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He didn't pay for my meal...

DuchessKaye

By DuchessKaye
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Coffee20 Established Member

Coffee20

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this is a shame

he could at least pay for his own spending, but he wanted you to pay for a part of his

he definitely used the situation

what a jerk

FryFish Established Member

FryFish

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nobody's entitled to anything. us gals aren't entitled to give cheap guys another date either.
Im not sure you know the meaning of the word entitled...
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fitgirl Established Member

fitgirl

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I'm totally on your side in this regards. You have a reasonable mindset, the women that expect men to pay for every date in the year 2012 drive me insane

 

 

 

It's more about the principle than paying itself, I don't necessarily mind paying the first date or 2

 

thats all i expect a guy to pay for, a date or 2. it doesn't have to be at an expensive place. its not all the dates.

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DuchessKaye Established Member

DuchessKaye

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Its a shame you only like the caucasian persuasion OP. Because I could show you a fun time without much cash spent =P

 

See, I told you I dont hate you.

 

Lol, thanks but no thanks. Haha! Kidding! :p

I'm so going to cast a wider net real soon,

and will date men with mustache and chocolate skin :bunny::love:

fitgirl Established Member

fitgirl

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Im not sure you know the meaning of the word entitled...

 

its you who doesn't get it. i do get it. so does my husband. he knows how to treat a lady.

Rebelchick New Member

Rebelchick

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Yes, that's the word!

A complete and total disaster!

 

What a complete tool. He invited YOU and wasn't even close to being a gentleman. I hope he gets crabs, lol...:p

kaylan Established Member

kaylan

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So men don't spend money on clothes, cologne, etc...? What about money on gym memberships, healthy food to look good and gas to drive you from your house to restaurant and back home?

 

Female logic really can be ridiculous

 

"I look pretty and I'm a woman so I'm entitled to free dinners"

This.

 

I spend money on looking good too. And Im not afraid to admit my hair takes forever to get ready. Do people realize how much maintenance goes into dreads? Especially when they get longer? My hair takes 45 minutes to wash very well, because its a freaking sponge basically. I have to make sure to work the water water and suds through well several times. So I do a few washes and then I clarify with apple cider vinegar and set oil in it to condition it.

 

But thats the path I chose. Dreads can be work if you really want them to be nice, and I like mine being fresh and sexy. I dont do my dreads like hippies do lol.

 

Also, its so stupid how entitled, cheapskate women want to forget that means clothes and shoes cost a good deal of money for those who want to look good. Especially guys with a penchant for fashion. Its 2012, and lots of dudes know how to freaking dress nowadays and crap can get pricey. A vagina doesnt entitled you to anything, and stop acting like you wouldnt screw a guy you were attracted to because he wanted to go dutch. Women sleep with guys all the time without them paying, so who are we all fooling? The only time this paying thing matters is when the chick is iffy about the guy in the first place.

Lol, thanks but no thanks. Haha! Kidding! :p

I'm so going to cast a wider net real soon,

and will date men with mustache and chocolate skin :bunny::love:

Shame, I either shave or go full beard. No mustaches here.

 

Oh wells :p. Just when I was thinking of giving Asian girls another go 'round lol

manup Established Member

manup

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it is poor. ewwwwwww yuck to cheap guys. my husband paid for the first dates when we began dating but i spent lots of money getting ready. clothes, makeup, jewelry, prefume all cost money. us gals spend lots getting ready so we spend as much. if a guy whines about paying he isn't a real man.

 

Are you real?

kaylan Established Member

kaylan

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This.

 

I spend money on looking good too. And Im not afraid to admit my hair takes forever to get ready. Do people realize how much maintenance goes into dreads? Especially when they get longer? My hair takes 45 minutes to wash very well, because its a freaking sponge basically. I have to make sure to work the water water and suds through well several times. So I do a few washes and then I clarify with apple cider vinegar and set oil in it to condition it.

 

But thats the path I chose. Dreads can be work if you really want them to be nice, and I like mine being fresh and sexy. I dont do my dreads like hippies do lol.

Also let me add.

 

And this is just the wash people. Retwisting my dreads takes about a few hours almost. Even more when I do it all by myself without having a friend help me. So whenever I hear women take about how long it takes them to get ready, I just laugh. Sure I can take 20 minutes to shower and get dressed for the bar, but if I want to look reallllly good and my best for a night out...itll take me more time, and it will for a lot of guys as well. Aside from painting nails and doing makeup, guys have to do all the other crap women do when they get ready.

 

I don't mind paying. I'm a woman but I don't expect men to pay for dates. I don't have that thinking 'I'm a gorgeous woman, I deserve to get free dinners.'

No, spare me. I'm a very generous lady and I can make myself equal to the task. It's just nuts that he asked for it! Guys please, wait for us to offer so you don't come come across as a loser cheap ass!

I dont see the problem in asking for you to chip in, especially if you were going to anyways. You are definitely being a little bonkers about this.

 

If he was very attractive to you, and you really liked him, this whole thing wouldnt have made any difference to you.

Edited by kaylan
fitgirl Established Member

fitgirl

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Are you real?

 

small wonder you guys are still single. you insult me and insult women. go continue your cheap ways but don't whine when she drops you.

shorty7 Established Member

shorty7

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Deleted post

Edited by shorty7
Nevermind, someone got my point covered
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DuchessKaye Established Member

DuchessKaye

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Also let me add.

 

And this is just the wash people. Retwisting my dreads takes about a few hours almost. Even more when I do it all by myself without having a friend help me. So whenever I hear women take about how long it takes them to get ready, I just laugh. Sure I can take 20 minutes to shower and get dressed for the bar, but if I want to look reallllly good and my best for a night out...itll take me more time, and it will for a lot of guys as well. Aside from painting nails and doing makeup, guys have to do all the other crap women do when they get ready.

 

Let me share, I'm not complaining, but I usually spend an hour before going on dates. And also I used to spend a couple of hundred dollars for clothes, shoes and bags, make ups and perfumes.

 

 

I dont see the problem in asking for you to chip in, especially if you were going to anyways. You are definitely being a little bonkers about this.

 

I know I'm okay with paying, but atleast let me be the one to bring it up so the guy won't appear as a complete retard. That experience was just rare for me, so maybe that's why I am so annoyed like this.

fitgirl Established Member

fitgirl

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Boy I'mma stop you right there before I slap you and wake you up to the real world on what girls spend money on to "look good" for a date, okay?

 

All you gotta do to look good on a date is take a shower, shave, floss and make sure that you be wearing some damn dress socks and a belt. (for a nice romantic dinner out, anyhow)

 

Don't let me even rip into your grill what a girl goes through for a date of that caliber that matches "dress socks and a belt"

 

these guys are willfully clueless.

luvkitties Member

luvkitties

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Sorry, Duchess...if it would have been me, I would have offered to pay for my share (and maybe offer to leave the tip), but I think it's ridiculous that he asked you to split the check. As inconsiderate as I find his actions to be, at least he did pay half--once, I was on a date where we had just finished eating at a restaurant. When the check came, the guy decided that was the time to tell me that he "forgot" his wallet. :mad:

shorty7 Established Member

shorty7

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Aside from painting nails and doing makeup, guys have to do all the other crap women do when they get ready.

I don't know about you hon, the only straight guys I know that wax are triathelon athletes. And even they don't even spend half as much as I do.

 

I dont see the problem in asking for you to chip in, especially if you were going to anyways. You are definitely being a little bonkers about this.

Aww you silly boys with no learning skills. How many times do we have to point out that it's not what you say, but how you say things?

The dude stuffed himself like a pig and asked for her to pay half which was already twice the volume and cost of what she actually ate. You gotta admit that's cheap and tacky even for it not counting as a date.

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DuchessKaye Established Member

DuchessKaye

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I was on a date where we had just finished eating at a restaurant. When the check came, the guy decided that was the time to tell me that he "forgot" his wallet. :mad:

 

Wow! He must be a scam! Sorry for that, Kitty.

I'm so angry to those coldhearted scam jerks! :mad:

shorty7 Established Member

shorty7

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these guys are willfully clueless.

Well that post was supposed to be deleted; don't feel like preaching to the ears of a donkey.

 

I'll draw the line at waxing. :-p

Els Established Member

Els

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Honest to god, if I was even out for dinner with a friend and he/she very quickly asked me to pay half despite me having eaten 1/3 of the price, I'd be wary of that person in the future.

 

I can understand why you're miffed, OP. Not only that, but IME in your culture, it's pretty much the norm for a guy to pay, because there are pretty tough social expectations of women as well (as manifested by your ex restricting YOUR calories :p). Even assuming that this guy had been polite about splitting the cost (ie not asking you to pay for more than your share), how progressive was he in debunking the cultural/social expectations of women as well as men?

ascendotum Established Member

ascendotum

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Doesn't sound like the most romantic man. IMO if you didn't think it was a date then the getting in the cab first or not pulling out your chair shouldn't of bothered you. I don't know if pulling out the chair in the US is dead or just a rich people thing as I've never seen it IRL. Him asking you to pay: Did he say "Can I take you to dinner?"

 

I agree with the above. As the OP said it wasn't a date, the guy (another hotel guest) merely suggested they have dinner together. I don't think he is obligated to pay for her dinner, and at the same time she is not obligated to pay for half the cost of the meal in this situation. If she felt slighted by his request for $, I reckon she should have flipped him just the $13.

I also find it strange that their time togther was considered a total disaster, when the intention was to fill in some time and enjoy pleasant company and conversation, which really should be independant of chair pulling + bill splitting.

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kaylan Established Member

kaylan

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Let me share, I'm not complaining, but I usually spend an hour before going on dates. And also I used to spend a couple of hundred dollars for clothes, shoes and bags, make ups and perfumes.
Id say it takes me an hour to get ready for a date when I know I want to look really great. Itll take me an hour and a half if its hair wash day.

 

And if you are buying clothes and all that stuff for a particular date, I think that is unnecessary. Buy clothes, makeup and perfume just so you can look great in general for a variety of nice things you want to do when you go out. Thats what I do.

I know I'm okay with paying, but atleast let me be the one to bring it up so the guy won't appear as a complete retard. That experience was just rare for me, so maybe that's why I am so annoyed like this.

Again, if you were really into him you wouldnt have cared about how he asked about the bill. I simply would of said "throw me a *x amount of dollars*. If the meal is thirty Ill ask the chick for 10 bucks.

 

But I date differently than most dudes who get suckered into the payment trap. Buy the time Im going on dinner dates with a girl, we already have an understanding that Im not taking care of everything and they are already pretty into me. That or we dont usually end up doing the typical dinner thing and we wing it doing something else inexpensively, in which case we treat back and forth on small things during our time together.

I don't know about you hon, the only straight guys I know that wax are triathelon athletes. And even they don't even spend half as much as I do.

Waxing would be analogous to shaving. And some guys dont like to be furry every where. If I know I might have a really good ending to my night, Ill make sure to trim up my south-lands and also shave my torso bear depending on my mood.

 

I look better shaved and my tattoos really pop that way. Sometimes I feel I wanna be more rugged and leave the chest hair and happy trail down my stomach. Like I said, it depends. Most girls Ive been with prefer me bare because it suits my physique.

Aww you silly boys with no learning skills. How many times do we have to point out that it's not what you say, but how you say things?

The dude stuffed himself like a pig and asked for her to pay half which was already twice the volume and cost of what she actually ate. You gotta admit that's cheap and tacky even for it not counting as a date.

My statement was a general one. I dont see a problem in a guy asking a girl to chip in. However in OPs case, asking her to chip in half when she didnt eat half is ridiculous, I agree. Edited by kaylan
  • Like 1
Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

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I understand DK. I don't mind paying. But him ASKING her to pay half when he ate a ton of food? That's horrible.

 

When I know that I am not going to see a guy again, I pay for my half; I have been known to pay the whole bill. I insist on it to make the rejection easier on him. I only let guys I am interested in pay for me.

SJC2008 Established Member

SJC2008

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Well fellas I dated an 31 year old, conservative, virgin and she did NOT thank me for dinner on the 1st date or for our second date. I guess because I had to and didn't do it to be a gentleman. Even the Christian women can have entitlement complexes too lol. Like I said, no ty is a deal breaker for me now!!!

Imported Established Member

Imported

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He invited her. If she'd invited him, then I'd have said that she pays.

 

And not only did he invite her, he decided to order lots of things on the menu and feed his face.

 

Then have the audacity to ask her to pay half the bill.

 

In my opinion, that's vulgar.

 

I always pay, it's not a big deal. If she wants, she can do the tipping, so long as she tips them generously. However, I find it laughable that women pull out the "he invited, so he should pay". Understood, but men are flat out always the ones that have to invite. If we don't, nothing ever happens, even if the girl obviously wants us.

 

Women's approach to dating is fairly passive. Someone has to initiate and that someone is almost always the guy. Most of the women I approach are staring me down, so I go over and start talking to them. It goes well and I ask them out (some women even make suggestions or give hints to ask them out), because if I don't, I know they're not...that would be too forward. I am fine with that and like I said, I am fine with paying in full. I am old fashion like that........but I want a housewife of the olden days, dedicated to being a wife and mother. Not the crazy women of today screaming about "equal treatment". The same crazy women screaming about "equal rights" will on the one hand never ask a guy out and point out that "men should be men" and do all the approaching taking all the risk of rejection. Then on the other hand say stupid **** like "he invited, so he should pay".

 

I agree though, asking her to pay for half when his bill exceeds her's is just over the top.

Edited by Imported
dasein Established Member

dasein

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This was rude behavior on his part, rude behavior of a completely trivial nature in comparison to some of the hyperbole in the thread, but mildly rude behavior nonetheless. Guys, pay attention to the over the top invective leveled at this guy here for a little window on how they really think. Don't pay? or expect her to pay half? They will be instantly slandering you as if you had slapped them in the face and called them a b-tch far and wide.

 

Spare the "it costs me more to look good," "who asks should pay," brand of arguments as well. The former is factually incorrect, the latter is transparently bogus reasoning.

 

It's funny here on LS to see female posters pulling out every stop in the book to downplay and ridicule men who don't like and complain about constantly paying, yet a woman pays a bit more than her share in a thread like this -once- and "abracadabra presto chango!" it's suddenly a great big deal. :lmao:

  • Like 1
Emilia Established Member

Emilia

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Just to put everything in perspective, if I remember correctly the OP is only 19. A teenager

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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