Veryconfused12345 Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 Hi everyone, I was kind of hoping I had moved past the needing to post phase and could start helping others but...it's been a really rough few days. Any advice or sense knocked into me right now would be greatly appreciated. 8 months ago my very serious boyfriend left me out of the blue saying he "felt numb" before immediately getting into a new relationship with a girl who'd been chasing him. He blamed me for not loving him for him, only to retract that several months later and acknowledge it had more to do with his insecurity. He came back several weeks ago begging for forgiveness and to be allowed to slowly start rebuilding our relationship. He said he genuinely liked the other girl but that he missed our relationship. I was very conflicted but it was a relief to hear those words and because there's been a health scare with a family member going into surgery in the past few weeks and I was desperate for the support, I was almost looking forward to having him back in my life. But the day of the surgery, he disappeared and returned to his ex because she couldn't cope without him and he felt responsible. I realize now it was a lot of lip service, telling me what I was desperate to hear, but although I thought I was logical and rational, I still bought it completely. I know logically that this is a severely messed up situation and this just isn't a trust worthy or dependable guy. But I felt like I got rejected again by him and to be honest, I'm just so incredibly lonely at the moment. I don't know if I'll ever find a relationship that made me as happy as this one did (when he was behaving like a good person that is) and I really haven't had much luck meeting anyone else I was as comfortable with. It's coming up on nearly a year of heartache and I wish I could see him in a different light. I realize I sound like I'm willing to continue to take emotional abuse but I don't know what's wrong with me right now. Am I desperate or just terribly lonely? This isn't someone to be pining over as much as I've done right? But what if I never find someone who makes me as happy? And it kills me he's making someone else happy in a relationship right now, that he chose someone over me. Could someone please help me make sense of this, I'm afraid I can't stop obsessing....
Author Veryconfused12345 Posted May 26, 2012 Author Posted May 26, 2012 Anyone? I could really use some guidance right now and would be very grateful to any insight. Thanks so much
2sunny Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 His actions show he's not trustworthy. Don't waste another minute on him since he doesn't DO what he says he's gonna do... That makes him a liar. No need to wait. Move forward, take care of yourself, and NEVER settle!
Author Veryconfused12345 Posted May 26, 2012 Author Posted May 26, 2012 Thank you so much 2Sunny for your reply, I really do appreciate it. I wonder if you've been through something similar and how you managed to silence that constant background chatter in the meantime? It seems like the normal human response to something you know isn't good for you is to replay it over and over again...
Gulf-Delta Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 Thank you so much 2Sunny for your reply, I really do appreciate it. I wonder if you've been through something similar and how you managed to silence that constant background chatter in the meantime? It seems like the normal human response to something you know isn't good for you is to replay it over and over again... Love and the heart do not follow the rules of "normal human" behavior.
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