watx1 Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 I'm a 48 yo man that was with a 53 yo woman 4 over 6 years. We meet on a dating site and it was like love at 1st site. Our 1st 3 years were really good except 4 a few arguments and what seemed to be mini break ups lasting no more than a week. She would be the 1st one to make contact in order for us to make up, but the last 3 years have been different. Her son who is now 17 yo has left her home 3 times and is still gone to this day. Because of her son leaving, she’s turned to alcohol for comfort instead of me and things got worse. The break up before this last one was on New Year’s eve after she got drunk and treating everyone including her 29 yo daughter like crap. It was embarrassing to say the least. As usual, about a month later, she contacted me via text saying she was glad I came in to get my teeth clean at the Dentist office she works at and that she hoped it wasn't too acquired for me. A couple days after that, she contacted me again when she found out I was at the ER for my son. She called me and ask why didn't I call her, I told her I didn't think there was anything there between us for me to be calling her. She got a little upset but ask if it would be alright to come to the ER and I said yes. She showed up and immediately grabbed my hand and instead of kissing me on the cheek like I thought she would, she kissed me on the lips. After that night it was like nothing ever happened, we were back together once again. This last and what I feel could have been the final break up happened over a month ago, which is the longest we've been apart. It happened in April after she was kicked out of her daughters house and then came to mine drunk. She was upset and started trouble with me and my children, it accelerated to were she said she couldn't believe I wasn't sticking up for her. She grabbed the bag she pack to stay the night over in and continued to say I must not want sex that night and that my cunt of daughter, which is 13 yo, was the cause of us breaking up. That is when I told her to get the hell out and never return. I now regret saying that because, yes my daughter can be a pain but I still love my daughter and this woman. A week ago she contacted me again but it was to chew me out because she thought I had something to do with calling the police on her son who is doing drugs. She also accused me of having sex with this woman that I was conducting business with. She threaten me with a restraining order along with some other things and told me to stay out of her life. I responded in a polite manner, explain to her I had nothing to do with her son and that I wasn't having sex with the woman that was helping me get my house refinanced. I haven't heard from her since. As crazy as it sounds, I still love her and would do anything to get her back but a part of me is telling me to move on. Because I know of her family history I feel she has abandonment and self-esteem issues, she will most likely want to get back together again but she will do it in a way that is like a game of control for her. She will start off saying we shouldn't be together and if I agree she will change up and say how much she misses me and wants to be with me. I just don't know what to do any more. I need help! [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT]
xpaperxcutx Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 One this woman is an alcoholic and any substance abuser is problematic, especially for the people they are in a relationship with. Even though it sounds like she wants a relationship with you, she's also using you as a crutch. Notice how when she's not on her alcohol infused rampage, she'll come back to you and " beg" for some kind of response. At this point she's bartering, but she has no right to do because it's causing you stress and grief. You need to tell her once and for all to get herself into AA and that while you can be supportive of her a recovery you cannot accept a woman who acts the way she does, espcially the way she did around your daughter. For you and your children's sake, go NC from this woman. Until she chooses to better herself and set herself straight, she is toxic to everyone else.
ano12324 Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 you gotta have some space for the both of your sake. go NC. wish her the best but you both need to work on yourselves for a while. sounds like trouble if you get back together again now.
nofool4u Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 She was upset and started trouble with me and my children, it accelerated to were she said she couldn't believe I wasn't sticking up for her. She grabbed the bag she pack to stay the night over in and continued to say I must not want sex that night and that my cunt of daughter, which is 13 yo, was the cause of us breaking up. Wow, uh, buh bye b!tch!! Nobody would call my children any kinds of names like that.
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