speedway1 Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 So here is my story. My GF and I have been together for about a year and a half. We live together. Relationship is great although she has had some trying times with health and depression. Here is the issue. I have been cheated on by my ex wife. This has made me hypersensitive to things being hidden. Last spring she was in the hospital, this was prior to us living together. I spent all my time there when I wasn't taking care of my kids which I have roughly half the time. Soon after she was released from the hospital she decided that she needed a week to clear her mind. She didnt know what she wanted. Long story short, we were back on track a week later. A few months later she told me she had been in contact with an ex. Someone she had been seeing up to a few weeks before we got togehter. She also told me she had been in contact with him during her hospital stay last spring. Yes, the same one when I was there looking after her and doing everything for her. I told her that doing so behind my back hurt me and was unacceptable to me. She apologized for hurting me and said she felt guilty for movinng on and wanted to check in with him. During the conversation in the hospital she didn't mention that we were together. She also has a habit of talking to her ex husband and hiding it from me. Sometimes she will tell me she spoke to him but never when it happens. Always after the fact. She also deleted her text conversations with him and never talks to him when I'm around. Fast forward to today, I see an email that she reached out to the same ex BF asking how he was doing and sending him her phone number and obviously email adress. I am livid. She promised me she would never contact him again and here we go again. I don't know how to apporaoch this. I don't really understand her reason for doing this. Thoughts? Do I talk to her about this or do I just keep quiet? Am I right to be upset or crazy?
Author speedway1 Posted May 23, 2012 Author Posted May 23, 2012 My apologies. It is. Wasn't sure where the correct placement was. Feel free to ignore chime in.
make me believe Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 She's going behind your back to initiate contact with her ex's and then lying to you about it. What more do you need to know? She isn't trustworthy and is apparently unhappy or not satisfied with your relationship and is probably romanticising what she had with her ex. You are absolutely right to be upset!! This is totally unacceptable and I would end the relationship if I was you. She has shown you MANY times that you cannot trust her and that she is probably not going to be faithful to you in the long run. IF she even has up until now -- where was she staying at for the week she needed to "clear her mind"?? You can't tell me that you believe she didn't see her ex during that time...
Author speedway1 Posted May 23, 2012 Author Posted May 23, 2012 She stayed at her brother's about an hour out of the city. Of course to the best of my knowledge. I could be naive but I don't really think getting back is what she's after. My question is what sort of validation would she need from him? Why reach out? I know that I would never do that myself. Golden rule, you know?
TigerCub Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 I think her packed suitcases waiting for her by the door would make the best statement. Why should you put up with someone that will outright just lie to you? When she questions what her stuff is doing by the door you tell her you know about the contact, you know that she promised you something then went right out and broke that promise and you know that she wasn't planning on telling you about it - so what's the point of this relationship. See what she does. If she sees you're serious - maybe she'll learn a lesson If she's willing to go - then let her. You've been with her for 1.5 years - fine, I get that you don't want all that to just be tossed aside so easily, but do you honestly want to live the rest of your life with a person that's going to lie to you and make you wonder who she's with, what she says, if she's ever honest or sincere? Its up to you...
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