Pierre Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 But, but, but, but--------------what happen to the Asian guy?????:( BTW, this current guy has loser written all over. How about the guy before the Asian guy? He was painted as a keeper by you. Why are these men flying away? you must be doing something wrong.
Author Ruby Slippers Posted May 24, 2012 Author Posted May 24, 2012 How about the guy before the Asian guy? He was painted as a keeper by you. Why are these men flying away? you must be doing something wrong. You can be very rude. In each case, I decided he wasn't for me, then rejected. In each case, doing so felt completely right. Bouncer - I really like him. But alas, he is a deadbeat. He should have no problem finding a sugar mama, but that's not me. I told him if he finds the motivation to rise to his greatness, give me a call. But most likely, he won't. Doctor - Emotionally closed, infrequent contact, no emotional connection. Everything was good on paper, but nothing felt right. Asian guy - Similar to the doctor. Very reserved and closed. I couldn't figure out anything that he cares about other than running his business. I care about that, too, but many other things as well. This guy - I'll go on one date and see. And there's a couple of other guys I'm talking to and might go out with. But no more multi-dating for me. So I'll go out with this guy once and see what I think, then proceed from there.
Heart Of A Lion Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 One thing's for certain, not going to divulge my salary online and don't even divulge it to relationship partners unless we're engaged. Crass. I agree. But I didn't claim otherwise.
EasyHeart Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 Another reason I let that slide is that a surprising number of men (in particular) post their income range - and that is all the way from the very low end to the very high. It makes no sense to me why someone would share this information publicly, but a huge percentage of guys on the site do.Do they post it or is it in response to a question prompted by the site?
Pierre Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 You can be very rude. In each case, I decided he wasn't for me, then rejected. In each case, doing so felt completely right. Bouncer - I really like him. But alas, he is a deadbeat. He should have no problem finding a sugar mama, but that's not me. I told him if he finds the motivation to rise to his greatness, give me a call. But most likely, he won't. Doctor - Emotionally closed, infrequent contact, no emotional connection. Everything was good on paper, but nothing felt right. Asian guy - Similar to the doctor. Very reserved and closed. I couldn't figure out anything that he cares about other than running his business. I care about that, too, but many other things as well. This guy - I'll go on one date and see. And there's a couple of other guys I'm talking to and might go out with. But no more multi-dating for me. So I'll go out with this guy once and see what I think, then proceed from there. Sorry for sounding rude Ruby, but I respectfully say you must be doing something wrong. You man radar is way off or you are are acting in the wrong manner during these dates. There is also the possibility you are only attracted to a certain type of man. In any event I am saddened by your inability to find a keeper. You must be looking in the wrong places. I truly believe you need a different plan.
Author Ruby Slippers Posted May 24, 2012 Author Posted May 24, 2012 Do they post it or is it in response to a question prompted by the site? You can elect not to answer it, like any other question. But it seems than many/most of the men answer it. Sorry for sounding rude Ruby, but I respectfully say you must be doing something wrong. You man radar is way off or you are are acting in the wrong manner during these dates. There is also the possibility you are only attracted to a certain type of man. In any event I am saddened by your inability to find a keeper. You must be looking in the wrong places. I truly believe you need a different plan. Well, you're still being rude. I am also saddened by my inability to find a keeper, or I wouldn't be on LS. I'm just getting started dating again, and certainly don't need your judgment and criticism. If that's all you have to offer, I ask that you stay out of my threads.
EasyHeart Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 You can elect not to answer it, like any other question. But it seems than many/most of the men answer it. I'm not an OLDer, but it seems kind of silly to punish men for answering questions posed by the site. It's one thing to brag in a written statement about your car or salary, but it's completely different when you're just answering a set list of questions. Do you equally punish people if they answer "What sign of the zodiac are you?"
Author Ruby Slippers Posted May 24, 2012 Author Posted May 24, 2012 I'm not an OLDer, but it seems kind of silly to punish men for answering questions posed by the site. It's one thing to brag in a written statement about your car or salary, but it's completely different when you're just answering a set list of questions. Do you equally punish people if they answer "What sign of the zodiac are you?" What if the site asked for your penis size or bra size? I know it's the Facebook times - people will give up just about any information if asked. But I would never share my income publicly, whether I made $15,000 a year or a million. And I didn't "punish" him, as some people said they would have done. We had the phone call, and if I get over this annoying cold, I'm sure I'll be meeting him soon.
zengirl Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 I'm not an OLDer, but it seems kind of silly to punish men for answering questions posed by the site. It's one thing to brag in a written statement about your car or salary, but it's completely different when you're just answering a set list of questions. Do you equally punish people if they answer "What sign of the zodiac are you?" From my experience with OLD, most men (rich or poor) that I saw as potential prospects answered the same as I did to that question: Noneyabusiness essentially (usually 'decline to answer').
gaius Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 I don't think it's as much of a red flag as you think. Most men start out presenting whatever they think is their strongest asset. Humor, looks, money, success, whatever. You have to on OLD, it's a competition. His technique may be a little sloppy but I don't think it automatically means he's super insecure. If on the third date he's still spending major time talking about how much he paid for his shoes then you might have a problem.
EasyHeart Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 What if the site asked for your penis size or bra size? I know it's the Facebook times - people will give up just about any information if asked. But I would never share my income publicly, whether I made $15,000 a year or a million. And I didn't "punish" him, as some people said they would have done. We had the phone call, and if I get over this annoying cold, I'm sure I'll be meeting him soon.But everyone doesn't know your secret rules of which questions they're supposed to answer and which ones they're not. I think this is an instance of really overthinking things.
FitChick Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 You're inflating. His salary range is $100 - $150K and while it's decent, it's far from the going "exec" rate. Doesn't it depend on the size of the company, the location and the type of business?
FitChick Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 You can be very rude. In each case, I decided he wasn't for me, then rejected. In each case, doing so felt completely right. Doctor - Emotionally closed, infrequent contact, no emotional connection. Everything was good on paper, but nothing felt right. This has been my experience with dating doctors, as well as my friends' experiences. I don't know why they are considered a good catch unless it's only based on income. In that case, just date a lawyer. I prefer them.
Author Ruby Slippers Posted May 24, 2012 Author Posted May 24, 2012 I met a lawyer recently, and he's been asking me out. But his arrogance and sense of entitlement are big turn-offs, and I told him so. My definitive no hasn't stopped him from coming back around and asking several more times, though. Yet more arrogance.
Author Ruby Slippers Posted May 24, 2012 Author Posted May 24, 2012 I think this is an instance of really overthinking things. Isn't that what LS is for? In any case, I wanted to get a discussion going about the subject, as it keeps coming up with guys with money. No amount of money is going to make me want to be with a guy I don't have good compatibility and a great time with. I wish they would quit wasting time flaunting their material possessions and just let me get to know them.
dasein Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 Just wanted to add that with business owners, including doctors and lawyers with their own practices and salespeople with their own company, the salary rate itself means little. In fact, the lower the salary someone pays themself, the better generally... with exceptions. More important is the health and growth of the business they own and their ability to take advantage of business ownership perqs to enhance their quality of life via tax favored treatment.
gaius Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 In any case, I wanted to get a discussion going about the subject, as it keeps coming up with guys with money. No amount of money is going to make me want to be with a guy I don't have good compatibility and a great time with. I wish they would quit wasting time flaunting their material possessions and just let me get to know them. I don't blame you. That technique works on a lot of women though so I'm not surprised they try to use it. Maybe after getting to know you a little better and seeing you don't like it he'll knock it off.
EasyHeart Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 Isn't that what LS is for? In any case, I wanted to get a discussion going about the subject, as it keeps coming up with guys with money. No amount of money is going to make me want to be with a guy I don't have good compatibility and a great time with. I wish they would quit wasting time flaunting their material possessions and just let me get to know them.No, LS is for calling you out on your over-thinking so that you STOP. Men will stop showing off their money or their athletic prowess or their social charm or whatever other attribute they have when every woman in the world stops caring about whatever the guy has going for him. You don't care about money. Good for you. Probably in your eyes that makes you feel morally superior. But other women do, so men will keep trying to make money. This thread is starting to be a lot like the one with the guy who thinks women should swoon over him because he lives with mommy and daddy.
Author Ruby Slippers Posted May 24, 2012 Author Posted May 24, 2012 I don't blame you. That technique works on a lot of women though so I'm not surprised they try to use it. Maybe after getting to know you a little better and seeing you don't like it he'll knock it off. If he keeps it up, I'm just going to say something like: You don't need to show off your money and things to impress me. I want to get to know you for you, not what you have. 1
Alexanda Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 I agree that is a turn off! It means he is insecure and has a giant ego. I think you should just tell him straight up that you don't care about his wealth and want to get to know him for who he is. See what he says when you say that. 1
Sid6.7 Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 Lists salary as 100K or more -- complains yet talks to him anyway. Doesn't start topic complaining about someone she talked to with salary listed as 20K. A long time I ago when I tried online dating (done with that short lived garbage) I once changed my profile occupation to Doctor for the hell of it. Dr. Sid, MD My inbox tripled. Go figure.
johan Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 Lists salary as 100K or more -- complains yet talks to him anyway. Doesn't start topic complaining about someone she talked to with salary listed as 20K. A long time I ago when I tried online dating (done with that short lived garbage) I once changed my profile occupation to Doctor for the hell of it. Dr. Sid, MD My inbox tripled. Go figure. And yet, you remain alone. You didn't take advantage of the opportunities being a doctor provided?
musemaj11 Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 I agree that is a turn off! It means he is insecure and has a giant ego. I think you should just tell him straight up that you don't care about his wealth and want to get to know him for who he is. See what he says when you say that. Yeah except she does care.
Sid6.7 Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 And yet, you remain alone. You didn't take advantage of the opportunities being a doctor provided? I am not alone by any means. Life is good. As far as your question no, I didn't feel the need to waste my time with girls like that. Looking back I should have it would have been fun. It was just a brief experiment before I closed out the account.
thatoneguy1988 Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 You fellow poor folk might just not understand working for hard for something and achieving it. He's achieved a level of success and he's proud of himself, you sound may more insecure than he does. exactly maybe hes proud of what he has accomplished. A woman that is considered a man for a family or marriage should definately take something like this into prospective, sure you might be more attracted to the ugly deadbeat that hangs out at the skatepark doing drugs but what does he actually have to offer besides some strange attraction you cant understand?
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