he even cared that I dumped him, if he hates me, if I have lost him forever, if I overreacted, etc. It's only been 8 days, however...
Svet74 Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 We were together only 5 months. But felt like we dated for yrs. that's how close we were. Everything else after that was on and off. Now just in nc trying to move on and forget. The only thing that I know from what's going on with my ex is that I guess he told his uncle he wants to be with me and change. I could go on and on. He also did drugs and alcohol abuse. I don't know a lot of baggage that I didn't know of before our relationship. Which I ended up finding out after the breakup. Long story short he was the only guy I had a real connection with and just be myself. But if he can't fix his issues then no point. But after finding out what he said to his uncle that put a break to my moving on process if you know what I mean
lilyblue Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 Broken up for 8 months. I'd say I spend between 75-90% of the day thinking about him still.... ugh. I was the dumpee.
mike588 Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 Thanks for sharing too Mike588 How long did you guys date & how long did it take for you to be able to say you rarely think of her? Is that a recent feeling? We dated for a year. We were friends from many years ago and reconnected and hit if off. She had only been single for a month or two and I was a rebound...she still had feelings for her ex. Anyway it took me around 6 months to really...really get over her. Almost 10 months now and I've sooooo moved on and am over her!! I'm in such a better place now without her!
Savage4 Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 (edited) Before I was busy: probably thought about her 90% of my day. Now that I'm busy: probably think of her 50% of my day. It's been a little over 2 months since the breakup. I was the dumpee. P.S. For anyone wondering how much the breakup affects the dumper / how much they think about the dumpee... I think the fact that the vast majority of the posters here are the dumpees answers that question. Edited May 26, 2012 by Savage4
raspberry.12 Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 sorry to ask a wrong question here but wondering if this is a normal reaction of dumper. Dumper broke up, disconnected all means of communications (even changed number without notifying dumpee), does it mean an end, dumper never wants to see dumpee again??
Author dsw31 Posted May 26, 2012 Author Posted May 26, 2012 Before I was busy: probably thought about her 90% of my day. Now that I'm busy: probably think of her 50% of my day. It's been a little over 2 months since the breakup. I was the dumpee. P.S. For anyone wondering how much the breakup affects the dumper / how much they think about the dumpee... I think the fact that the vast majority of the posters here are the dumpees answers that question. I'm busy all the time but... I still think about my ex way too much.It makes me unable to fully concentrate on what I'm doing.I've been forgetting things lately & just basically a ghost. You are probably right about the dumper thing. I have not had that many relationships in my life but, I've been the dumper 3 times.When I was ready to dump-there was no turning back.The only time I spent thinking about them was randomn moments when I thought "Sh*t-I hope I never have to talk to them again"
Savage4 Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 (edited) I'm busy all the time but... I still think about my ex way too much.It makes me unable to fully concentrate on what I'm doing.I've been forgetting things lately & just basically a ghost. You are probably right about the dumper thing. I have not had that many relationships in my life but, I've been the dumper 3 times.When I was ready to dump-there was no turning back.The only time I spent thinking about them was randomn moments when I thought "Sh*t-I hope I never have to talk to them again" When my ex first left me I had important things to focus on in my life but I couldn't focus at all. I had lost my motivation to do anything and it seemed like everything I was living for was ripped away from me in an instant. I thought about my ex 24/7 and I let my life start going down the sh*tter. It took about a month for me to make a change... When I say 90% to 50% that is considering I have had about 2 months to let my emotions sink in. At this point it is very hard not to think of your ex when you are sitting around with way too much free time doing nothing with your life... and you know your ex is living it up. Do whatever you can to fill your free time. Meet new people, work more hours, find new hobbies. Just keep yourself busy. I have really only been the 'dumper' one time in my life and although I gave it some thought I did not have the same pain or emotions. I felt bad I was putting someone else through pain but it did not compare at all. Edited May 26, 2012 by Savage4
hinatticus Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 Been just over 3 months. Dumpee. Think about her 80-90%. I have to tho, we share a child and I'm the process of getting her back. Who knows if it will work but I'm on a good path.
Svet74 Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 I've been the dumper once and the pain. Was worse. Only because I realized I made a mistake. And the worst feeling is when u want them back and they don't want you anymore. I think that's worse then being dumped. But in the end I was glad cuz I did find out he was cheating
ladyabstrused Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 sorry to ask a wrong question here but wondering if this is a normal reaction of dumper. Dumper broke up, disconnected all means of communications (even changed number without notifying dumpee), does it mean an end, dumper never wants to see dumpee again?? Most likely, yes.
Alexanda Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 I got dumped out of the blue by my ex of about a year 8 months ago and I think about him maybe a few times a month. I know eventually I wont think about him much at all. The first few months after you break up with someone you do think about them a LOT. Its normal.
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