Birdnals1987 Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 I am in grad school. I ask a classmate, 'Elise', out. Great first date, so so second date. She says she can't date anyone after the second date. The second date was one of those off nights, it wasn't a disaster, but the date was on the fly, you know how that goes. Two weeks later she invites me to a party. The party was a blast, and after the party she took me back to her appartment. This was around Halloween, so later I invited her to another party. I thought she was into me, so did others around me. Later that week I ask her out again, thinking she had changed her mind. OOPS. This leads to an awkard 180 change in her demeanor, leading her to unfriend me on Facebook. I don't know what I did, I was very careful to avoid the 'nice guy' stuff, I did not creep her out I don't think, we had a lot of fun hanging out and many people told me that we seemed to be into each other. I am quite certian I did not do anything that would merit this complete reversal, because I would have been horrified if I did. I have read and heard about 'nice guys' that are like "she is dating a jerk, I am so much better than him, she should date me!" In no way do I want to be that guy, so I hope I am not giving off those vibes. I haven't been able to forgive myself for messing up. She then dates another classmate who she eventually complains of being immature and selfish, her words, not mine. In January I apologize to her (still trying to figure out what I did), and she unfriends the other guy around this time. Yes, I know Facebook is not 'real' but that seemed pretty drastic. She wanted to send a message I guess. In Feburary, she likes two things I post on Facebook, once again I understand it's Facebook and I am not trying to read into it, but if she unfriended me she obviously did not want to talk to me then, and you would think given our history she would not want to interact with me at all. I found this to be extremely odd, it was the first time she interacted with me on the site. Being a regular 24 year old guy I make dumb jokes all the time, so why now? The likes were within an hour of each other and extremely fast (like within five minutes of me hitting submit, almost as if she was camped out on my page) , and she was the first grad student to do so. In March she liked another post, once again the first and only grad student to do so, and commented on yet another one. A group of us went to a bar one day after class, she was there. She came up to me and had a conversation. I was cordial and polite, but quickly went back to the group conversation. I was later talking to her friend "Rose", and 'Elise' texts Rose asking Rose what the two of us were talking about. I also notice when we are in a group over the past few months she looks at me, or steals glances at me. She will often walk in front of me, like darting in front of me, and linger near my desk for a while in class, not too long but enough for me to notice. Then, a week ago, she says to another mutual friend, “ I know Birdnals1987 is ignoring me, but it won't work to get me back.“ I was stunned by this, I am not ignoring her, why would I go out of my way to make conversation to a woman who rejected me and I mortified myself to? Does this make any sense? And if it is not working...why even mention it at all? Should I talk to her about it, or is there even a point in doing so? I get the feeling if I did talk to her, she would be like OMG why is he talking to me? I really can't say ah hah! you are acting weird, because that would make me look crazy. I don't know what to do. She seemed to really like me, and I was careful not to be a jerk to her, she had fun when we hung out, I mean why invite me to the party, AND let me sleep over? Unless I was just an ego boost for her and that night she needed a pick me up, but people really aren't like that right?
aisle_seat Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 People ARE like that - they do take advantage of others when they need a pick-me-up. I have first hand knowledge of that. As for what you should do - I would absolutely not talk to her about her behavior or what her intentions are. I think you played it just right when you saw her in the bar and have since. If she talks to you, be polite and engaging but otherwise keep your distance. She sounds a little immature to me, let her play her games; you just stay above it.
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