RFfan11 Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 Hi all! I just finished my first year in college and I met a beautiful girl on the train. I only saw her about four or five times during the semester. The first time I saw her, I didn't say anything to her, but thought she was gorgeous. A few weeks passed (as she only rode the train once a week every few weeks) and I saw her again. Through the window's reflection, I always noticed that she was looking in my direction, though I don't know if she was looking at me. We sat in the same column seats but were separated by the aisle. When I told her to go ahead of me, she simply looked at me,laughed and smiled and went ahead. That's when I really felt attracted to her. I next saw her again a few weeks later. We were the only two left in the car, as we got off at the last stop. This time, I sat in front of her. When I looked back, she was looking straight in my direction. This time, I talked to her and asked her about herself and where she's from and what her major was, etc. She always repeated the same question I asked her back to me. She turned out to be a senior, but was quite shy. The train stopped about 5 minutes after we stopped talking, but before she left, she looked at me and said "have a nice day." The last time I saw her was the last week of the semester. She sat right behind me again, and looked straight in my direction. I wanted to say something to her, but didn't on the train. Regretting it, I caught up to her, initiated conversation, and found out more about her. She told me her name and when I asked about grad school, she was quick to tell me that she would continuing her schooling at the same school we go to. She asked more about my major, my age, etc., and we joked around a bit. We both smiled and laughed a lot. Before we parted, she wanted to know where I was going, as if she wanted to keep talking, but we both had classes in different buildings. That was three weeks ago. Last week, I found her on Facebook and messaged her (because I couldn't add her as a friend), saying "Hey____, are you the same______that I met on the train (the ___major from ____town)? Do you remember me (the ___year old from _____)?" She doesn't seem to log on to Facebook very often at all, as when I found her page, she hadn't updated anything in about 3-4 weeks. Also, she only told me her first name, so I had to find her. I'm starting to regret sending it to her, though. I sent her the FB message because I wasn't sure whether I'd ever see her again. Was she interested? And did I do the right thing by messaging her on FB?
january2011 Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 It really depends on her individual need for privacy. That will determine whether or not she considers your message to be an intrusion. Some people wouldn't mind being contacted in such a way, but others might find it stalkerish. Based on what you posted, I can't tell whether or not she is interested in anything more than just being casual acquaintances. She may have been talking to you out of politeness. I think that you need to wait until she responds to your message. If she doesn't, then that's probably as good an answer as you're going to get. 1
d'Arthez Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 I fully agree with january. There is nothing more you can do at the moment, and you may have already crossed a line with the FB message (if her name is "Jane Doe" and you found her after hours of searching, it probably is. If her name is "Moon Unit" or something as extravagant as that, it would only take you a few seconds to find her; she will be aware of those odds). Better to let it rest for the time being.
truth_seeker Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 I sent her the FB message because I wasn't sure whether I'd ever see her again. Was she interested? And did I do the right thing by messaging her on FB? This is a toss up like January said. She might like it, she might not. It all depends on how she views it. Wait for a bit to see if you get a response. If you don't that should tell you, but with Facebook she could easily miss it. At least though you made some kind of effort to contact her.
Author RFfan11 Posted May 23, 2012 Author Posted May 23, 2012 It really depends on her individual need for privacy. That will determine whether or not she considers your message to be an intrusion. Some people wouldn't mind being contacted in such a way, but others might find it stalkerish. Based on what you posted, I can't tell whether or not she is interested in anything more than just being casual acquaintances. She may have been talking to you out of politeness. I think that you need to wait until she responds to your message. If she doesn't, then that's probably as good an answer as you're going to get. I fully agree with january. There is nothing more you can do at the moment, and you may have already crossed a line with the FB message (if her name is "Jane Doe" and you found her after hours of searching, it probably is. If her name is "Moon Unit" or something as extravagant as that, it would only take you a few seconds to find her; she will be aware of those odds). Better to let it rest for the time being. This is a toss up like January said. She might like it, she might not. It all depends on how she views it. Wait for a bit to see if you get a response. If you don't that should tell you, but with Facebook she could easily miss it. At least though you made some kind of effort to contact her. Thanks everyone! I actually found her on FB two weeks before I actually sent the message. I was heavily split as to whether to do it or not. I asked my sister what she'd think if someone did that to her, and she said she wouldn't find it creepy at all. So, I guess it really depends on the person. Also, it was either that or risk never seeing her again.
d'Arthez Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 A damned if you do, damned if you don't kind of situation. At least you gave things a chance - and that is good. Don't feel bad about reaching out to her, but if she does not respond, accept it. Such is life. 1
Author RFfan11 Posted May 23, 2012 Author Posted May 23, 2012 (edited) A damned if you do' date=' damned if you don't kind of situation. At least you gave things a chance - and that is good. Don't feel bad about reaching out to her, but if she does not respond, accept it. Such is life.[/quote'] Yes, exactly. Still, it's tough not to regret trying. I guess that sentiment would have been there regardless. Thanks! Edited May 23, 2012 by RFfan11
matte123 Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 Well at least you tried. That's better than nothing right? It's hard to tell by facebook. If she hasn't replied back to you, she may have felt you were creepy or maybe it's because she seldom uses facebook (like you said, she hasn't posted in 3-4 weeks). If you see her on the train, try to get her number? I think that would send a clearer message on whether or not she's interested in you.
Recommended Posts