momto3boys Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 Today starts a new life for me. I go to court today to turn in my half of the paper work for child support. Im not sure how it will work since he's in North Carolina and i am in Maryland. I also start my first counseling session today to rebuild my self esteem that he has crushed. And today starts the No contact. I am not telling him anything that goes on with our kids anymore. I am not accepting any calls for a long time because i have tried and tried to get him more involved with our kids and he just doesnt. He is always "too busy" now to talk to our son or to hear about our youngest sons issues (eczma, severe allergies, etc.) When i call to tell him something about the kids he says "why are you calling and tell me about it?". So i am done pushing my kids on him. He is staying in North Carolina and i am staying in Maryland so he will not see them anyways. So i am done atleast until he starts acting like he wants to be involved then he can be involved all he wants, but i am so sick of being the one to keep him in their life. He is always annoyed when i call him, so screw it, he's the one missing out.
Tiberius Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 Well thats the redefinition of marriage and family to you. I wonder what was wrong with marriage and family before, the people who felt it needed to be modernized never said why.
worldgonewrong Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 Well thats the redefinition of marriage and family to you. I wonder what was wrong with marriage and family before, the people who felt it needed to be modernized never said why. Your reply to her post doesn't make a lick of sense.
pteromom Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 That's all you can do. Be open to allowing him to build a relationship with his children. But you can't force him. I would keep letting him know about IMPORTANT things - like events he may want to attend (birthday parties, graduations, etc) or medical issues or whatever. But I'd email him, not call him. That way, you don't have to deal with him being annoyed if you call. And ALSO, if he ever says you don't let him have a relationship with the kids, you have a huge digital paper trail that shows differently. Just send him emails giving him info without asking him questions: "We are having XXXX's birthday party at XXXXXX on XXXX-date at XXXXX-time if you want to come" 2
Trimmer Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 "No Contact" as used around here usually refers to an enforced refusal to communicate or allow communication. So when I read your title at first, I was concerned. I don't think this would be acceptable in any co-parenting situation (barring abuse or some similar exception.) But if you mean that you are done reaching out and making all the effort when it is ignored or rebuffed, then I understand what you are saying. I agree with pteromom - use Email, and keep offering opportunities in a neutral way. Perhaps you won't expect an answer (so you don't get emotionally stirred up by a lack of response), but for the good of your kids, hope that he eventually reaches out to reconnect with them, and allow him that opportunity if and when it arises. Until then, for the sake of your kids, keep him informed, but keep yourself from getting stirred up emotionally by keeping your expectations low.
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