socrushed Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 It's been 7 weeks since i've seen her or talked to her. I still think about her every single day. Every time I'm idle or doing something mundane, and every time I'm lying in bed, i'll be thinking about her. The story's like this. i'm a socially awkward shy guy, 24 years old. She's a 30 year old woman with 3 kids. I have little life experience and lived most of my life through a hermit life style of being in my room alone playing games and surfing the internet. She's had tons of experience, having 3 kids and being a divorcee, and an active sex life. i'm a virgin except for when i got a prostitute one time but that doesn't count in my mind. basically i'm pathetic as ****, but when i started my new job 9 months ago and her and i started talking, she would bring me out of my shell. Always so friendly and smiling and laughing, work was a party whenever she was around. I felt very confident around her even though i developed a huge crush on her within 3 days. But I knew she'd never be attracted to me so that allowed me to stay confident and just joke around with her and enjoy her presence. then something changed after a couple months and she started heavily flirting with me. She would do it openly in front of other coworkers, and privately when nobody else was around to hear. touching me, sexual jokes, hinting that she wants to go out with me on valentine's day. i turned her down repeatedly because i was so afraid and anxious. i couldn't tell if she was messing with me or actually serious. anyway, this is getting long so i'll make it short. after a couple weeks of turning her down i asked her out and she said she'd love to. then she would ignore my texts and calls completely and flake. i was so hurt that i cold shouldered her and stopped responding to her completely. one day she asked me what's wrong and if i'm acting so coldly because she didn't go out with me, and she said she's just been really busy and she'd love to go out with me. So I called her one last time, and she brushed me off, and after that i treated her really coldly until i finally got my shift changed. now it's been 7 weeks and she's still on my mind. the feelings are still there. should i call her and tell her how much i love her?
Imported Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 should i call her and tell her how much i love her? No. Absolutely don't do that.
JuneJulySeptember Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 It's been 7 weeks since i've seen her or talked to her. I still think about her every single day. Every time I'm idle or doing something mundane, and every time I'm lying in bed, i'll be thinking about her. The story's like this. i'm a socially awkward shy guy, 24 years old. She's a 30 year old woman with 3 kids. I have little life experience and lived most of my life through a hermit life style of being in my room alone playing games and surfing the internet. She's had tons of experience, having 3 kids and being a divorcee, and an active sex life. i'm a virgin except for when i got a prostitute one time but that doesn't count in my mind. basically i'm pathetic as ****, but when i started my new job 9 months ago and her and i started talking, she would bring me out of my shell. Always so friendly and smiling and laughing, work was a party whenever she was around. I felt very confident around her even though i developed a huge crush on her within 3 days. But I knew she'd never be attracted to me so that allowed me to stay confident and just joke around with her and enjoy her presence. then something changed after a couple months and she started heavily flirting with me. She would do it openly in front of other coworkers, and privately when nobody else was around to hear. touching me, sexual jokes, hinting that she wants to go out with me on valentine's day. i turned her down repeatedly because i was so afraid and anxious. i couldn't tell if she was messing with me or actually serious. anyway, this is getting long so i'll make it short. after a couple weeks of turning her down i asked her out and she said she'd love to. then she would ignore my texts and calls completely and flake. i was so hurt that i cold shouldered her and stopped responding to her completely. one day she asked me what's wrong and if i'm acting so coldly because she didn't go out with me, and she said she's just been really busy and she'd love to go out with me. So I called her one last time, and she brushed me off, and after that i treated her really coldly until i finally got my shift changed. now it's been 7 weeks and she's still on my mind. the feelings are still there. should i call her and tell her how much i love her? That mommy played you like a fiddle. Cut your losses and move on.
Author socrushed Posted May 24, 2012 Author Posted May 24, 2012 That mommy played you like a fiddle. Cut your losses and move on. that's how i felt, that she played me. then I thought back about the first time I met her. i was new to the job and walking around all confused, we work at a warehouse type area. and she didn't even know me and she walked up to me and asked if i was lost and told me what to do and where to go. she's the nicest person i've ever met. would she really "play" me, knowing from my body language and the way i act that i'm shy and have low self esteem?
xpaperxcutx Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 go outt and date people your own age. your inexperience is what makes you naive thus resulting in your so-called " love" for this woman. you don't know what love is until you're actually with someone long enough for you to want to be with them forever.
udolipixie Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 Probably best suited not to call her and tell her how much you love her as I highly doubt you love her perhaps it's more of a clinging to the first gal to give me attention in my lacking experience life as a socially awkward shy guy. It's likely that you love the confidence boost and idea of having someone return your interest. Bit curious if the prostitute visit doesn't count why do it or did you decide afterwards that it didn't count as she was paid or so it's not even considered if telling a gal about your sexual history?
CC12 Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 should i call her and tell her how much i love her? Good god, no. she's the nicest person i've ever met. would she really "play" me, knowing from my body language and the way i act that i'm shy and have low self esteem? Well, don't expect her or anyone else to magically conclude that you have low self-esteem and then expect them to treat you with kid gloves because of it. Would you really want to be treated differently due to your personal issues? Shyness can sometimes be obvious, but you said yourself that you were confident around her. Anyway, she did send you mixed signals, yes. Even nice people are capable of doing that. It probably wasn't some sinister plot designed to screw with your mind, it was probably more that she was just irresponsible with the emotions of someone else. Still not cool, but it is what it is. Don't call her. She was not interested in anything more than flirting with you at work. Now you don't even work together anymore, so I'm sorry to say this to you, but the time she spends thinking of you is probably not even a fraction of the amount of time you spend thinking of her. Time to move on, I think. Whenever you start to think about her, immediately do something to take your mind off it. Read, play a game, jog, work out, watch TV, anything. Just don't devote anymore time or emotional energy to her. It's not good for you, and she doesn't want it anyway.
SJC2008 Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 Work on "learning" your emotions. You do not love this woman. She probably struck an emotional cord with her niceness which tells me you either never get attention from women or have mommy issues. I'm not judging you and I could be wrong. The last girl I dated was attractive and funny, we had 2 great dates and the 3rd was mediocre. She got a little attitude a couple of times and hardly talked. I liked her more than ever and was crushed bc things didn't pan out. When I was trying to figure why I liked her so much more after a bad 3rd date a light bulb went off. She was reading the menu to me like a woman reading to her kid (I told her she reads good aloud). I didn't pick up on it until after. Anyway, that triggered an EMITIONAL reaction, affection. BUT she probably would not have been good for me because she was very subtle and I'm big on communication and if she was a bitch twice on a 3rd date when people still have "their best foot forward" how moody is she? Mabye it's a good thing I never found out Not trying to go off on a tangent but learn about what makes you tick. I learned from this exp (even though she rejected me) to not let that warm and fuzzy feeling overide my logic, which I may have if she didn't do me the favor of rejecting me.
Author socrushed Posted May 24, 2012 Author Posted May 24, 2012 alright, look, i understand this. I've talked in my head about this every single day, that my emotions are completely irrational, that i barely even know who she really is, and it's ridiculous that I feel so strongly about her and I need to meet new people. Every day I try to think about what activities I would do to forget about her. From the moment she told me she'd love to go out with me the second time when it was a complete lie, I made it a goal to get over her. That was about 8 weeks ago. The feelings are still nearly as strong. It's gotten better, but not by much. I guess what I'm saying is.... don't I miss 100% of the chances that I don't take? Is there at least a non zero percent chance that something positive will come if I call her and tell her everything? damn what the ****, typing up all this is intensifying my feelings and bringing back even more memories.
Author socrushed Posted May 24, 2012 Author Posted May 24, 2012 Good god, no. Well, don't expect her or anyone else to magically conclude that you have low self-esteem and then expect them to treat you with kid gloves because of it. Would you really want to be treated differently due to your personal issues? Shyness can sometimes be obvious, but you said yourself that you were confident around her. btw, when she was flirting openly with me in front of people and I would squirm and stumble and stutter, the first thing someone said was "awwww he's shy". I think my shyness was quite apparent. I actually would really like to know wtf she was thinking. What was she hoping to accomplish by continuously flirting with me when I was clearly shy/uncomfortable but enjoying it since I was giving that sheepish smile? Becuase she wasn't interested in dating me... so was it really just because it amused her to mess with my head? She's been around the dating game, she knows how much it hurts to be led on. And she's a nice person who goes out of her way to help others and wouldn't want to hurt anyone's feelings.... so I absolutely don't understand what she was thinking.
Oxy Moronovich Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 Think logically, man. She's 30 with 3 kids. That's not the type of woman you should get with. End it asap.
Freddys Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 It's been 7 weeks since i've seen her or talked to her. I still think about her every single day. Every time I'm idle or doing something mundane, and every time I'm lying in bed, i'll be thinking about her. The story's like this. i'm a socially awkward shy guy, 24 years old. She's a 30 year old woman with 3 kids. I have little life experience and lived most of my life through a hermit life style of being in my room alone playing games and surfing the internet. She's had tons of experience, having 3 kids and being a divorcee, and an active sex life. i'm a virgin except for when i got a prostitute one time but that doesn't count in my mind. basically i'm pathetic as ****, but when i started my new job 9 months ago and her and i started talking, she would bring me out of my shell. Always so friendly and smiling and laughing, work was a party whenever she was around. I felt very confident around her even though i developed a huge crush on her within 3 days. But I knew she'd never be attracted to me so that allowed me to stay confident and just joke around with her and enjoy her presence. then something changed after a couple months and she started heavily flirting with me. She would do it openly in front of other coworkers, and privately when nobody else was around to hear. touching me, sexual jokes, hinting that she wants to go out with me on valentine's day. i turned her down repeatedly because i was so afraid and anxious. i couldn't tell if she was messing with me or actually serious. anyway, this is getting long so i'll make it short. after a couple weeks of turning her down i asked her out and she said she'd love to. then she would ignore my texts and calls completely and flake. i was so hurt that i cold shouldered her and stopped responding to her completely. one day she asked me what's wrong and if i'm acting so coldly because she didn't go out with me, and she said she's just been really busy and she'd love to go out with me. So I called her one last time, and she brushed me off, and after that i treated her really coldly until i finally got my shift changed. now it's been 7 weeks and she's still on my mind. the feelings are still there. should i call her and tell her how much i love her? Once again the "virginity" issue . . . Look people what's going on when someone feels various chemical substances for the very first time.
Author socrushed Posted May 24, 2012 Author Posted May 24, 2012 Think logically, man. She's 30 with 3 kids. That's not the type of woman you should get with. End it asap. that's not the main issue.. she's the nicest person i've ever met. so what if she's older and has kids? Once again the "virginity" issue . . . Look people what's going on when someone feels various chemical substances for the very first time. This is far from the first time i've had a big infatuation on someone.
xpaperxcutx Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 I think it would be more reasonable if you had an ons and then wonder what happened it's ridiculous to pine after someone you 've never been with.
TheFinalWord Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 that's not the main issue.. she's the nicest person i've ever met. so what if she's older and has kids? This is far from the first time i've had a big infatuation on someone. She's the nicest person you've ever met, yet she shuns you, ignores you, and leads you on? If that's your definition of the nicest person you've ever met, then wow...
Author socrushed Posted May 24, 2012 Author Posted May 24, 2012 She's the nicest person you've ever met, yet she shuns you, ignores you, and leads you on? If that's your definition of the nicest person you've ever met, then wow... well i don't know what happened, because that was so incredibly out of character for her. before that, she's treated me with nothing but kindness and respect... it brings up the question of did she do this unintentionally? maybe she was telling the truth when she said she was really busy and would love to go out with me, and maybe when i called her to follow up on that and she brushed me off, i just caught her at a bad time. and if I just call her one last time and tell her i love her maybe she'll understand..
sid3 Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 if I just call her one last time and tell her i love her maybe she'll understand.. Maybe she will. I say go for it. It sounds like you need the closure.
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