hurting1982 Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 I went back on my no contact idea and ended up meeting up with my ex last night. He knew I wanted to talk about stuff, nothing particularly to do with getting back together or anything like that. Just some stuff I wanted to ask him, but for some reason I just couldn't say what I wanted to. We talked but a lot of it was just small talk. Well he dropped me back after we'd met up....I was really angry at myself for not saying what I wanted and decided to leave him to it until he text me. But then I got a text off him, he said" thanks for tonight, I hope your ok because you didn't seem yourself when I dropped you off" I didn't reply, then he text me again "are you ok?". I know he worries about stuff so I text him back just saying yeah I'm fine. You need to stop worrying about me. We chatted a bit and said we'd speak again soon. I'm really confused by him. I really want to text him today but I'm not sure what to say. I want to still talk to him about what I was going to. Does he still have feelings for me if he's worried about me? Just have so many questions going around in my head. Please help me what to say to him
MissBrunette84 Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 You really are not helping yourself one bit. I read some of your other posts where you feel in so much pain, but then you meet up with him. If he wanted you back or had feelings, he'd make it clear. I really think you're hindering yourself from even remotely getting better and feeling ok. You're just torturing yourself to be honest.
Author hurting1982 Posted May 24, 2012 Author Posted May 24, 2012 Its hard though. I really have tried, but I keep making all the wrong decisions. Considering he still texts me and last night he wanted to check I was ok, surely that means something
MissBrunette84 Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 You are reading way to much into it, it just meant he noticed you wasn't acting yourself and just wanted to know you're ok. Nothing more, nothing less. He's showing concern beacause I'm sure he's not heartless, but there is no hidden message in it other than if you'ld ask a friend if they were ok. To heal you need to cut the contact, it really is such a good way to better yourself. Yes it is hard for the first few days to a week, but over time you start to gain some power back and feel better. It doesn't have to be permenant, nobody said you can't ever be friends in the future, but heal yourself first. You need to come first, because he doesn't put you first. He puts himself first. Do the same.
Author hurting1982 Posted May 24, 2012 Author Posted May 24, 2012 I know your right. And I'm kicking myself for meeting him. I Think I'm just doing what I did with my last ex because we kept in touch, but I don't think that was for the best now in the long run. Were good now but it took a while. I just don't know what I'm doing if I'm honest
MissBrunette84 Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 Holding on to any last thread there might be, I think thats what you're doing. I really do recommend doing no contact, just even if its for a couple of weeks to gain some self worth back and feel a little better. You can do it
Author hurting1982 Posted May 24, 2012 Author Posted May 24, 2012 Thank you. I'm going to try my damned hardest because I know I can't carry on like this. It's not healthy
MissBrunette84 Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 Thank you. I'm going to try my damned hardest because I know I can't carry on like this. It's not healthy You can do it, I know its hard but its good for you to feel better. I promise you will begin to feel better
Author hurting1982 Posted May 26, 2012 Author Posted May 26, 2012 So far so good.not contacted him. Hopefully I can stick to it. I'm really trying
Searchin81 Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 Text him everything you want to say. Dont hold it in because you will hold in a lot or your peace..
Gulf-Delta Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 Its hard though. I really have tried, but I keep making all the wrong decisions. Considering he still texts me and last night he wanted to check I was ok, surely that means something When it comes to getting through a breakup, there is no "wrong decision". Only you know your relationship, only you know your ex, only you know the correct way to interact or not interact with them.
Leigh 87 Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 Gulf Delta is right - however, going no contact is best for every healthy break up, --> unless you were so heavily involved, lived together, were planning on getting married... In THAT case, unless you have a STRONG support network and people who u can literally be around all the time...... It can be too harsh to just never see each other again, fresh from a serious relationship, when u were each others worlds. Slowly and gradually accepting the end of certain relationships, the particularly close ones, are sometimes better than cold turkey, no contact. Unless you were extremely close and planning your lives together, and were ina very serious, long term relationship, lasting years - I would go no contact. Unless you plan on getting back together, there is NO reason to contact one another - it will make it harder to get over him. Plus, is seams he has accepted it, and you have not - you sound like you still have feelings and wish he would want you back, where as he has accepted that he never wants to be with you again. I am just guessing, though.. it is just common for one person to be more over the other person, whilst the other person suffers more. Either way, going no contact is the only way to get over him in the fastes possible way! What good will it do to text or talk to him? You will only prolong your pain, because he clearly does not want you back, the way you want him.
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