daisy088 Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 Hey guys, Haven't posted in a while since moving, getting a job, etc. My life has been so crazy and so jampacked I haven't had any time to relax. For the first time in my life, I enjoy being extremely busy because its those nights alone in my new apartment that are tough for me. I haven't spoken to my last ex (my 2nd serious boyfriend) since the first few days of May. Not a word, not a peep even though major life events have happened for both of us. I have seen pictures of him. He looks happy. At first, I was an absolute mess over the breakup and couldn't eat/sleep and had to get out of town. Although I still feel that lurch in my stomach when I see pictures and I still wish he'd contact me, I do feel a lot better/calmer since doing NC so it really does work I am trying to work on myself. THIS is the really hard part. For some reason, once I'm alone (and even in the relationships), I find myself fantasizing, dreaming, thinking, and wishing I were with my ex with whom I had my longest relationship with (my first love and best friend since childhood). He was abusive after our breakup and the relationship was one where we both lied and did horrible things to each other. We haven't spoken in several weeks... issue is, thoughts of him once again are beginning to take over. The relationship turned very unhealthy and I was very sick after our breakup for more than a year. The longest we have ever gone without talking since I was 16 is around 40 days. I sometimes believe he is my soulmate though which scares me. I am maintaining my promise not to have romantic relationships though and have not and will not reach out to anyone Anyone have one ex who continues to pester their way into your mind? Even after/during/in between other great or long term relationships? Do you ever believe that person might be a soulmate or someone who you may be with later in life?
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