Ziggy80 Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 I just recently had a breakup from a 3 1/2yr LDR and need advice. I met my ex online Dec. 2008. We hit it off right away and a relationship shortly followed. He lives in England and I live in the US. During this time, we had our ups and downs, but overall everything was good. Oct. 2010 he came to visit me for 2 weeks and we met in person for the first time. He came back for 3 more visits: April 2011, Aug. 2011, Oct. 2011, and I went to England to visit him Dec. 2011. We basically knew it wasn't going to last long term, because he was too established there, and he doesn't like change and I couldn't move there due to my children. We talked about it in Nov. 2011 and almost ended it then, but didn't. Last weekend, we mutually decided it was "that time" and ended it. It got to the point where I was hurting more and more because he couldn't/ wouldn't move here and he felt to pressured by it. Our thought was that if we ended it now, we could be just friends and prevent any animosity or bad feelings to the other person for not wanting the same things. If we continued, one (or both) of us was going to develop anger/resentment towards the other. It was very upsetting for me, and I'm still getting over things. But, I keep telling myself that even though we were perfect for each other, I just kept getting more and more hurt because I couldn't have him here. With that being said, would it be wrong of me to go on a casual date this weekend? I admit that it's a rebound thing, but just thinking about it keeps my mind off of the recent break-up. Plus, gives me hope for the future. Or does it sound cold and heartless? Honestly I'm not that way. It was an awesome 3 1/2yr and I don't regret it. However, I feel the need to move on.
d'Arthez Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 With that being said, would it be wrong of me to go on a casual date this weekend? I admit that it's a rebound thing, but just thinking about it keeps my mind off of the recent break-up. Plus, gives me hope for the future. Or does it sound cold and heartless? Honestly I'm not that way. It was an awesome 3 1/2yr and I don't regret it. However, I feel the need to move on. I would not stop you. However, I would not be emotionally calling this a "casual date", because it would be a bigger reminder to yourself as well of the heartache you suffered. But if you feel that it works for you, go on that casual date. I would also tell your ex, even though it may sound cold and heartless to him (these kind of things have the tendency to be found out when you don't tell him). But he should also realize that he has had his opportunities, and he could not / would not take them.
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