He didn't pay for my meal...

May 23, 2012

23 IIRC think based on other threads.

May 23, 2012

. I don't know if pulling out the chair in the US is dead or just a rich people thing as I've never seen it IRL..

I think most (though not all) of my boyfriends have done it if anywhere where the maitre d'/host doesn't do it. My ex husband never, ever, ever did. It didn't bother me but now I think it's one of those little things I'll look for - after how things turned out with him, I think I definitely want more old fashioned!

My last boyfriend would be bothered if I held the door for him or pulled my chair, so I did it a few times to tease him, but he typically did if we were on dates. Romance is not dead!

May 23, 2012

So, I was bored last night, I went to the pool at the side of the hotel where I am staying right now and went swimming for about half an hour. I was sitting at the bench when a guy approached me, he told me he saw me 2 days ago at the hotel lobby and he was actually about to talk to me but told me he was shy. We talked for like 20 minutes about random things and then I excused myself and went to my room. I took shower and quick nap then I went to the concierge to ask something when the guy from the pool appeared and said "Hey! Good to see you again!" We talked a bit and then he asked me if I've already eaten dinner. I don't usually eat dinner but the guy was cute and seemed really friendly and nice! And I was really bored, I've been travelling and had no company for about 3 weeks so to be honest I was really excited to have someone to talk my leisure time away, I'm not suppose to just eat, walk and sit alone in my unit every night and every day. I'm not looking for dates though, I just need someone to have some fun with. I answered him, "No, I haven't eaten dinner yet." He then asked me, "Let's have some dinner, what would you like? Italian? Indian? Mexican? Chinese? Japanese?" I laughed and said, "I'm craving for pasta. And some fresh juice. So maybe, Italian?" He then answered with a smile, "Okay, I know an Italian restaurant outside the hotel. You wanna walk? Or do I need to get a cab?" I was feeling lazy to walk so I told him to get a taxi. The taxi came and guess what? He opened the door of the taxi and then he went inside! Really? Wasn't I suppose to go first? But anyway, I just ignored, maybe he was just nervous and forgot to let me in first.

When we came to the restaurant, he asked for table for 2. I have been dined and wined by guys before, I was expecting him to pull my chair but he didn't. Ugh! TBH, I have never opened a door and have never pulled a chair for myself in all my previous dates' and ex's presence, so I was really really disappointed. Anyway, again, I just ignored and acted normally. We asked for the menu and then I asked for lasagna and lemonade. While he ordered chicken salad and beef with veggies for his starter and appetizer and then he also ordered pizza for his meal and bottomless iced tea. And after that he also asked for limoncello. Then the bill came. So, obviously, he ate more than half of the total bill. Mine was only 13 dollars while his was 48 dollars. I'm more than willing to pay for the whole bill, but gosh!!! I was about to offer when he asked me, "Can you pay for the half?" I was shocked! I mean, can't he just wait and not ask for it? Anyway, yeah, I contributed 30 dollars.

I always offer seriously, but never been asked and demanded to pay. If they accept my offer, fair, and if they don't, fine. He was cute on it's real sense, nice built of body, nice hair, nice set of teeth, nice clothing style, but ugh, he came across as the most annoying loser I have had dinner with! But anyway, when we moved back to the hotel, I thanked him and I politely said goodbye and goodnight...

Just a few days ago you were in love with your doctor guy, what happened now that you allow unknown men to pick you up ?

So you like the gentleman treatment, maybe his upbringing was different, maybe a lot of things.

Maybe he didn't actually calculate exactly how much his meal was.

Maybe he's a jerk.

Again, weren't you in love just days ago with your doctor, you were making avatars with him and spreading his picture all over the net [did you have his permission ?].

This was rude behavior on his part, rude behavior of a completely trivial nature in comparison to some of the hyperbole in the thread, but mildly rude behavior nonetheless. Guys, pay attention to the over the top invective leveled at this guy here for a little window on how they really think. Don't pay? or expect her to pay half? They will be instantly slandering you as if you had slapped them in the face and called them a b-tch far and wide.

Spare the "it costs me more to look good," "who asks should pay," brand of arguments as well. The former is factually incorrect, the latter is transparently bogus reasoning.

It's funny here on LS to see female posters pulling out every stop in the book to downplay and ridicule men who don't like and complain about constantly paying, yet a woman pays a bit more than her share in a thread like this -once- and "abracadabra presto chango!" it's suddenly a great big deal.

well said.

Edited May 23, 2012 by Radu

May 23, 2012

I was about to offer when he asked me, "Can you pay for the half?" I was shocked! I mean, can't he just wait and not ask for it? Anyway, yeah, I contributed 30 dollars.

Why didn't you say "but I only ate a quarter of it... here's my share"?

May 23, 2012

OMG. 6 pages because a guy didnt pay? jeez.....

seriously, this OP thinks she is the queen and a diva. women these days dont like chivalry (guys opening doors etc...) and therefore he didnt so dont blame him because he didnt do what you wanted! stop being a diva and grow a pair

its NOT about what he looks like or if he splashes money on you. how much do you think he has splashed on other women and not taken it any further? Think its fair on him? NO! he is being sensible and cautious for the RIGHT reasons. dont expect things which may not even happen. you are asking far too much already and you have NO RIGHT to do so.

seriously you need to get the priorities straight and take a hard long look in the mirror (without being up your backside).

harsh - but very true. facts are facts.

May 23, 2012

I'm kind of floored by some of the male responses on here (probably most or all, not sure If I read them all).

I think some men here are just taking things way too damn far, and letting their judgments get way too far in clouding their judgement here...It's not wonder that you'd be still single with this mentality.

First off, this guy is approaching her. She is giving him the time of day and being nice to him...yes It's kinda jacked up that it's because she's bored and has nothing better to do but still, most women don't attach a whole lot of feeling to some random guy at the pool.

Secondly this guy again pursued her in the lobby or cantina, whatever the hell it was and ASKED HER OUT to dinner. I don't know about you guys, but the general rule of thumb is if you ask someone out to dinner on the spot then you are pretty much saying you are going to pay...this is no mysterious equation to figure out...IF I asked a family member or someone I hadn't seen in a long time out to eat, I'm going to pay and at least expect to..I'm not going to surprise them with a dinner request then be like "oh well, you've got to foot the bill as well"

I mean I'm not really even sure what the hell you guys are thinking...why not just invite the girl to coffee or for a drink? this guy offered her out to eat, in a hotel...don't you think it's appropriate to take pay in that circumstance? hmm?

Thirdly, this whole ridiculousness where men are bitching about paying is just stupid...half of you guys don't even seem to have dates...ever, If hardly ever and then on top it now you're bitching about paying! how ridiculous can you be! so you've finally got a date lets say and now you're going to bitch about taking her out to a place...likely that you designated in the first place and complain about paying?

God, no wonder you're not sweeping women off their feet...not very chivalrous or gentlemen like, you're just too busy b!tchin about the stupid things rather than actually getting somewhere with a woman. And If you don't like paying much, then take her out to have a damn icecream or something and walk around the park..some of these comments are ways of thinking are becoming completely ridiculous...it's not surprise the men that are posting them appear to be unsuccessful with women.

I'd like to think most people feel I'm pretty balanced (hopefully) I'll slam you in one post and support you in the other, all that matters to me is the facts presented and what is being said...not the poster, I have no personal grudges or dislikes towards anyone. But some of you guys do that, you take from one post and remember it and then try and tackle the person instead of the post...try to be objective guys, because sometimes it's clear what you're doing...hell I'm starting to think a few of you guys are developing crushes on here with certain lady folk and DucheesKaye!

Anyway she's totally in the right here with her expectations and some of you guys really got to get it together and stop seeing women as the devil, they really aren't trying to reject and hate you...you guys put the dark cloud over yourselves and then you act all butthurt over stupid things. It's just totally self-defeating, you as a man should always pay on the first date, end of story, stop with the feminist bull crap a lot of women don't even subscribe to that crap.

Most women want to be romanced, and made to feel special...not necessarily wined and dined, just being gold diggers. In fact most women are pretty compromising and understanding or they wouldn't even be with the half of these guys out there if their standards were half as high as you say they are...you ever step outside and look at the actual men dating women? they're not all tall, handsome, loaded with cash and stuck with gold-diggers, they're regular guys just like you except instead of having a stick up their butt they're out there enjoying the company of women and having seeeex!

Women are beautiful, you should treat them that way and make them feel that way...you shouldn't put them on a pedestal but If you're dating a woman or interested It should be because you see something special about her...so put in the work, pay the first damn meal at least, or hell go wild and even two! then you can start going dutch or what not, a lot of women are independent and don't expect to be just bought, they have no issues or problems taking care of themselves and they're not making you pay because they're cheap and looking for a free meal and If you suspect they are they don't date em or take em out for coffee, the most you'll lose is minimal.

And If you strike out or she isn't interested in you then spend more time talking on the phone, or getting to know her before you fork out the big 40-60 bucks which in most cases you don't have to, that's your choice..this guy chose the damn restaurant, she didn't. And then he eats all the food and makes her pay, completely rude and vulgar, and inappropriate, he though he could be a jerk and get away with it...the guy is pathetic.

I bet the idiot read one of those PUA tactics I hear about on here on how to treat a girl like crap by not opening the doors, puling out chairs and being a total douche and she'll find you sexy and desirable because you're treating her like crap so she wants you to validate her by sleeping with her because he didn't make her feel special...now he's probably wondering why he struck out, jacking off in the bathroom with one of those small hotel soaps/lotion bottles.

May 23, 2012

So men don't spend money on clothes, cologne, etc...? What about money on gym memberships, healthy food to look good and gas to drive you from your house to restaurant and back home?

Female logic really can be ridiculous

"I look pretty and I'm a woman so I'm entitled to free dinners"

We are not entitled to free dinners. I always bring money to pay in case the guy doesn't. However, except for once in my life when it was brought up ahead of time by a struggling college student and in that case I certainly didn't hold it against him, I have never had to use it. Guys can do, however whatever they want.

(Oh, and there was one date where it was the guy's birthday and I had the check brought early so I could pay while he was in the bathroom - his reaction told me he was expecting to pay though. )

They are not entitled to dates with any woman, either. You can choose to seem cheap; we can choose whether or not we want to date you.

HOWEVER, I have said before and I maintain: You can have amazing dates with no money or very little money spent. I would much prefer going for a hike, having a picnic, going rollerskating... even skydiving is quite cheap, if he has his AFF license as well. My most recent date was a sunset boat ride. I brought the wine and some light appetizers. (I am an exceptionally good cook.)

May 23, 2012

ninja are u single?

anyway my first bf didnt pay for any of our dates..he told me that time he didnt have any money and that money shouldnt matter in our relationship. for some reason though he always had cash to buy sports memorabilia (cards, etc) that were pricey or cost as much as a dinner for 2.

so in the name of "love" i paid for our movies for about 2 mos i think, the snacks that go w/ those movies, our cabs.. one time i was broke, and he said he was hungry. we went to a pasta restaurant, he proceeded to eat in front of me and i was forced to sit there in front of him being hungry and feeling awkward.

we also went to a fastfood where he guilted me up to pay for his spaghetti, i was hungry but i let it go.

dont get me wrong im not a wallflower, we were both popular in high school..ive had my fair share of stalkers and admirers.. but i told myself this whole money thing wasnt a big deal...he himself told me, like these other male posters here..

but i didnt feel special. of course when another guy came along and swept me off my feet..bye bye to the first guy. ive had enough. he made such a scandal of our breakup he vowed to ruin me ..he tried to. odds were against my favor since the guys were cattier than the girls.

so to make it short, just cause its money doesn't mean that its not a big deal. to be honest i didnt date for a long time when i finished college, because i was broke. my first bf made me not expect a lot from guys, or to expect the worst from guys. when i like a guy i sometimes automatically assume they are stingy as fudge. i would suggest "KFC" for a first date just in case the man pulls a dutchy on me, or pulls the op's date antics.

i also dated guys who were well-off and i think its not about the money its about being a gentleman to a lady that you really like, showing her that you are worth her time. in the end u are dating someone who can possibly someday carry your baby for 9 mos. at least treat her special. i often believe women gravitate towards men who can provide more because it is really more of a biological need.

seriously we are not equal.

this image below (SFW) is enough to tell you we're not equal.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/34/Medio-lateral-episiotomy.gif/230px-Medio-lateral-episiotomy.gif

May 23, 2012

I don't know about you guys, but the general rule of thumb is if you ask someone out to dinner on the spot then you are pretty much saying you are going to pay...this is no mysterious equation to figure out...

Because men do 99% of the asking on dates, the rule of thumb is logically unsound and unfair on its face, and this has been covered here dozens if not hundreds of times on LS apparently to no avail. No one EVER addresses these fatal flaws in the supposed "who asks pays" rule of thumb, they just repeat it in thread after thread as if they somehow missed the other 100 threads on the topic.

I mean I'm not really even sure what the hell you guys are thinking...why not just invite the girl to coffee or for a drink? this guy offered her out to eat, in a hotel...don't you think it's appropriate to take pay in that circumstance? hmm?

It was rude, mildly so. On the level of letting the elevator door close when someone is trying to get on. That's it. That's as rude as this was. Guy is good looking, has the same options as the average woman, so doesn't have to supplicate and buy female attention.

OP has claimed on several occasions to be rich, I imagine this hotel was no fleatrap. The tempest in a teapot in this thread is over $10-15 between people of means supposedly staying at a luxury hotel.

I can't count on 100 fingers and toes the times I have been invited out by women as part of groups, one on one, events, parties, whatever, where I ended up paying $10-200 more than my fair share due to splitting the check or the "gentleman tax" generally, and will guarantee you that is a common male experience in general socializing where women are involved and doing the inviting. I've had them order whole extra entrees to take home on a split check, $200 wine that they drank 4/5 of, surf and turf to my salad, on and on. If I happen to order more or have more expense, watch the calculator come right out of the purse. So forgive me for not feeling a whole raftload of sympathy for OP in losing $10-20... once.

Reverse the genders, make OP a man and the overeater a woman. Would posters be lining up then to decry what a cruel, callous miscarriage of worldclass injustice this was? Of course not. Spare the indignation.

May 23, 2012

Just a few days ago you were in love with your doctor guy, what happened now that you allow unknown men to pick you up ?

So you like the gentleman treatment, maybe his upbringing was different, maybe a lot of things.
Maybe he didn't actually calculate exactly how much his meal was.
Maybe he's a jerk.

Again, weren't you in love just days ago with your doctor, you were making avatars with him and spreading his picture all over the net [did you have his permission ?].

It is in my understanding that you are not suppose to follow all my posts but I have been posting regularly that I am going to forget that guy and would love to be single for a while and also I made it clear to my thread that I was just bored and just looking for someone to talk my freetime away. What's so wrong with it to spend some minutes for a random guy who approached me first anyway?

Yes, I was in love and still inlove but I'm not supposed to just cry and pity myself just because our relationship wasn't meant to work at this moment.

And hell yeah, I think I have his permission! Lol! It was actually him who tweetpic that photo on a public website

I'm kind of floored by some of the male responses on here (probably most or all, not sure If I read them all).

I think some men here are just taking things way too damn far, and letting their judgments get way too far in clouding their judgement here...It's not wonder that you'd be still single with this mentality.

First off, this guy is approaching her. She is giving him the time of day and being nice to him...yes It's kinda jacked up that it's because she's bored and has nothing better to do but still, most women don't attach a whole lot of feeling to some random guy at the pool.

Secondly this guy again pursued her in the lobby or cantina, whatever the hell it was and ASKED HER OUT to dinner. I don't know about you guys, but the general rule of thumb is if you ask someone out to dinner on the spot then you are pretty much saying you are going to pay...this is no mysterious equation to figure out...IF I asked a family member or someone I hadn't seen in a long time out to eat, I'm going to pay and at least expect to..I'm not going to surprise them with a dinner request then be like "oh well, you've got to foot the bill as well"

I mean I'm not really even sure what the hell you guys are thinking...why not just invite the girl to coffee or for a drink? this guy offered her out to eat, in a hotel...don't you think it's appropriate to take pay in that circumstance? hmm?

Thirdly, this whole ridiculousness where men are bitching about paying is just stupid...half of you guys don't even seem to have dates...ever, If hardly ever and then on top it now you're bitching about paying! how ridiculous can you be! so you've finally got a date lets say and now you're going to bitch about taking her out to a place...likely that you designated in the first place and complain about paying?

God, no wonder you're not sweeping women off their feet...not very chivalrous or gentlemen like, you're just too busy b!tchin about the stupid things rather than actually getting somewhere with a woman. And If you don't like paying much, then take her out to have a damn icecream or something and walk around the park..some of these comments are ways of thinking are becoming completely ridiculous...it's not surprise the men that are posting them appear to be unsuccessful with women.

I'd like to think most people feel I'm pretty balanced (hopefully) I'll slam you in one post and support you in the other, all that matters to me is the facts presented and what is being said...not the poster, I have no personal grudges or dislikes towards anyone. But some of you guys do that, you take from one post and remember it and then try and tackle the person instead of the post...try to be objective guys, because sometimes it's clear what you're doing...hell I'm starting to think a few of you guys are developing crushes on here with certain lady folk and DucheesKaye!

Anyway she's totally in the right here with her expectations and some of you guys really got to get it together and stop seeing women as the devil, they really aren't trying to reject and hate you...you guys put the dark cloud over yourselves and then you act all butthurt over stupid things. It's just totally self-defeating, you as a man should always pay on the first date, end of story, stop with the feminist bull crap a lot of women don't even subscribe to that crap.

Most women want to be romanced, and made to feel special...not necessarily wined and dined, just being gold diggers. In fact most women are pretty compromising and understanding or they wouldn't even be with the half of these guys out there if their standards were half as high as you say they are...you ever step outside and look at the actual men dating women? they're not all tall, handsome, loaded with cash and stuck with gold-diggers, they're regular guys just like you except instead of having a stick up their butt they're out there enjoying the company of women and having seeeex!

Women are beautiful, you should treat them that way and make them feel that way...you shouldn't put them on a pedestal but If you're dating a woman or interested It should be because you see something special about her...so put in the work, pay the first damn meal at least, or hell go wild and even two! then you can start going dutch or what not, a lot of women are independent and don't expect to be just bought, they have no issues or problems taking care of themselves and they're not making you pay because they're cheap and looking for a free meal and If you suspect they are they don't date em or take em out for coffee, the most you'll lose is minimal.

And If you strike out or she isn't interested in you then spend more time talking on the phone, or getting to know her before you fork out the big 40-60 bucks which in most cases you don't have to, that's your choice..this guy chose the damn restaurant, she didn't. And then he eats all the food and makes her pay, completely rude and vulgar, and inappropriate, he though he could be a jerk and get away with it...the guy is pathetic.

I bet the idiot read one of those PUA tactics I hear about on here on how to treat a girl like crap by not opening the doors, puling out chairs and being a total douche and she'll find you sexy and desirable because you're treating her like crap so she wants you to validate her by sleeping with her because he didn't make her feel special...now he's probably wondering why he struck out, jacking off in the bathroom with one of those small hotel soaps/lotion bottles.

Mmmm... What can I say? Ninja, I always love and like what you have to say.

May 23, 2012

It is in my understanding that you are not suppose to follow all my posts but I have been posting regularly that I am going to forget that guy and would love to be single for a while and also I made it clear to my thread that I was just bored and just looking for someone to talk my freetime away. What's so wrong with it to spend some minutes for a random guy who approached me first anyway?
Yes, I was in love and still inlove but I'm not supposed to just cry and pity myself just because our relationship wasn't meant to work at this moment.
And hell yeah, I think I have his permission! Lol! It was actually him who tweetpic that photo on a public website

Mmmm... What can I say? Ninja, I always love and like what you have to say.

Well, it is a public forum, nobody is stalking you, feel free to get out of your shell.

You have an unique avatar and username, you have posted a lot and i have a decent memory of the ppl that use an avatar [the rest are somewhat harder to remember except the regulars].

I did not see a thread from you about that guy, or leaving him or something, and your last thread with his face in the avatar was about 10d ago [going by memory].

The mentality of 'i can see no harm' actually says a lot about you if you the two of you were still a couple.

It means you have weak boundaries, which may mean you will cheat at some point.

I also remember this thread you started where you said that you wanted to leave without saying goodbye, it was obvious you were suffering from low self-esteem so with the above it would show some serious problems for which i would advise a therapist.

But, if you are not a couple anymore ... all of that is moot, behaviour is not that off for a 23yr old.

And yes, you should ask for permission to put up someone's picture on a public site.

Your argument is very unfeeling, almost as if you were contemplating legal repercusions.

I was trying to reference common curteousy, since you did mention that you loved him and still love him.

---

On your OP, have you considered that he did the payment thing to let you down gently because he didn't feel something for you ?

Ninja also makes a nice point at the end of his post, it could be that the guy was into PUA and listened to that crappy advice.

May 23, 2012

Radu, are you insulting me?

My life is an open book to everyone, I won't be bothered even if he come across this site and read my posts. I'm posting almost everything not because I'm not that of a 23 year old but it's because I'm true to everybody. Why are you so worried that I posted our photo? Our photos are everywhere, seriously! I may have very weak boundaries but that's because I wasn't fully committed to him though I know that I loved him. And also the thought of leaving him without saying goodbye was to avoid contact because I know both of us can't muster strength to confront the situation of leaving.

On your OP, have you considered that he did the payment thing to let you down gently because he didn't feel something for you ?

He has been following me for 2 days. And even waited for me to come out to ask me out. I don't think it was a coincident that he was at the lobby the time that I needed to talk to the receptionist. If he didn't feel anything, then what was that? And oh he even said before we parted, 'Let's chill again, some time.'

I just smiled and at the back of my head I was saying, "chill again some time... your face!"

Anyway, Ninja said it best. I'll be reading his post over and over again

Edited May 23, 2012 by DuchessKaye

May 23, 2012

I find it very telling that the thread title wasn't "He made me pay $10 of his meal" but "He didn't pay for my meal".

I mean sure, he was a bit rude. But we've all been on the unfair end of 'splitting the bill' enough times.

Essentially the OP is making a big fuss about something that, had it happened to most guys, they wouldn't even blink.

May 23, 2012

Radu, are you insulting me?
My life is an open book to everyone, I won't be bothered even if he come across this site and read my posts. I'm posting almost everything not because I'm not that of a 23 year old but it's because I'm true to everybody. Why are you so worried that I posted our photo? Our photos are everywhere, seriously! I may have very weak boundaries but that's because I wasn't fully committed to him though I know that I loved him. And also the thought of leaving him without saying goodbye was to avoid contact because I know both of us can't muster strength to confront the situation of leaving.

He has been following me for 2 days. And even waited for me to come out to ask me out. I don't think it was a coincident that he was at the lobby the time that I needed to talk to the receptionist. If he didn't feel anything, then what was that? And oh he even said before we parted, 'Let's chill again, some time.'
I just smiled and at the back of my head I was saying, "chill again some time... your face!"

Anyway, Ninja said it best. I'll be reading his post over and over again

Is anything i wrote insulting to you ?

You don't need to get this agressive.

I pointed to those things [including photographs] because i don't know what goes through your head, i can't read minds. And i don't follow ppl around on this forum so i wouldn't have known that you two broke up.

The leaving thread i interpreted as 'going on vacation or business' sort of thing and not a goodbye.

He was probably trying to be a player, or he didn't think it too well and was insensitive.

Either way he's bad for you, or he could be good for you [if insensitive] but not your type [you prefer a gentleman].

It really doesn't matter in the end.

May 23, 2012

The guy is a major loser.

I understand not every male makes a lot of money to always pay. When I was young I would take my date top the park and we would eat something sitting by the lake. However, I always paid. Or I would take her to a fast food place. I had no problem disclosing that I was a student with no cash. I cannot conceive a man that expects the woman to pay. IMHO, that is not a man.

If the guy was short on cash he could have said lets grab a taco at Taco Bell.

What a classless individual!

May 23, 2012

As said countless times on this forum, I don't think that men should have to pay for the woman in the early dates. The notion of who asks out should pay is also bonkers because women don't ask out men in 99% of the time. So by default that means that men have to pay.

IMO a date is just a time when two people should get to know each other and see if they have compatibility. It should not be, spoil the girl because she's a girl. And if the guy didn't invite the girl out, the date would simply not happen. It should basically be, I want to get to know you better and we are going to do this thing together.

The big problem that exists in society today is that women still expect to be spoiled. This isn't the 1920's anymore, women have jobs too. Many of them make more money then the men do, and yet the man should take her out on his dime? That's bonkers.

That being said, the guy should have paid for everything he ordered. Going out to a meal or drinks with somebody and having something that is significantly more expensive then what they ordered, and expecting them to pay for half, is rude not matter what gender you or they are.

May 23, 2012

It is in my understanding that you are not suppose to follow all my posts but I have been posting regularly that I am going to forget that guy and would love to be single for a while and also I made it clear to my thread that I was just bored and just looking for someone to talk my freetime away. What's so wrong with it to spend some minutes for a random guy who approached me first anyway?

You were bored, not looking to date the guy and just wanted some company? Well nothing wrong with that, but he was probably doing the same thing, using you for a placemat so he wouldnt eat alone. Or, once he figured out that you werent interested in him, he treated you just as he should have. No need to waste wining and dining a stranger that isnt interested in you, leave the chivalry for a woman who is actually interested. He doesnt care if you think he's a loser, he will move onto the next woman, and if she is interested, he will open doors, pull out chairs, and pay for her full meal. At least I hope he knew what he was doing. Would be really sad if he didnt know that what he was doing was kind of crass.

May 23, 2012

The guy is a major loser.

I understand not every male makes a lot of money to always pay. When I was young I would take my date top the park and we would eat something sitting by the lake. However, I always paid. Or I would take her to a fast food place. I had no problem disclosing that I was a student with no cash. I cannot conceive a man that expects the woman to pay. IMHO, that is not a man.

If the guy was short on cash he could have said lets grab a taco at Taco Bell.

What a classless individual!

Pierre it was not a date, just two hotel guests on their own, having dinner together to kill some time and have company. He is not romancing her, and she has no interest in dating anyone at the moment. I agree it was classless act to ask her to contibute 1/2 towards the bill given he ate a lot more, but beyond that, is her company more worthy of being paid for than his?

As Dasein said, if the roles were reversed, and a female hotel guest suggested they kill the boredom and have dinner together and the guy got all ****ty over her not paying for both their dinners, people would tell him whats the big deal, and would not be calling the woman a loser, retard or tool.

May 23, 2012

OP it didn't seem like it was a romantic date but more like two hotel guests who decided to grab a bite to eat together. In saying that I think you should have told the guy that you were only going to pay for what you ate and given him the money for that plus your part of the tip. I wouldn't want a man to pay for me if I had no romantic interest in him. He may expect something in return.

May 23, 2012

If this were two women just going out to eat - just to have some company while at the same hotel - I would like to think the OP would have stood up for herself when asked to pay for half the bill. I know I certainly would!

That she didn't speaks volumes about her sense of entitlement in these gender role debates.

May 23, 2012

Every time a man pays for a woman on a date...and angel get's his wings....

maybe the angel of death

May 23, 2012

If this were two women just going out to eat - just to have some company while at the same hotel - I would like to think the OP would have stood up for herself when asked to pay for half the bill. I know I certainly would!

That she didn't speaks volumes about her sense of entitlement in these gender role debates.

I like you.

I was just thinking that a lot of ink [electronic one] has flown in these 7 pages for what is essentially a 9 dollars.

May 23, 2012

You were bored, not looking to date the guy and just wanted some company? Well nothing wrong with that, but he was probably doing the same thing, using you for a placemat so he wouldnt eat alone. Or, once he figured out that you werent interested in him, he treated you just as he should have. No need to waste wining and dining a stranger that isnt interested in you, leave the chivalry for a woman who is actually interested. He doesnt care if you think he's a loser, he will move onto the next woman, and if she is interested, he will open doors, pull out chairs, and pay for her full meal. At least I hope he knew what he was doing. Would be really sad if he didnt know that what he was doing was kind of crass.

I disagree.

A gentleman is a gentleman with everybody------------even when dealing with ugly women, family, and male friends. Being a gentleman only with desirable women is bogus and classless.

May 23, 2012

JMO... When I do go on a dinner date I always ask if I could leave the tip or help pay for the bill!

Things are so rough with this freakin economy why not help with the bill especially if I enjoyed the other person's company!

Now, I would have liked him to let me in the cab first and pull a chair out for me....just being a man that is a gentlemen.....but I would always offer to help pay the bill. I am not one of the 1% in this country, I am in the 99%.

May 23, 2012

Gettinf back on topic to the OP:

Duchess, I think the fact that he suggested you two both go get dinner right then and there wasn't so much a "date" as...two people just grabbing dinner. There was no asking out really, like, "Can I take you to dinner tomorrow night?," just, "Have you eaten yet?"

So, I wouldn't have expected him to pay in that instance.

Also, you have a boyfriend still, don't you??

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He didn't pay for my meal...

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