kyle77 Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 Lately, I have been better regarding my ex. I have gone whole days without thinking about her. But every now and then I end up dreaming about her at night and then I seem to go downhill from there for a few days at a time. For example I dreamt of her last night and then during the day I have been checking her Facebook page, as well as twitter. I have come to accept that me and my ex may not be right for each other and that ultimately we will both find happiness with or without each other. But I still know that if she starts to date someone it will still crush me. It has been eight months since we were together, (just a little background information). These dreams are occurring regularly, about once a week, and there isn't really anything I can do to make them stop. So I guess I am just wondering....is this normal and what should I be doing about it? I figured I would be okay if my ex were to start dating anyone at this point and I definitely didn't think I would still be dreaming about her....
DuchessKaye Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 That's pretty normal I'm still dreaming of my ex from time to time. Nothing to worry about it.
2sunny Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 You're still handing your ex too much power. Work on taking your power back. Those dreams will then stop.
Reddice Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 (edited) Agree with 2sunny. And the best way to get your power back is to start dating other girls. I recommend you start working towards sleeping with as many girls as possible (no new relationship). This does the trick for most men. Edited May 25, 2012 by Reddice
Jingle14 Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 Do you think a dumper ever dreams about the dumpee though, especially if the chemistry and attraction were still very much in evidence 3 months after a break up (and they were - he was hugely attracted to me still, it was still me he thought of when 'alone' in bed which he admitted - he just clearly didn't think much of my personality). I saw him today - he has offered to fix my laptop (he has an IT business and it is a laptop he bought me) and I made sure I looked my best but I doubt he noticed (and he's with someone else now) but I wonder if he will dream about how I was looking (he had been infatuated with me for 2 and a half years before we got together, we were both married but I left my husband for him when I realised my feelings for him, which I thought were inrequited, were reciprocated. We were supposed to be together for the rest of our lives, we said we'd never felt so deeply about anyone else. I still feel like that but he doesn't). Sorry to take over someone's thread but I wonder if he will think about me at all, subconsciously.
Mcnulty Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 Jingle, he has someone else, that simple really i'm afraid. She may be a nice girl and you wouldn't want an ex of your partner still wanting to get back by getting them to fix their laptop would you? Dreams...7 months on and I dreamt about her vividly last night, hurt when I woke up and i've thought about it quite a bit today, god i miss the cow! Part of healing i guess.
Jingle14 Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 Jingle, he has someone else, that simple really i'm afraid. She may be a nice girl and you wouldn't want an ex of your partner still wanting to get back by getting them to fix their laptop would you? I only contacted him about the laptop because it may still be under warranty (he got it me last May). I hadn't been in touch with him for a while, nor would I have done, so it wasnt deliberate. But I haven't been able to stop the tears all afternoon, I literally cannot speak to anyone. I had convinced myself he was scum (and with very good reason) and cannot believe the effect this encounter has had on me. He's taken my soul away. It's a year next month and I feel after today that I am right back to square one.
Reddice Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 We were supposed to be together for the rest of our lives Well yeah... your ex husband thought the same and see where it left him. I had convinced myself he was scum (and with very good reason) Do as you please. I guess your ex husband has the same feelings about you and with good reason as well. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Enjoy it! 1
Author kyle77 Posted May 25, 2012 Author Posted May 25, 2012 I am 19 though, I haven't really mastered the art of sleeping with as many girls as possible. I am willing to learn....sounds like fun.....but I don't know I have never really thought of myself as a guy who slept with anyone he wanted. I am good looking (not trying to be cocky) but I don't really know what to do to make girls want to sleep with me. And do you really think that this is the best way to get my power back? I totally agree that I am probably still giving her too much power, I just am unsure of the way to regain that power.
Jingle14 Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 Well yeah... your ex husband thought the same and see where it left him. Do as you please. I guess your ex husband has the same feelings about you and with good reason as well. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Enjoy it! I have only just joined this forum, having read it for ages and I thought it was somewhere to come for support, not be judged or criticised as I just don't need that right now. My ex husband found someone else within 6 weeks actually (and we still get on well) and you don't know my circumstances. My heart's in pieces but maybe this isn't the forum I thought it was.
Mcnulty Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 Kyle, sorry for hijacking your thread, dreams are a pain, they smack you in the face when you're trying to heal..hopefully in time mate they will become less frequent for you. Reddice, do you know Jingle 14? Why on earth are you being so negative towards her???? Jingle, I'm so sorry the thread went the way it did. There are people here who want to help and support others in dire straits, believe me. I think you need to go NC with him, I really do. How else are you going to get over him?
Svet74 Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 its funny because ive been wanting to dream of my ex and i couldnt for the longest time until last night. it was a good dream though we were laughing and talking just like old times. made me miss him more.
Author kyle77 Posted May 28, 2012 Author Posted May 28, 2012 its funny because ive been wanting to dream of my ex and i couldnt for the longest time until last night. it was a good dream though we were laughing and talking just like old times. made me miss him more. This is exactly the thing I am trying to avoid! When I dream of my ex the next few days to a week I spend in the dumps reminiscing about the good times we had together. I then spend way too much time thinking about her and its like I am back in that phase where I would do anything to get her back. Hopefully the dreams do become less frequent because they seem to appear every time I feel like I am making progress in getting over my ex....MAJOR SETBACK :S
CarrieT Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 I have been broken from my last Ex for over three years and am in the ninth month of a new relationship which I believe will turn into a marriage and I still dream of my last Ex (he is what brought me to LS). We had one of those "instant connections" which was volatile and vitriolic. It ended with his alcohol and prostitute addiction... After we broke up, I had almost a year of dreams about him. Then - after that - I would have very vivid dreams and learn later from mutual friends that the dreams always coincided with particularly hard times for him (he was homeless or going through rehab). As it happens, I had a rather vivid dream and about he and his mother on Thursday night and, sure enough, when I checked with a mutual friend, I learned that he was - yet again - dealing with his Mother in a rehab situation so the psychic connection STILL exists. I am fortunate to be able to tell my current relationship about these situations because he can tell when I am having nightmares and we are all surprised that my Ex still haunts me...
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