Milestone Birthdays

[shorty7]

When I was a freshman in high school, I found out it was my English teacher's birthday and passed around a note asking everyone to sing happy birthday once class started at the signal of one of the students. So as innocent 14~15 year olds, we broke out in song, surely loud enough for the entire wing of classes to hear. By the time we were done singing, she was bursting in tears. Apparently it was her 30th birthday. We were so confused! (And thinking back on it, I'd wanna go back in time and apologize. Sorry Ms.H~!)

 

I was complaining to my older best friend my apprehension about turning 30 soon and she called me a whiny baby (rightfully so) to which I retorted with a pointed finger:

"Shut up, you cried on your 30th birthday because you were single and childless, and you know it!"

I was expecting something else, but she burst out laughing the next moment and admitted whole-heartedly that she did, exactly for reasons I stated.

 

So for the thread conversation:

What was your big "milestone" birthday you note significant to your life? Has it changed your outlook, or is age "just a number" to you?

 

My big milestone birthday I've had to this date was my 21st, but it's probably the most bittersweet of the birthday memories I have. My 21st was the last meal my family ever sat down together (mom,dad,sis, myself) as a family. My parents separated later that year and the divorce was final by the following spring right after my sister's 16th birthday. I've never been much of a fan of my own birthday since I never grew up with birthday celebrations with grandparents or relatives (or friends, especially since my birthday is in the summer), but I've never been able to look at that day as positively since. I always want to "forget" just to keep myself of reminding myself of pessimistic memories I have of the past.

 

I accept that I'll likely be bawling on my 30th, and I'm okay with it--I figure by now if it happens it happens. No one can stop themselves from turning a certain age and at the end of the day, it's just a number.

[january2011]

Y'know, I don't really remember.

 

In the lead-up to milestone birthdays, I feel that there's going to be some kind of 'ta-da' moment, but then nothing much happens and it's kinda 'meh'.

 

At this time in my life, I'm in awe of how quickly the years go by - before I know it, there's another birthday that's come and gone.

 

Having said that, I remember reading a similar discussion on another forum where a posted suggested that it's not 10, 20, 30, 40, etc. that are the milestones, but the year before. That is, the 9, 19, 29, 39, etc. That's when you suddenly realise that you're going to reach the end of another decade, so you get reflective and start making changes.

[josie54]

I was aware of aging when I was very young--I can't tell you how. But when I was 7 or 8, I started dreading my 10th birthday, when I would suddenly be in the "double digits." I didn't want to lose my childhood, but I was losing it all the same. I was not happy at my 10th birthday party.

 

Thirteen was also unwelcome, because I was suddenly a teenager--I hated the thought of it. Then I dreaded turning 18, because I would be out of high school (which I loved) and have to go to college.

 

But 21 was my biggest trauma. I had been dreading 21 ever since I was 8 years old. I'd hated all those other adolescent milestone birthdays (10, 13, 16, 18), but in my head, 21 was truly "the end," when you could no longer claim to be a kid. You had to be "an adult." I cried and cried when I turned 21. My college roommate made me go to a bar and get one drink, which I took a couple sips of and then asked to go home.

 

After that, I was still upset over "milestone" birthdays, but not as upset as I was at 21, because for me, that was the worst one. It was all downhill from there! So at 30 I was depressed, but by then, I was resigned to the fact. I did find comfort in the fact that "I wasn't 40 yet." So you can imagine how I felt when I turned 40. Game over. I'm 42 now, and I can only imagine my mood at 50.

 

It's somewhat exacerbated by the fact that I LOOK young (or so people tell me). People think I'm in my 20s when they meet me, and when they find out my actual age, they're taken aback, but then they treat me differently than they would a 20-something of course. The dignity that comes with age and all that, I guess.

 

As you probably have guessed, I do not celebrate my birthday. My friends have gotten into the habit of saying they're "taking me out to dinner for no reason at all" and they try to avoid the actual day.

 

I know it's not normal to be so focused on it, especially when I was so young! I can't even tell you what triggered the obsession at 8 years old. But it's always been there, and I know it's held me back from doing many things that I should have done when I was younger (traveled, moved to different cities, partied more, had more adventures), simply because after I turned 21, I was so focused on how fast time was slipping away that I didn't see the point in doing anything .

 

So, just don't do as I do! Enjoy your 30's. It should be a good decade.

[fucpcg]

I just past 42. Birthdays really have no significance to me, as I don't adjust my life around my age, I adjust my life around my interests. I do everything physically I used to do at 22, with the added bonus of carrying with me the knowledge and maturity of a 42 year old man. Looking back, I'd say 40 was probably my most special birthday, however. Why? I spent it at home, cooking and watching a movie, with a woman that was soon to steal my heart. 40 didn't make it special, there wasn't any big party that made is special... what made is special is who I was with.

[FitChick]

I loved turning 30 because when you are in your twenties, no one listens to you or takes you seriously. Hated 40 and every birthday thereafter. I don't like having people limit me based on a number.

[josie54]

I loved turning 30 because when you are in your twenties, no one listens to you or takes you seriously. Hated 40 and every birthday thereafter. I don't like having people limit me based on a number.

 

Yes, that's a huge part of it! The moment people hear I'm in my 40's, their whole demeanor changes. It's flattering at first to hear that they thought I was younger, but once the age number is "out there" it puts a whole new spin on how they treat you. Suddenly, you don't have the excitement or promise or some quality I can't quite put my finger on. It's very disheartening.

 

I must admit, though, that the younger people are, the less they tend to care about it. It's those in their mid-30's and up who really change.