Yvelysse Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 Hiya, I heave read this BBS for a while and now I'm curious about something that has me in an emotional bind. I have a Friend I love and adore, he likes me enough to be my roomate, platonically, and I accept that. Now the issue is he really does not want me sexually active with anyone yet he wants no commitment?? So I am confused, especially with some mixed signals I get. I want to give up and JUST be his friend, but my heart still lingers on his profile, His stance and all I am attracted to in him. I would be content as his friend, and have a guy I'd date, til he decides IF he wants to have a go with me. I'm in no hurry! Any opinions?
betterdeal Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 Now the issue is he really does not want me sexually active with anyone yet he wants no commitment?? But that is a commitment (to celibacy for his sake) so maybe worth pointing that out to him. If you feel comfortable doing so, tell him how you feel about him. Being candid about your feelings may get past what I suspect may be a dose of shyness on his part. And probably worth doing this before living together.
writergal Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 (edited) Don't give up. Just need to figure things out first. The best place to start is by having an open, straight forward conversation with this male friend. After all, you're about to become roommates with a man you have romantic feelings for because of the mixed signals he's sent you. Otherwise, the quickest solution to your problem is not be roommates with him and then find a time when you can sit down together and determine how to define your relationship so that you can both be happy with the boundaries between you. Also, mixed signals are never good. Those need to be addressed. Don't be afraid to be honest and open with him. Good luck. Hiya, I heave read this BBS for a while and now I'm curious about something that has me in an emotional bind. I have a Friend I love and adore, he likes me enough to be my roomate, platonically, and I accept that. Now the issue is he really does not want me sexually active with anyone yet he wants no commitment?? So I am confused, especially with some mixed signals I get. I want to give up and JUST be his friend, but my heart still lingers on his profile, His stance and all I am attracted to in him. I would be content as his friend, and have a guy I'd date, til he decides IF he wants to have a go with me. I'm in no hurry! Any opinions? Edited May 24, 2012 by writergal
Author Yvelysse Posted May 30, 2012 Author Posted May 30, 2012 (edited) We have been roomies for the past year (plus) now. Platonically. . . In our most recent move a neighbor became 'interested' in him. She questioned how we could be living together and YET be platonic. She insinuated we were just not admitting our relationship. He told her we were occasionally lovers. Which I denied. We had not been sexually active for over a year, and we had agreed we would just keep ourselves casual. (I.E. no sex) That night he slept with me. Then he did so again a couple of nights later. {Mixed Signals} Supposedly (according to him) this was to keep the nosy neighbor away. Later in the month, when I asked him if he could appease my growing ''friskiness" he said I wasn't a cat and he wanted nothing to do with sex and nearly bitched me out. He stated he felt he had to 'put out' to stay in the apartment. I said he was here because he pays half the bills and he is my friend. He seems to get agitated whenever I discuss sex, commitment or my libido. it's like we switched roles *cough*. Then the next night he slept with me. :bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny: i'm confuzzled obviously. What do I do? This is why I want to give up. Just be his friend and i dunno what after that. My stupid heart fell for him before I had a chance to react. I was in a 30+ year relationship before I met him, so I know commitment. He is a self proclaimed womanizer (reformed). I want to wait but I want to flee as well. I really won't cry if he were to dump me as long as we stayed JUST FRIENDS, but this back 'n' forth ping-pong with my emotions is a lil more than I think I can handle. *Edit* I was doing all the right things, telling people we are JUST friends and keeping myself out of the party scene. I also went as far as making sure none knew of my emotions for him. No longing looks, no double entanders, nothing to cast a suspicion I have feelings for him. It was what we agreed on And I kept up my end of the bargain. What happened? Edited May 30, 2012 by Yvelysse something needed to be added for clairity
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