smint Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 I decided to make a first move,to call my ex who left me almost 2,5 months ago after 7 years of relationship.He is not contacting me at all.At first he was contacting me,asking me how I am,but I was so desperate talking with him,and he became more cruel,more I was crying to him on the phone.So I decided to go to NC,I am on NC for 27 days.My head is clear now,I will not act desperately and needy,as I acted,I really want him as a friend,I don't want to lose him forever.I want to try to talk with him.But what if he doesn't respond???
january2011 Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 he became more cruel,more I was crying to him on the phone Why would you want to keep someone like that as a friend? The nature of your post suggests that your head is not clear. 27 days is admirable but in your case, is still not enough. I suggest going another month and then reviewing the situation again. You are not ready to make the first move and will most likely backslide if you try to contact him now.
Own Worst Enemy Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 if he contacts you, then you can think about whether to reply. otherwise stick to NC. i am no-one to preach, since i lasted precisely 4 days before he contacted me, and am revving up to go through it all again. but i would never have contacted him first.
Author smint Posted May 23, 2012 Author Posted May 23, 2012 maybe U R right!But,in a month in a half I will go aboard to work,and live there,I wouldn't like to go,and stay forever apart from someone I shared my life for 7 years...
nanbullen Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 I agree with January, I don't think you are being honest with yourself when you say you have a clear head in regards to your ex. Is your head clear enough that if he doesn't respond you'll just say "oh well" and go on with your day? What if he responds and tells you he's seeing someone else? I feel your pain. I am fighting the urge to call my ex, who also stopped contacting me or taking my calls, so I know how hard it is. But I realize i don't have a clear head and what he might say to me will have an effect on me because i still love him. Or maybe,not love, but codependent attachment. Anyway, stay strong and remember if he wanted to talk to you he would call you.
Author smint Posted May 23, 2012 Author Posted May 23, 2012 True,I don't know how I would handle it,if he tells me that he has somebody new in his life...
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