is she miserable, or is it me?

[johnnyl321]

Hello everyone. I could use a little help here. So please, bear with me.

I'm a divorced dad. I have joint custody of my 2 daughters. The reason I'm writing is to get some info or advice. My girlfriend and I have been together for 2 and a half years. She lives with me now for over 1 year. The problems is, I don't feel she cares very much for my children. When my daughters come over, I tell them to give her a hug and a kiss. They do. They tell me how much they like her and her son (similar age as my girls), but my gf doesn't do that for them. She never just comes up and hugs them. She has no problem yelling at them if they did something wrong. I don't yell at her son. It's kind of bothering me.

On the same point. I notice that lately she's been the same way with me. No more spontaneous hugs, kisses or I love you. I've told her before, if she's not happy, she doesn't have to stay. She says she's upset that her son doesn't come around more often (lives with his dad). Now, I love this girl. But, I'm not going to waste the rest of my life in misery either. The fun times I like to have with her seem to be going further and further apart. I do nice things for her. Send her flowers, write notes, send cards, rub her back and her feet. Try to make her laugh. What I want to know from any ladies here is: Is she putting me on? Why is she so miserable most of the time?

thanks

[average guy]

I hate to say it but I ouwld put my kids before any relationship of mine. If she is mistreating them it is up to you to correct her behaviour or stop seeing her. As she also seems unhappy in her relationship with you, you might want to ask her to see a therapist together if you can't find out why from talking to her.

 

Good luck

[magda]

Have you asked her? Talk about how you feel and see what she says. If you can't bring this up, you're right, you'll live the rest of your life with her in misery.