Laveli Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 omg hands are shaking, i signed up on match tonight and see my ex on there. it's been just over two months since our splite and she is already looking for a new guy.
Author Laveli Posted May 25, 2012 Author Posted May 25, 2012 viewed her profile, i don't have a picture up but she will know its me. I have everything about me in my profile. school, work etc.
ls32ssibm Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 That sounds rough, but keep in mind you signed up as well Also, yeah two months can be a little soon, but keep in mind some people on here are left for someone else. In my case, she was with someone else within a week.
crazyaboutcrazy Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 Why did you sign up unless you're looking as well? I don't see what the big deal is.
Author Laveli Posted May 25, 2012 Author Posted May 25, 2012 Took her to dinner and bought her flowers 2 weeks ago. wow heart is crushed
Author Laveli Posted May 25, 2012 Author Posted May 25, 2012 Raging right now, how fast she moved on. Begged her back, will never trust another woman ever again
muzik_lvr Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 Took her to dinner and bought her flowers 2 weeks ago. wow heart is crushed Raging right now, how fast she moved on. Begged her back, will never trust another woman ever again Sounds like you may have pushed her further away with your actions here. Give it time man. Move on and heal. It will get better. Get off those dating sites and spend a good deal of time focusing on you and becoming whole. 2 months is pretty soon to jump back into dating, especially if you still have all these feelings bottled up for her. Time man, time. 1
Author Laveli Posted May 25, 2012 Author Posted May 25, 2012 Sounds like you may have pushed her further away with your actions here. Give it time man. Move on and heal. It will get better. Get off those dating sites and spend a good deal of time focusing on you and becoming whole. 2 months is pretty soon to jump back into dating, especially if you still have all these feelings bottled up for her. Time man, time. Well the only thing i can think of she may have already had her profile when we were together. Right after an argument she changed and wanted no part of me, she said she cant get back and etc. I signed up today and see her on there, so i'm guessing she has had a profile on there for much longer.
Author Laveli Posted May 25, 2012 Author Posted May 25, 2012 Right before our big argument, she was acting very strange. She for no real reason picked a fight for no real reason. She went on and on so i left her house. The following day she said she was done with me. Now this explains everything...
muzik_lvr Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 Well the only thing i can think of she may have already had her profile when we were together. Right after an argument she changed and wanted no part of me, she said she cant get back and etc. I signed up today and see her on there, so i'm guessing she has had a profile on there for much longer. I hear ya my man. But my question is, why are you wanting to try and date and jump into another relationship right now if you are still very affected by your ex and have such strong feelings still? Is it because you are wanting to try and alleviate some of that pain by meeting another lady? Or because you feel completely healed and moved on from the ex? If it is not the latter, I would suggest taking a good amount of time to focus on yourself and heal and move on. Focus on how you contributed to the fail of the relationship and work on improving yourself and growing in those areas. Read books, take up new hobbies, become aware of your strengths & weaknesses, gain confidence, etc. I am focusing on doing these things right now and it is beginning to pay dividends. You (and your future mate) will be very happy that you took that time to improve yourself months and years from now. 1
Author Laveli Posted May 25, 2012 Author Posted May 25, 2012 I hear ya my man. But my question is, why are you wanting to try and date and jump into another relationship right now if you are still very affected by your ex and have such strong feelings still? Is it because you are wanting to try and alleviate some of that pain by meeting another lady? Or because you feel completely healed and moved on from the ex? If it is not the latter, I would suggest taking a good amount of time to focus on yourself and heal and move on. Focus on how you contributed to the fail of the relationship and work on improving yourself and growing in those areas. Read books, take up new hobbies, become aware of your strengths & weaknesses, gain confidence, etc. I am focusing on doing these things right now and it is beginning to pay dividends. You (and your future mate) will be very happy that you took that time to improve yourself months and years from now. Well I thought i had moved on, i let it go. So tonight i signed up to match (i was just checking profiles, have not even paid for the site yet) to see who's out there. Then i see her on there, which makes me believe she had a profile on there or she gave up before we ended it. Less then two weeks after our breakup she told me that she is moving away from here (which is over 8 hours away) she would always tell me how important it was to be with her family. She had already thought about moving, had put paperworks for transfers at her work. Because now that its two months, she already gotten the job where she told me she was going to go. I'm thinking when she was with me, she wanted to move and wanted to end it, but had no way of doing it. She wanted a new life with her best friend who is over there. She is also a female. No way would she break it off with me, and less then two weeks later tell me oh i'm moving to X place. She had all this planned out.
sweetheart5381 Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 Well the only thing i can think of she may have already had her profile when we were together. Right after an argument she changed and wanted no part of me, she said she cant get back and etc. I signed up today and see her on there, so i'm guessing she has had a profile on there for much longer. This may sound harsh but hear me out. 1) You are looking for her on online dating sites. Wrong. Personal space... give it to her, she needs it. You have a choice to look for her. Choose not to look for her and live your life. 2) You are there too.. how can you fault her for it? It's obesessive and creepy to create a profile just to see her. Women are smarter than you think and she expected this... making this more creepy. 3) Don't go to these sites (or on any date) looking for your ex. It's unfair to those that are truly looking to meet someone who is "available". It makes you seem like a scab to most women. Sorry to be crass, but really... get off the site, stop stressing and enjoy your life. You are born with a finite number of heartbeats... you wanna waste them? 1
Author Laveli Posted May 25, 2012 Author Posted May 25, 2012 This may sound harsh but hear me out. 1) You are looking for her on online dating sites. Wrong. Personal space... give it to her, she needs it. You have a choice to look for her. Choose not to look for her and live your life. 2) You are there too.. how can you fault her for it? It's obesessive and creepy to create a profile just to see her. Women are smarter than you think and she expected this... making this more creepy. 3) Don't go to these sites (or on any date) looking for your ex. It's unfair to those that are truly looking to meet someone who is "available". It makes you seem like a scab to most women. Sorry to be crass, but really... get off the site, stop stressing and enjoy your life. You are born with a finite number of heartbeats... you wanna waste them? Well i'm not as upset her going on there as much as the timing. I'm thinking she has been on there way longer then i even know about it. She broke it off with me for no reason. Within two weeks, when we spoke she was like oh yeah im moving to X place. She never once mentioned going there when we were together. So that was planned, and i think the breakup was planned to. Which leads me to believe the dating site had been opened before our breakup, the way she was hiding her phone and her emails. I have gone through other breakups, and normally people within the first two weeks are sadden by the breakup. But, not her she was happy from day one and was ready to move 8 hours way
muzik_lvr Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 Well I thought i had moved on, i let it go. So tonight i signed up to match (i was just checking profiles, have not even paid for the site yet) to see who's out there. Then i see her on there, which makes me believe she had a profile on there or she gave up before we ended it. Less then two weeks after our breakup she told me that she is moving away from here (which is over 8 hours away) she would always tell me how important it was to be with her family. She had already thought about moving, had put paperworks for transfers at her work. Because now that its two months, she already gotten the job where she told me she was going to go. I'm thinking when she was with me, she wanted to move and wanted to end it, but had no way of doing it. She wanted a new life with her best friend who is over there. She is also a female. No way would she break it off with me, and less then two weeks later tell me oh i'm moving to X place. She had all this planned out. It sounds like you were moving on and healing and when you saw the picture if took you a few steps back. But, it will get better for you. Just stick to NC and stick to focusing on yourself in this time. Also, you may be right about her planning it all along to move. Maybe she really did want to do that and couldn't bring herself to tell you. Either way, you at least deserved the respect to be told the truth if that was indeed the case. I feel for ya in this situation, and hope things work out for ya and improve for you. I am in a similar position myself and only in 2 weeks NC, so I know I have a long road ahead, but realize that it takes and patience to heal and move on.
Savage4 Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 I feel your pain man. Found my ex's profile on a dating site a week or two after she dumped me telling me that she needed to be alone. Almost too much emotion to handle when I saw that. The worst part is the deceitfulness. Leading us on when they have ulterior motives.
Author Laveli Posted May 25, 2012 Author Posted May 25, 2012 I dont care if she went on a dating site, what i care about and upsets me is how it all went down. breaks it off with me for no reason, i fought and fought to get back, she wanted no part of it. Later she tells me oh by the way im moving to X place within two weeks of our breakup. I was hired for a position within the company. That too was strange to me, but never understood how it happened. So tonight when i see her on a dating site tells me it was all a setup...
Author Laveli Posted May 25, 2012 Author Posted May 25, 2012 I feel your pain man. Found my ex's profile on a dating site a week or two after she dumped me telling me that she needed to be alone. Almost too much emotion to handle when I saw that. The worst part is the deceitfulness. Leading us on when they have ulterior motives. Yeah i think mine is just like yours, she texted to wish me a happy birthday. And, all along told me "i'm not a b1tch" and i never called her one. So now i know what she's talking about.
muzik_lvr Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 ...stop stressing and enjoy your life. You are born with a finite number of heartbeats... you wanna waste them? Good, wise words here sweetheart5381. I have learned so much since this breakup that I feel I could write a short booklet on it all lol. But, at the end of the day, I am seeing that and that the only ones preventing us from enjoying it is ourselves. Btw, if you can't tell from my last couple posts (any my profile) I love music and will try to include it in someway in my posts if I can
Author Laveli Posted May 25, 2012 Author Posted May 25, 2012 Kind of makes me feel better, i can move past it. But, at the same time i was played like a fool now looking back. My friends always told me she does not love you as much, she does not care for you as much, no way would she accept a position within two weeks of the breakup. First that takes much longer to change positions, second if she really loved you should would not move so fast. I kept telling me she was the sweetest girls etc..
Author Laveli Posted May 25, 2012 Author Posted May 25, 2012 All I can say is it gave me the closure i was looking for. After being blamed for everything. She was the not sweet and innocent girl I thought I knew. And, sometimes we need to listen to others, my friends called it out long time ago I refused to believe anything they said.
Jonas30 Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 I don't know what happened between you and your ex. What I can tell is, you are not ready for a new relationship yet. However, you're almost there. You moved on once, that's good. Why can't you move on again? It'll be easier this time. Maybe go for other dating site? Cheers!
sweetheart5381 Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 Well i'm not as upset her going on there as much as the timing. I'm thinking she has been on there way longer then i even know about it. She broke it off with me for no reason. Within two weeks, when we spoke she was like oh yeah im moving to X place. She never once mentioned going there when we were together. So that was planned, and i think the breakup was planned to. Which leads me to believe the dating site had been opened before our breakup, the way she was hiding her phone and her emails. I have gone through other breakups, and normally people within the first two weeks are sadden by the breakup. But, not her she was happy from day one and was ready to move 8 hours way Well, all breakups are different, but the bottom line is that she makes her choices and so do you. Hopefully someday you will understand why it ended. Lessons learned. It quite literally hurts like **** when the person you love does a number on you... like moving on fast as though the time together didnt matter, like the relationship never happened. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. Trust me.. it did matter to them and it still does. Got the exes showing up at my door to prove it. But really, it`s all up to how you choose to deal with it. Takes time to heal. Take the time. Well worth it. Truth be told, when it`s over its over. Hearts heal in time and new beginnings are on the horizon.
rach24680 Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 hey, i found my bf on a dating site while we were still together lol, count yourself lucky!
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