gibson Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 (edited) Ladies, I would love for you to comment and add whatever you would like to the following conversation / questions that I was posed within a thread. Lol man. Are you a woman disguised as a male poster? Because I am a guy, this male poster would like to hear from you, the women. Off we go... You sound very young so let me share with you some advice, knowledge and wisdom on "The Secret" to attracting and keeping the attraction with woman. I am a guy but my "spidey senses" are picking up traces of desperation, neediness, trying to hard, you trying to be the person you think your date wants, you taking yourself and dating way to seriously, etc. Now a woman's "spidey senses" are 1,000 times better than mine. Women can spot a man with the above "qualities" a mile away. They find them unappealing and are not attracted to them. My advice / "The Secret" 1. Get your self-worth, self-esteem, self-image, confidence, "mojo", identity, validation, approval, etc. from within. 2. Have a life / adventure / passions / goals / dreams / etc. that are your own and that you actively pursue instead of trying to make a woman your EVERYTHING. 3. Character, integrity, security, values, morals, sense of humor, sense of adventure, fun, confidence, respect, leadership, etc. play a major role / influence (much more than looks) on who women are attracted too, date, enter into relationships with, fall in love with and marry. 4. Be yourself. 5. Invite a woman to share and take part in your life / adventure / passions / goals / dreams / etc. Once you learn and do all of that, you will have my kind of success. I mean a woman appreciates those things in a guy. Any woman that is worth a crap that you date, enter into a relationship with or marry will not just "appreciate" those things in a guy. They WANT, NEED, SEEK, DESIRE, LONG FOR, etc. those things with all their heart, mind, body and soul. It's just that she has multiple guys chasing after her, so even if you have some of those things that match with her, you're competing with another guy who has matching stuff too or is better looking, etc. If you "ARE" what I tell you to become you will never think, worry about, consider or be threatened by another guy ever again. And she will choose. No she won't... there isn't a choice to make as far as she is concerned. Edited May 24, 2012 by gibson 1
pteromom Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 I agree with your "secret" for the most part. I think that young and young-minded women are more likely to go just off looks and pretty words a man says to her, but once they get burned a few times, they typically start paying more attention to integrity and values. I think your "secret" is good advice for life in general. Be yourself and like yourself. Be honest. Keep balance in your life. Share your life with someone else. But I don't think that having those characteristics guarantees that someone will be attracted to you or will stay attracted. Humans are too complex for it to boil down to a formula. 2
Author gibson Posted May 24, 2012 Author Posted May 24, 2012 But I don't think that having those characteristics guarantees that someone will be attracted to you or will stay attracted. Humans are too complex for it to boil down to a formula. Thanks your input! I do not intend for it sound like a formula that "scores you woman"... It's more of a peek into a Man to Man discussion about how to be a man. This overall intent is to help this young man understand what he needs to do, where he needs to be within himself and his life so he can have the correct approach, outlook, mindset, attitude, qualities, etc. that woman will find attractive and desirable. 1
Disenchantedly Yours Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 Great advice Gibson! I think you got a really outstanding understanding of what women like. Can I ask how you came to learn these things and how old you are?
Author gibson Posted May 24, 2012 Author Posted May 24, 2012 Great advice Gibson! I think you got a really outstanding understanding of what women like. Can I ask how you came to learn these things and how old you are? I am 40 and the answer to your other question... 1. My Parents and their relationship. The "Love Map" I "inherited" from them by watching and experiencing the love and respect they had for themselves and each other. 2. I have 4 sisters and a mother all of which are very strong willed. I learned quite a bit from having a close relationship with them all. 3. I have dated a lot and been in several LTR. 4. I have read countless books on Dating, Relationships, Marriage, Love, Woman, Men, etc. 5. My faith <Zips up Flame suit> It is my belief... That God made Men and Women to be alike in many ways so we can understand each other (I can already imagine the flames coming my way on this comment) but our "natures" are somewhat different so we can complement each other. God "sprinkled" both genders with all his qualities, characteristics, affections, skills, gifts, etc. However, if you look at each gender (in general and not as a whole), God blessed women with "more" of "certain" ones than say a man is and vice versa. I will list below just some of qualities and characteristics used to describe God and let you figure out where they are "even" and which gender (in general and not as a whole) has "more" of one than the other: Forgiving, Protector, Provider, Forgiving, Decisive, Merciful, Comforting, Intimate, Mender, Giving, Leadership, Beauty, Compassionate, Caring, Kind, Wisdom, Powerful, Tender, Vigilant, Yearning, Inspiring, Creative, Wholesome, Vulnerable, Hospitable, Selfless, Empathetic, Communicative, Jealous, Gentle, Gracious, Dependable, Wondrous, Sympathetic, Passionate, Graceful, etc. For Example: Woman have many strengths / blessings / abilities / talents and a "nature" of which I am in awe of, respect and admire. These complement what you could say are my weaknesses / shortcomings / not in my "nature", etc. and vice versa. I also believe Corinthians 13:4-7 perfectly describes what Love is or better yet... what it DOES! (it also tells you what it isn't and what it doesn't do) Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ I believe it's those relationships, experiences, reading and what I have learned through my faith as to the reason why I think, feel and believe what I do about dating, relationships, men and woman.
JuneJulySeptember Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 I am 40 and the answer to your other question... 1. My Parents and their relationship. The "Love Map" I "inherited" from them by watching and experiencing the love and respect they had for themselves and each other. 2. I have 4 sisters and a mother all of which are very strong willed. I learned quite a bit from having a close relationship with them all. 3. I have dated a lot and been in several LTR. 4. I have read countless books on Dating, Relationships, Marriage, Love, Woman, Men, etc. 5. My faith <Zips up Flame suit> It is my belief... That God made Men and Women to be alike in many ways so we can understand each other (I can already imagine the flames coming my way on this comment) but our "natures" are somewhat different so we can complement each other. God "sprinkled" both genders with all his qualities, characteristics, affections, skills, gifts, etc. However, if you look at each gender (in general and not as a whole), God blessed women with "more" of "certain" ones than say a man is and vice versa. I will list below just some of qualities and characteristics used to describe God and let you figure out where they are "even" and which gender (in general and not as a whole) has "more" of one than the other: Forgiving, Protector, Provider, Forgiving, Decisive, Merciful, Comforting, Intimate, Mender, Giving, Leadership, Beauty, Compassionate, Caring, Kind, Wisdom, Powerful, Tender, Vigilant, Yearning, Inspiring, Creative, Wholesome, Vulnerable, Hospitable, Selfless, Empathetic, Communicative, Jealous, Gentle, Gracious, Dependable, Wondrous, Sympathetic, Passionate, Graceful, etc. For Example: Woman have many strengths / blessings / abilities / talents and a "nature" of which I am in awe of, respect and admire. These complement what you could say are my weaknesses / shortcomings / not in my "nature", etc. and vice versa. I also believe Corinthians 13:4-7 perfectly describes what Love is or better yet... what it DOES! (it also tells you what it isn't and what it doesn't do) Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ I believe it's those relationships, experiences, reading and what I have learned through my faith as to the reason why I think, feel and believe what I do about dating, relationships, men and woman. I'm not even that much younger than you. I think you have met a lot of good women in your life and I think you are lucky. You're probably also pretty decent looking which helped. Maybe if I hung out in church too I'd meet more decent gals, but I'm just not religious.
Author gibson Posted May 24, 2012 Author Posted May 24, 2012 (edited) Maybe if I hung out in church too I'd meet more decent gals, but I'm just not religious. Charity Events, Volunteer, Community Service Projects, Fundraisers, etc. in general attract people who are thoughtful, generous, selfless, kind, giving, etc. All of those are a lot of fun, you meet amazing people (both men and women) and make a difference in your community or someones life. For Example: I volunteered at Habitat for Humanity project several weekends ago and met probably 50 quality woman (I'd say 30% were hot, 20% attractive, 10% cute) and got several phone numbers. My only problem was which hottie to ask out first. Ladies, there were a lot of eligible good looking quality guys there too. In fact, I was trying to set several up with my one of my sisters. Once you get involved in a few... You get asked to do / participate all kinds of things like black tie events, Charity Auctions, etc. from other groups and organizations. I get probably 2 or 3 emails a week of upcoming events they want me to attend or help at. If you ask me or my friends, these events and the people you meet blow online dating, clubs and bars out of the water! So let's bring this back to my OP... My advice / "The Secret" Attending Charity Events, Volunteering, Community Service Projects, Fundraisers, Black Tie Events, etc. is a lot fun, REWARDING, you see / feel / explore the "good" sides of yourself, are thanked over and over which only helps to build the following: 1. Get your self-worth, self-esteem, self-image, confidence, "mojo", identity, validation, approval, etc. from within. Attending Charity Events, Volunteering, Community Service Projects, Fundraisers, Black Tie Events, etc. fills up a good portion of my Social Calendar, it's something that I enjoy doing, it's adventurous, etc. Without planning or thinking and since I am "plugged in" I also get invited to 2 or 3 future events about every week which adds to the following: 2. Have a life / adventure / passions / goals / dreams / etc. that are your own and that you actively pursue instead of trying to make a woman your EVERYTHING. Obviously I am demonstrating and putting the following to use: 3. Character, integrity, security, values, morals, sense of humor, sense of adventure, fun, confidence, respect, leadership, etc. play a major role / influence (much more than looks) on who women are attracted too, date, enter into relationships with, fall in love with and marry. Since I am being / doing 1, 2 and 3 all I know how to do is... 4. Be yourself. So a meet a couple of woman (there are always new people) at specific Charity Event, Volunteering, Community Service Project, Fundraiser, Black Tie Event, etc. I now have other types / kinds of Charity Events, Volunteering, Community Service Projects, Fundraisers, Black Tie Events, etc. lined up where I can... 5. Invite a woman to share and take part in your life / adventure / passions / goals / dreams / etc. I have yet to have a woman complain or not enjoy herself doing this on a "date". It's a good break from the typical Dinner, Movie, Bar, etc. routine. Do you see how this works? Edited May 24, 2012 by gibson 2
JuneJulySeptember Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 Charity Events, Volunteer, Community Service Projects, Fundraisers, etc. in general attract people who are thoughtful, generous, selfless, kind, giving, etc. All of those are a lot of fun, you meet amazing people (both men and women) and make a difference in your community or someones life. For Example: I volunteered at Habitat for Humanity project several weekends ago and met probably 50 quality woman (I'd say 30% were hot, 20% attractive, 10% cute) and got several phone numbers. My only problem was which hottie to ask out first. Ladies, there were a lot of eligible good looking quality guys there too. In fact, I was trying to set several up with my one of my sisters. Once you get involved in a few... You get asked to do / participate all kinds of things like black tie events, Charity Auctions, etc. from other groups and organizations. I get probably 2 or 3 emails a week of upcoming events they want me to attend or help at. If you ask me or my friends, these events and the people you meet blow online dating, clubs and bars out of the water! So let's bring this back to my OP... That is not a bad idea. Your OP made it sound like all women prefer content and character over looks and attitude. Totally false. I know some women do. They can be hard to find. Thanks for the advice.
Author gibson Posted May 24, 2012 Author Posted May 24, 2012 Your OP made it sound like all women prefer content and character over looks and attitude. Totally false. I know some women do. They can be hard to find. Try what I suggest above and give it an honest run. It takes some up front work to get "plugged in" and find the right "places" for you. What you are going to find though, is these woman you seek... are very easy to find. What I think will surprise you, is the quality and how attractive these woman are on the inside and out.
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