finalxbox Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 HI We've been broken up 6 months and been together for a year and some change. She stills tells me she loves almost everyday ...she lets me know when she made home from work safely..calls and says goodmorning every morning.Ok so i get a call from the job i been trying to get for the pass three months saying i can start on monday...great ...when she calls i tell her ..she's so happy ...and depressed at the same time ..i said whats wrong ...(she goes i wont hear from you anymore)..i said you're over reacting..ill call between my brakes and when i get off ...(she's says ill just have to get used to it)...then she goes what are we? I said i don't know yet..(she says what do you mean you don't know you had a lot of time to think...boy this gives me a headache every time)...then i quickly change the subject. Is it possible to be just friends when we still have feelings for one another????
d'Arthez Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 It is possible, but it seems she still cherishes hopes of things working out. Thus preventing her from moving on. And the same applies to you.
Gulf-Delta Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 (edited) I'd be friends with my ex, but she doesn't want it. At least not at this time. I suppose it could be possible, but not until all of the complexities of the past, and feelings attached to it are dissolved on both ends. My ex wants to be friends with me, and I her. But she never initiates conversation with me because she's focusing on other things like her career and she's dating someone, blah blah, so she can't make time for it. And I can't really be friends with her because in some ways I'm still in love with her...friendships aren't to different from relationships really. The latter is based on the former. Friendship (close, real, lasting friendships) is built on trust and at least some commitment. I want to be my exes friend more than anything, because she is so great (we just didn't work out at this point in time), but I'm jealous of her new boyfriend (I know I shouldn't be), I still haven't forgiven her for breaking my heart (I have a hard time letting things go...emotional Scorpio here), and I still have some feelings for her. So friendship, as much as I want it now, isn't possible. There's too much pressure. Too many unanswered questions on her end about the breakup. Another man has her attention. There's too much fallout for us too work on being actual friends right now. Edited May 25, 2012 by Gulf-Delta
daphne Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 You won't have a successful friendship with an ex until neither of you is attracted to the other, you're not saying things like I love you or wondering about the status of your "friendship." Most "friendships" post breakup are one person trying to get the other back. The real deal only happens when you know it wasn't working out but you care about the person and want them in your life after an extended break apart. Anything else is just kidding yourself.
Author finalxbox Posted May 27, 2012 Author Posted May 27, 2012 tierra is very spiteful if you hurt her she'll try to return the favor twice as hard last saturday i went out with the boys and i had my phone off..she called about 5 times i returned the called she said i haven't heard from you all day did you had fun...i said im not going to answer that and change the subject...then monday she said she wanted to take me on a dinner date i said cool ..she even put on facebook how she couldn't wait.. then the night before the date she send me this EX: I have to stay home with my grandmother tomorrow ..so.. the lunch date has been cancelled Me: Oh..Ok..your aunt has to work no reponse..no im sorry nothing she called me and texted me that morning and forgot to mention she was going out of town to visit her grandmother family while her aunt stay home with her grandmother..WHAT!!! She didn't call all day..or text she told when she got home...but little did she know i found that out though face book hours earlier..She was obviously trying to pay me back. I asked her a couple a weeks ago.. ME:why do you still say i love you even though i dont say it back.. HER:thats how i feel HER:if i found out that you had a girlfriend i would be pissed off ME: why if you truly want to be my friend then it shouldn't matter HER:at least im honest about my feelings ME:sounds like you're not over me HER:say what? whatever Its kinda hard being friends when she stills sees me in this light.
carhill Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 Do You Think Its Possible To Be Friends With Your Ex ??? Imagine the relationship you have with your best friend of the same gender, assuming hetero. If the dynamic resolves to that, then a healthy friendship is possible. In my case, I'm cordial and friendly with my exW whenever we have contact, as we still share mutual friends from our ten year M. She's not my friend. I'm not hers. We don't meet the parameters of mutual interest and care outlined prior.
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