William Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 Moderator note: As long as LoveShack's software triggers on <online dating> and commercial links, members will occasionally see the 24-48 hour message. What I see is a member post in green when I look at the thread and a little icon next to the thread when viewing the forum . Moderators check threads a couple times a day so 'approval' should take far less than 24-48 hours.
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 Also, as an experiment, I removed all my pictures and just left my profile. I ended up getting ZERO messages over 2 months period. So yeah, pics are really important. 1
Author Forever Learning Posted May 26, 2012 Author Posted May 26, 2012 I posted some replies to others who left input, but the LoveShack message said it would have to be reviewed, so rather than double post, I will wait and see if my other comments get posted or not. Thanks! ********************** Seth Apprentice, Laveli, and Carhill- I had written a response to your comments, and that was the post of mine that was put on a 24-48 automatic hold. I think I posted too many in a row is what happened. Anyhow, it should pop up in a day or so, it was just thoughts and thank yous. Moderator note: As long as LoveShack's software triggers on <online dating> and commercial links, members will occasionally see the 24-48 hour message. What I see is a member post in green when I look at the thread and a little icon next to the thread when viewing the forum . Moderators check threads a couple times a day so 'approval' should take far less than 24-48 hours. It was my post, # 36, and it has appeared on the thread now. Thanks!!!
Author Forever Learning Posted May 26, 2012 Author Posted May 26, 2012 I have 9 pictures on there. I have some not hot ones, and one without even a scrap of make up at home. I also have made up, posed ones. There is a range so that guys can see what I look like at home. I still get plenty of messages. I do get "you look better in person" when they meet me, so perhaps I should get rid off some "bad" pics Also, as an experiment, I removed all my pictures and just left my profile. I ended up getting ZERO messages over 2 months period. So yeah, pics are really important. Thank you for these gems of wisdom!! I know that men are 'visual' creatures, so it makes full sense that the profile with the pictures will get a thousand times more attention than one without. Thank you for mentioning that though. I love to do little experiments like what you did as well (compare responses to profile, with or without a pic). Neat stuff! I know as soon as I make a profile and put a few pictures up, I will get a variety of responses. I've really got to ready myself and get a criteria set up of what I am looking for in a man, so I don't go into this 'blind', and end up talking to (and possibly becoming involved with) someone who isn't a good match. That is something I need to work on. Cheers!
Author Forever Learning Posted May 26, 2012 Author Posted May 26, 2012 This is probably a dumb question, but can anyone give me feedback on the age range I should shoot for? I am 42, will be 43 in June. Sincere question! I know it's a personal preference, but I just like to get feedback from others. It gets me thinking about things I might not have otherwise thought of.
oaks Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 This is probably a dumb question, but can anyone give me feedback on the age range I should shoot for? I am 42, will be 43 in June. If you use a site that displays what range you're looking for then I suggest you have a range that at least includes your current age. Apart from that, start with a small range and have a look around the site to get a feel for what/who you find attractive and then expand your range to include that. On some sites the range you're looking for isn't necessarily displayed to everyone else - in that case don't be surprised if you get mail from very young and very old people. (A minor pet-hate of mine is people who complain in their profile about getting age-inappropriate requests but who fail to list what age they prefer.) On some sites, eg PoF, you can restrict who can contact you based on their age. That could be a good feature to use if you find that you get messages from people outside your preferred age range. Finally - be prepared to be flexible. If you meet someone in the grocery store or at a bar they don't have a sign floating above their head telling you their age, so don't rely on it being a primary selection criteria online either. 1
Author Forever Learning Posted May 26, 2012 Author Posted May 26, 2012 Thank you Oaks! Excellent advice. Yes, I am prepared to be flexible, to some extent. I was thinking, maybe a good age range for me, since I am about to turn 43, would be from age 40 - 48. I chose 48 since its 5 years older than me. I don't want to go too much above 48, mostly because men as a rule pass away earlier than women, and so I don't want someone too much older than me. Ideally, I would like to find someone who is my age or within a year or two of my age. I think that way, we would have the most in common, having shared the same music and movies and pop culture and whatnot when growing up, at the same stages in life. But I know life doesn't always work that way, and I am prepared to be flexible. Anyone else have any input on age range?
carhill Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 Mid 30's to mid 40's would be reasonable and appropriate for local dating here in Cali. When I dated internationally, certain cultures appeared to embrace a somewhat wider age range in both directions, hence I dated some women ten or more years younger as well as a similar range older. 1
Author Forever Learning Posted May 26, 2012 Author Posted May 26, 2012 Mid 30's to mid 40's would be reasonable and appropriate for local dating here in Cali. When I dated internationally, certain cultures appeared to embrace a somewhat wider age range in both directions, hence I dated some women ten or more years younger as well as a similar range older. Mid 30's. Hmmmm. This is where I start to scratch my head. I'm not sure about that, for me. I turn 43 in June. Let's just call me 43 already for the sake of this conversation. If I were to date someone who is 35, that would be an 8 year age difference, with the man being 8 years younger than me. This is questionable to me. We have all heard men are visual. And, that men age better than women (not sure I believe that, but women have thinner skinner on their faces which seems to wrinkle more easily, in my opinion). So, I am worried that as I aged, and being 8 years older, that would cause me problems in the future, say once I was 55, and he was 47. Just a thought of mine, not saying I am right or wrong here. The upside of a younger man is he might be around longer than on older one! This is probably very superficial. I may have ruffled some feathers there. I don't mean to. Anyhow, if I have to pick an age range, now having thought further about it, I think I might go with 40 - 48. Unless someone is just such a remarkable personality match for me, that there are some extenuating circumstances either way. Thank you Carhill for the input! You get me thinking, and that is always a good thing for me. Thanks.
carhill Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 Life is largely unknown. A younger man could die tomorrow. An older man could out-live you or you could die tomorrow. I look for synergy in the here and now, combined with a compatible perspective on/experience of family history. If considering younger men, you could limit to those who are never married and/or without children, as an example, if those dynamics are important to you. If other dynamics are important, filter as appropriate, irrelevant to age. What's your relationship goal?
persevere Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 (edited) This is probably a dumb question, but can anyone give me feedback on the age range I should shoot for? I am 42, will be 43 in June. Sincere question! I know it's a personal preference, but I just like to get feedback from others. It gets me thinking about things I might not have otherwise thought of. I am 41. I keep the age range fairly close to my own age. 35-45. There seems to be more women younger than that on OLD, with what I am looking for, mainly no kids. However, though it's hard to generalize, most are just too immature for me. They want to be in the 'scene' and are still running with their packs. Especially if you get around 10 years younger. I don't want a repeat of the same tired games I experienced then, when I was that age. Sometimes I will go outside of the box and shoot for younger, but only if I get a good feeling that they are not a party girl and have their head on their shoulders. To summarize. It really is personal preference, but imho, keeping it 'real' and closely around your own age is ideal. Edited May 26, 2012 by persevere 1
FitChick Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 Anything you write on your profile is practically irrelevant. You will be contacted by all sorts since most won't bother to read your profile and will only look at your photos. After 40, genetics and lifestyle determine appearance. Most people don't seem to realize that obvious fact and are locked into "numbers" which limit their choices. 1
persevere Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 Anything you write on your profile is practically irrelevant. You will be contacted by all sorts since most won't bother to read your profile and will only look at your photos. I hear that a lot from women who OLD. Many guys pay no attention to the profiles, which is sort of an insult. Afterall, you are trying to get to know someone. I do, and it does make a bit of difference since it is more genuine. At least that's what I've been told. 1
gabrielly Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 I think its very good idea!We can fall in love in this forum,why not?
Author Forever Learning Posted May 26, 2012 Author Posted May 26, 2012 I am 41. I keep the age range fairly close to my own age. 35-45. There seems to be more women younger than that on OLD, with what I am looking for, mainly no kids. However, though it's hard to generalize, most are just too immature for me. They want to be in the 'scene' and are still running with their packs. Especially if you get around 10 years younger. I don't want a repeat of the same tired games I experienced then, when I was that age. Sometimes I will go outside of the box and shoot for younger, but only if I get a good feeling that they are not a party girl and have their head on their shoulders. To summarize. It really is personal preference, but imho, keeping it 'real' and closely around your own age is ideal. Very good information, thanks! I can see how the younger crowd would still be in 'kick up their heels/sow their wild oats' mode. This gives me something to think about with guys under 39 or so. Anything you write on your profile is practically irrelevant. You will be contacted by all sorts since most won't bother to read your profile and will only look at your photos. After 40, genetics and lifestyle determine appearance. Most people don't seem to realize that obvious fact and are locked into "numbers" which limit their choices. This is an excellent point. Thank you for giving me that to consider. I think you are largely right. Thanks Fit Chick.
noblewomancom Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 Matchmaking is not new. People have been going to dating services for years. With the increased popularity and convenience of all things online, people have been finding love online. There are several popular online dating sites that advertise regularly on tv. Despite popularity rising, people are still questioning how online dating can work.Creating relationships online is not an awful concept within itself. You have access to meeting people through online outlets that you may not have otherwise met. You are able to make connections in Oklahoma when you live in Pennsylvania. With technology you can Skype and video phone the person as well. But for a lot of people, online dating can equate to long distance relationships.The key to online dating is to take the relationship from behind the computer. Any dating relationship requires an amount of intimacy and you can't get that from emails, texts, and video chats. Those things should simply be tools to enhance a relationship, they shouldn't be the only way you interact in the relationship.Meeting someone online can allow you to communicate differently. When you build the relationship based on phone calls, it increases your communication and that can be a great way to get to know one another.There will come a time when you will have to interact in person. When the two of you are not used to being around each other, it may be difficult to make the change from online to face to face.Dating online can be done. It just doesn't replace the old school way of courting face to face.
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