Johnny85 Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 Hello all. Some of you may remember my story: I dated this girl between September and December. I was totally into her and she was playing games, sending mixed signals, etc. I continued pursuing, although she would just continue rejecting me. Then, out of the blue, she would ask me out to the movies. The very last time we went out, she basically ignored me all evening until another girl started talking to me (then she came inbetween and broke us apart). So, long story short, I decided to ask her via text directly if she was into me via text; she did not respond for a week. Then I texted her again about picking up something at her work (she owed me a check) and i asked her to mail it to me. She responded by saying, "why you don't wanna see me?" I just told her that it would be nice if she actually responded to my texts. Let's just keep it professional. We essentially stopped talking for 4 months till I ran into her at a bar in April. She smiled at me and I smiled back but I didn't go up to her. She saw several girls flirting with me and she knew one of the girls so she walked over to say hello to the girls. One of the girls said, "doesn't he look like (certain celebrity)." she just said sure and walked away. One month later, a few days ago actually, I bump into her again. She was clearly avoiding me. (let me reiterate that for the four months that we dated she I chased her like a puppy dog, which makes me sick but I really liked her). So I decided to drop every millimeter of pride that I had in my system and I called her over to me. She comes over to chat. Evidently she knew the guy i was with. We all chat for a bit. To break it down, essentially Here is what happened: She invited us over to her table (she started shaking peoples' hands to say goodbye to them. She shook my friend's hand, then she shakes my hand and I say it was nice seeing her but she says she wasn't leaving and invited us over to her table). she invited my friend to go hiking. No way I was getting up at 7 on a Sunday to hike. Lol she actually admitted out loud that we use to date by saying that we were dragged to a strip club on our first date. I may be way off on this one, but I think she likes to always be the centre of attention and when this other girl who is into me (she thinks I look like a certain celebrity) came up to our table and started talking, she rolled her eyes. She obviously saw another girl showing me attention and got jealous. Is this a conceited conclusion? Perhaps! But she knows that this girl likes me. She saw pics of us on FB (I am sure). Why roll her eyes when a perfectly nice girl is talking?? Girls like guys that other girls like!!! she wanted to meet my friend next weekend who is flying in from out of town. She said to text her to set up plans. she complimented me on my shirt and asked where i bought it. Lol I was talking to this one guy at our table And I made a comment and she rolled her eyes @ me. Really? Lol she went to an after party that evening and didn't invite us. That's cool; she was having a girls night out. at one point While sitting at the table, she made a comment that they were having a girls night out. I said "how is that working for ya?" she responded, "fine until all the guys showed up, pointing to us and joking, I suppose. she was nice to me, I suppose, but was kinda not sending me the eye signals that a girl sends a guy she really likes. It happened a few times but that was about it. And once when she saw I looked at her in that way, she gave my friend that look (he's average looking but very alpha and confident). Mind games? Maybe! But it could also have been a way for her to tell me "I AM NOT INTO YOU AT ALL!!!" So I suppose I feel a bit confused now. I suppose I feel like my pride is still standing tall. I chased her like a chump and she just played games with my heart. On the other hand, I did really like her and still find her to be really cool. Will she reject my invite? It's not about being assertive and going after what I want, but she sent so many mixed signals in the past that I don't really know what to think? I would really like her to join us and just let go of the past (not for a relationship but just to have fun. What do y'all think? Thanks.
d'Arthez Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 Don't bother with her. Don't even expend an ounce of emotional energy on her.
Radu Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 What pride ? The fact that you let this girl get the better of you, let her be the center of attention and even attempts to pussyblock you [cockblocking is when a guy blocks another guy from trying to woo a girl], shows that you have no more pride. Your end question is about what she will do. How come this girl that treated you like this, in a few short minutes became the center of your reality, of your world ? Avoid her, treat her like a business aquaintance. Oh, and she invited the guy to hiking to make you jealous, to play with you. When she rolled her eyes at the other girl, did she cross her arms or just one ?
Author Johnny85 Posted May 23, 2012 Author Posted May 23, 2012 Well I had a lot of pride until just a few days ago. I wasnt paying attention to her body language but it was clear that it was in reference to the girl who sat down at the table (who is sweet and nice but a bit of a flirt). This girl who I dated is very good with people and usually has an open and inviting body language. Oh and she invited me too to go hiking. But she would look at my friend in a flirtatious way. Hmmm! Do you think she got jealous of the other girl and did she look at my friend like that to make me jealous? At one point she asked for his number in front of me; did she do this to make me jealous?
d'Arthez Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 She is playing games with you. Who knows what her motives are. Frankly, you should not even care. You can do better than this girl, who has been playing mind games for almost a year now. Just cut her out of your life completely.
Radu Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 I think she's a control freak, going by what she put you through those few months when you chased her. And control freaks are quite insecure, that's why they need to feel in control. Check to see how many friends she has on FB, i'm kinda curious. In case i didn't make myself clear, this girl has not and will not change. She will continue to put you through hell, and she is trying to make you chase her again.
Author Johnny85 Posted May 23, 2012 Author Posted May 23, 2012 She has a gazillion friends on fb. Haha Like I said, she is very good with ppl and always has to be in the center of the attention. I guess it would boost my ego a bit to think that she was trying to get me to chase her again. But I should point out that at the beginning of the evening she was avoiding me like the plague. And she hasn't once initiated a text convo with me during the last four months. And she really didn't give me the look at all during the evening, although she did tease me once. Oh and she is very outgoing, so maybe she just wanted to establish a new contact by asking for his number? And she made a joke, looked at him with the "look" and looked briefly at me and them him again. I am big on body language and the way a girl looks at me and behaves and body language is huge. All I know is that the other girl who joined didnt do anything to her to make her roll her eyes. Lol so why else would she do it (other than the fact that she knew this other girl liked me)?
Radu Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 Rule of thumb ... if it's over 100, it's weird. If it gets going for 1000, there is a high probability she is narcissistic. There was an article last yr in an american psychology magazine that linked the nr of facebook friends [a place where you can control how you are seen to extreme levels] to narcisissm. It also presented a way to score that individual on this. She did it because she likes control. And right now, because you are trying to dissect it, you are under her control.
Author Johnny85 Posted May 23, 2012 Author Posted May 23, 2012 That is very interesting; she also has a lot of guy friends. Well I suppose this was a good learning experience at least. I just drew the assumption that she got jealous because while we were dating, I was jealous sometimes when I saw her with other guys. But I could be wrong. Thanks man.
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