Magpie_x Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 it's apparently "all my fault" he's "given me chance after chance an you always screw it up" i can't cope with that i think thats why i can't move on :'(
xenomorph Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 When people talk like that, it's usually gaslighting. Anyone who doesn't take any responsibility for the dissolution of a relationship is probably more at fault for it than the person they're blaming. Remember that! Are you still discussion the relationship with an ex??
fucpcg Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 My ex pulled the same thing on me. Really hurts to hear someone say that. I've been lost in self help books ever since. One thing that always stands out to me that I read is "Always take 100% responsibility for 50% of the breakup". My ex got a TON wrong.... yes so did I to. Somehow, she forgot all she got wrong when she broke up with me. How convenient.
Author Magpie_x Posted May 23, 2012 Author Posted May 23, 2012 When people talk like that, it's usually gaslighting. Anyone who doesn't take any responsibility for the dissolution of a relationship is probably more at fault for it than the person they're blaming. Remember that! Are you still discussion the relationship with an ex?? i think that sometimes cos he was also at fault but he makes me believe i was to blame we're not really talking, ive decided im going to do NC cos it will shock him (not doing it for that reason. i just cant shake it off, it makes me feel guilty an he isn't, he said last week we should forget about the past and everything sort of mutual way, but i can't get rid of him saying it was all me i've ALWAYS apologised for everything ive done when i know i've been in the wrong,however never recieved an apology from him :'(
BewitchedandBothered Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 it's apparently "all my fault" he's "given me chance after chance an you always screw it up" i can't cope with that i think thats why i can't move on :'( You have been gaslighted and it takes time to detox from that. It took me 18 months to get through that mess. When they do that, it is them projecting. They are unhappy with themselves and, well, for lack of a better expression, misery loves company. It's not about you, it is about your ex. When they don't take responsibility for any of their actions, there is a situation, and one that you must extricate yourself from. It will take time, and lots of it, for you to heal--you will wonder, analyze, probably have a cry now and then---but you will heal from it. He is toxic. A sane mind cannot be wrapped around insane actions. Take your heart and soul and move on from this tool.
Rorschach64 Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 Even if you did everything perfect, which you might have, you'd still always feel like you could have done more....maybe done something wrong and so forth. Outside of that, it is easier to blame someone else than looking at yourself. I can sympathize with not recieving an apology even after apologizing yourself but would it really matter in the end? Would it change anything? 1
Recommended Posts