What does she want?

[Northman]

I broke up with my ex-gf of three years a few months ago and I'm not sure whether I'm already ready to start dating again, but here's the deal:

 

I've kinda started to like a girl from my college but she's sending me mixed signals, so I'm kinda confused.

We've known each other quite a while and sometimes met at class, but there were never any feelings involved. Then, during a party a few weeks ago we've talked a lot about mainly university stuff - we're both about to graduate and had to hand in our bachelor thesis so that's basically what everyone's talking about. She was really struggling with her paper as she chose a mathematically very demanding topic in which her professor couldn't really help her either, so she asked me whether I could take a look at it (I kinda got the reputation of being good with numbers so there's nothing special about this).

 

A few days later, we met in a cafeteria and I did give her a few advices about how to proceed to finish her paper in time - but out of 3 hours, we've only talked roughly 15 minutes about math. The rest of the time we spent talking about our lives and stuff and got to know each other better, which was when I became really interested in her. Moreover, her body language indicated that she's interested in me too and when I had to end the conversation because I had to go to class, she followed me half way through the campus although she had to go to a totally different direction and was smiling really cutely all the way, so I became rather optimistic for what might happen next.

 

A few days later, I've messaged her on facebook and we sent each other a few messages until I've asked her out for a coffee or so - and to my surprise, she refused, saying she was really busy writing her paper and would like to postpone that to two weeks later when she handed it in. She's a very dedicated girl and she'd be in huge troubles if she'd fail her bachelor thesis, so I could understand that, but still found it kinda weird. Among other stuff, I also told her on facebook about an upcoming high school class meeting for which I was assigned to bake a cake and she told me that she'd also like me to bake a cake for her. I jokingly replied that I might do that, but that I don't know whether I'll have enough time afterwards as exams were coming up. She replied that she was just kidding and stuff, so I guess she kinda took this as a refusal...

 

Two weeks later, she messaged me again and asked me whether I could help her to proof read part of her bachelor thesis, which I of course did. Again, we've talked about a few other things. She told me about how afraid she was of failing the paper and that she thinks it's all so bad, so I've encouraged her and so on. During the past two weeks, we also quickly met on campus but we were both in a hurry and she appologized in her message for not having time to talk then as she had to go to class (which is kinda weird as you're meeting friends on campus and hurry by all the way). However, short after that she suddenly didn't reply anymore, probably because she really had to hurry up to hand in her paper.

 

Now she must have handed in her paper this week but didn't message me again - she's either too shy or not interested enough, I dunno. What's more is, yesterday was the birthday of a friend of our's and if she most likely knew that I was going but she didn't go, saying she was too tired (either an all-nighter before handing in the paper or she wanted to avoid meeting me ).

 

I'm now kinda confused about what to do - should I ask her out again or would that seem to desperate? Or should I bake a cake for her birthday next week or would that make me even more look like a wuss?

 

Since the beginning of high school I've been in a relationship most of the time, so I guess I'm really out of shape when it comes to dating new girls And I can't handle my emotions well when it comes to love, as I really can't help thinking of her instead of focusing on my exam tomorrow -.-

[Alexanda]

I think you should just leave her alone. It sounds to me like she was using you to help her with her paper.

[dasein]

Would pass on this one. Sounds like she was using you to help write her paper, nothing more. She knows where to find you if she is interested. Good luck cultivating other options.

[hiimgerman]

Sounds like an Asian girl (no offense to the Asian people and not being racist either)