Lost-At-Sea Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 I really need some advice on this one and I don't know who to turn to. To make a long story short. My ex and I met each other online - I live in Europe and he lives in the states. We talked for about a year before I went to the states and we actually met. Everything was perfect and we evolved into a real relationship. I've trusted him all along and never doubted anything he said even when I probably should. Well, we both agreed that we were not to see other people in any means since we both tend to get extremely jealous. About six months ago we got into a fight that lead to us breaking up. We were apart for 3 miserable months when we decided to get back together and give it one more chance. Since then, everything has changed. He never tells me where he's going and who he's with. Sometimes he's gone for a whole weekend. Which of course made me feel as if something wasn't right. A couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine told me that he had seen my boyfriend on this cam website called "Chatroulette". Later that day I confronted my boyfriend and asked him about it, which I probably shouldn't have done. He denied it at first and I believed him and told him I trusted him but the thought of it made me sick. He suddenly got so angry with me for asking him about it and told me how I never contributed to the relationship and how I probably cheated on him while we were apart (which isn't true), how I do things just to piss him off and so on. I asked him why he was saying that and that I only asked him about the chatroulette thing because I wanted to make sure and I wasn't accusing him of anything. I told him that I trusted that he would always tell me the truth no matter what but that he was behaving really weird. His reply was that he didn't have anything to say to me and that I could disappear now. It left me both confused and heartbroken. I wouldn't have been upset about the cam thing at all but what scares me is that I think he is lying to me. I love that man and I would do anything and everything for him. But am I just fooling myself, am I over-analyzing everything? I really have no clue what to do. - M.
Professor X Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 You are under-analyzing things, if any... He disappears for a weekend without telling you? Getting all huffed and puffed over nothing? Usually cheaters blame shift it back on their SO just to distract them enough to get away with what they're doing. Also, he tells you you can disappear and you... stay? HELLO! it is time for you to disappear, but not because he said, but because he doesn't give a damn. If he says otherwise than I can assure you he's just doing it for a booty call for whenever you visit him. Free sex for a few weeks and all I need to do is talk with her for a bit? SIGN ME IN. Find a guy in your area, it will do you good. You should also stop playing WoW.
Author Lost-At-Sea Posted May 23, 2012 Author Posted May 23, 2012 I know and you're probably right. I don't know for certain if he's just playing with me or what it is. He constantly tells me that I'm the one who doesn't care and that everything is my fault... Thank you for your reply though, it's nice when people actually understand you and don't tell you that you're just overreacting.. Btw. I don't play WoW!
Radu Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 I really need some advice on this one and I don't know who to turn to. To make a long story short. My ex and I met each other online - I live in Europe and he lives in the states. We talked for about a year before I went to the states and we actually met. Everything was perfect and we evolved into a real relationship. I've trusted him all along and never doubted anything he said even when I probably should. Well, we both agreed that we were not to see other people in any means since we both tend to get extremely jealous. About six months ago we got into a fight that lead to us breaking up. We were apart for 3 miserable months when we decided to get back together and give it one more chance. Since then, everything has changed. He never tells me where he's going and who he's with. Sometimes he's gone for a whole weekend. Which of course made me feel as if something wasn't right. A couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine told me that he had seen my boyfriend on this cam website called "Chatroulette". Later that day I confronted my boyfriend and asked him about it, which I probably shouldn't have done. He denied it at first and I believed him and told him I trusted him but the thought of it made me sick. He suddenly got so angry with me for asking him about it and told me how I never contributed to the relationship and how I probably cheated on him while we were apart (which isn't true), how I do things just to piss him off and so on. I asked him why he was saying that and that I only asked him about the chatroulette thing because I wanted to make sure and I wasn't accusing him of anything. I told him that I trusted that he would always tell me the truth no matter what but that he was behaving really weird. His reply was that he didn't have anything to say to me and that I could disappear now. It left me both confused and heartbroken. I wouldn't have been upset about the cam thing at all but what scares me is that I think he is lying to me. I love that man and I would do anything and everything for him. But am I just fooling myself, am I over-analyzing everything? I really have no clue what to do. - M. He is lying to you. You accused him of something, normally ppl just deny it if it's not them, hell ... they even go overboard to bring proof. He got mad to take control of the situation, best defense is an attack, right ? HON maybe ?
Author Lost-At-Sea Posted May 23, 2012 Author Posted May 23, 2012 He is lying to you. You accused him of something, normally ppl just deny it if it's not them, hell ... they even go overboard to bring proof. He got mad to take control of the situation, best defense is an attack, right ? HON maybe ? I don't get why he would lie about that. He could just have said that he was bored and that it was nothing to worry about at all.. Problem solved. I'm just afraid that this is just one of the minor things he has lied about. I've asked him several times if he have been with someone else while we were dating.. There has been some situations with an other girl involved where I've been suspicious.. You know that freaking feeling in your stomach when you just know there's something wrong. But of course he denied it. And there's no way I can find out if there is.. Let me just add that this isn't just a "online-not-serious" relationship. At least it wasn't for me. I don't even know what HON is.. lol 1
Professor X Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 I don't get why he would lie about that. He could just have said that he was bored and that it was nothing to worry about at all.. Problem solved. I'm just afraid that this is just one of the minor things he has lied about. I've asked him several times if he have been with someone else while we were dating.. There has been some situations with an other girl involved where I've been suspicious.. You know that freaking feeling in your stomach when you just know there's something wrong. But of course he denied it. And there's no way I can find out if there is.. Let me just add that this isn't just a "online-not-serious" relationship. At least it wasn't for me. I don't even know what HON is.. lol Listen to your guts, it's almost never wrong.
stillafool Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 This guy is cheating. He is blaming you for things he's done. If he were innocent he wouldn't get so angry. Gone for a weekend and doesn't let you know. He is showing you how little he cares for you. All you have to do is look at the way he is treating you to know how little he cares.
shayla Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 I don't get why he would lie about that. He could just have said that he was bored and that it was nothing to worry about at all.. Problem solved. I'm just afraid that this is just one of the minor things he has lied about. I've asked him several times if he have been with someone else while we were dating.. There has been some situations with an other girl involved where I've been suspicious.. You know that freaking feeling in your stomach when you just know there's something wrong. But of course he denied it. And there's no way I can find out if there is.. Let me just add that this isn't just a "online-not-serious" relationship. At least it wasn't for me. I don't even know what HON is.. lol Liars do this all the time. They lie about things that aren't necessary. Lying like this is a lifestyle. It is their way of living. You cannot go by the words of a liar, only their actions. If you listen to them for too long, you will be so confused that you won't know if you are coming or going. Trust your gut. Look at his behavior. You will find out everything you need to know from that alone, because you will never get the truth from someone like him.
pattyfromMV Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 lost at sea! I completely understand where you are coming from. I too met my now husband, on-line and after 6 months got married.Recently I found out he was having an affair with my best friend, my confident. At first he would treat me like I was the one not into the marriage ,everything I did was wrong or against him.He kept telling me that for sure I had someone else making me happy. ( NOT TRUE) never have cheated on this man. I had a gut feeling something was wrong and I was correct.Just never imagined with whom he was sleeping. He claims he was attractive to her because she understood and Made him feel like a man that it was not a sexual attraction but ended up there. He also says he fell in love with her but couldn't bare to leave me. 2weeks ago all hell broke loose when she texted me to have him tell me the truth. After that he had no choice. When he told told me our sex life was miserable ,that i made him feel like shi... all that time he was spending it with her and to top it off she got pregnant and still continued to befriend me and visit my home, of course he allowed it . Karma is a bitc... she lost the baby in Feb 2012 and still in March2012 tried to get pregnant again. that's why I say if you have a gut feeling about something ,99% of the time it is true, they lie so easily and make you feel like this is your fault only to justify their actions. We are trying to work things out but the trust is not there, everytime he gets a text ,I get a gut feeling it's her and usually I'm right. I love him but don't trust him thats something he has to earn . Meanwhile don't let him belittle you to justify his actions. You deserve to be happy and have someone that makes you feel secured and loved .
Leigh 87 Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 Either way, people do not talk to one another that way, in healthy and loving relationships. You do not dissapear for a whole weekend - not without calling the other and letting them know what your plans are. My boyfriend is independant, but would NEVER just dissapear - we keep in contact daily. chatroulette is actually a fun way to meet new people - my boyfriend has done it, he is extremely social and loves to meet new people often - that chat thing, is great for people who like to talk to random people from around the world. You never know who you could end up talking to, or where they live.... The fact he LIED about it is telling. Honesty, do not bother with this guy! The way he is acting, is not like a guy who really wants a serious relationship with you.. He is being mean, lying, not telling you where he is going.. a guy who is truly into you would not do any of those things.
Recommended Posts