Breck Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 Ex broke up with me. I don't visit her facebook page, but now she is 'liking' a bunch of my friends posts on their pages, posting on their walls, and blatently flirting with my friends. She never did this until we broke up. It's hard not to notice my friends updates in my news feed and her flirty comments with For someone that wants space, this is a tough way to distance herself. Anyone else going NC and distancing themselves only to find their ex won't let them move on and forget?
Art_Critic Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 You do realize that if you block her then all of her posts on your friends pages go away to ? Give her the space she asks for and block her from YOUR FB.. Take YOUR FB back. 1
Art_Critic Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 Just stop using Fakebook. Problem Solved! How is that solving the problem ? That is letting her alter and affect your life instead of moving on .. It is also giving the power over to her... why no take the power back and just block her ? that way he gets to still use FB. 1
gibson Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 How is that solving the problem ? That is letting her alter and affect your life instead of moving on .. It is also giving the power over to her... why no take the power back and just block her ? that way he gets to still use FB. He is giving up his life if he doesn't use Facebook? Is Facebook really that important? If you ask me... Real Men don't Facebook. 3
Author Breck Posted May 23, 2012 Author Posted May 23, 2012 1. Most people invite friends to events via Facebook now so that would impact my social life. 2. Facebook is a great way to meet people. I've met girls through female friends where there wasn't enough time with them to ask for their number, but you can flirt through Facebook and get a date out of it.
gibson Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 (edited) Facebook is a great way to meet people. I've met girls through female friends where there wasn't enough time with them to ask for their number, but you can flirt through Facebook and get a date out of it. It works great if you are in a relationship or married too. I read the following article yesterday... More than a third of divorce filings last year contained the word "Facebook" Edited May 23, 2012 by gibson
Cyberpunk Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 I can relate. I am NC with my Ex and she is blocked from my FB but has her friends stalking my page for updates.
Hope4anangel Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 Ex broke up with me. I don't visit her facebook page, but now she is 'liking' a bunch of my friends posts on their pages, posting on their walls, and blatently flirting with my friends. She never did this until we broke up. It's hard not to notice my friends updates in my news feed and her flirty comments with For someone that wants space, this is a tough way to distance herself. Anyone else going NC and distancing themselves only to find their ex won't let them move on and forget? She is trying to make you jealous. I've done this myself and this is definitely what it is. 1
Million.to.1 Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 I can relate. I am NC with my Ex and she is blocked from my FB but has her friends stalking my page for updates. Why don't you stick her friends in a list? ..... stop sharing things with them for a while. You can choose what and who you share what with on facebook. It's takes a bit of understanding, but you can keep certain information out of certain circles pretty easily. 1
Art_Critic Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 If you ask me... Real Men don't Facebook. I'll have to tell my wife that one Your cynical view on FB is noted, however why would he want to give her any power over his own life ? Deleting your FB profile because she likes your friends posts isn't exactly moving on, it is staying in the self pity side of a breakup.
headsashed Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 Its easier just to put ur ex on block,thsat way you can still talk to your friends etc and neither of you will be able to see each others posts. Theres always going to be mutual friends that tell you both things about each other,its happening to me right now. Id just block her and leave it at that,if ur friends want to tell you about her status updates etc then just say you dont want to talk about it. 1
PegNosePete Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 He is giving up his life if he doesn't use Facebook? No, nobody said that. You're just making up strawman arguments because you don't like facebook, and you want to have a crack at people who do. He is giving up power if he allows his ex to control his behaviour, whether that is which gym he goes to, which friends he talks to, or which websites he visits. If he enjoys using facebook then why should he give it up just because of what his ex does? Block her and be done with it. 1
gibson Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 (edited) I think Facebook can be a very helpful and useful tool to stay connected with family, friends, etc. However, like most anything in life... People's Facebook experience will sink down to the lowest common denominator. It's who they are, the people and "friends" they choose to share that experience with, etc. that determines that. I cannot tell you how many conversations I have had with family, friends, co-workers, etc. (people 25 to 60+ years old) in regards to Facebook. Their horror stories about the drama, discussions, arguments, disagreements, misunderstandings, jealousy, fights, etc. they choose to engage in with their 1,500+ "friends" blows my mind. I have been out with with people and even clients where one or more of the people I was with had to check, post, update their status or "check in" on their Facebook. They openly told me they wanted to brag about being at the event, place or restaurant for the sole purpose of looking cool, showing off or making their "friends" jealous. I have seen people getting twisted up into a pretzel over someone not accepting a "friend" request, being deleted, denying a "friend" request or deleting a "friend". They also get upset about what their "friends" post / comment on their Facebook and "friends" of "friends" and have to spent time, energy and effort chasing down "friends" to have things removed. I have also seen people having to "untag" themselves from pictures they are embarrassing, harmful or they wish were not posted for the world to see. I have known people that lost out on job opportunities or were fired over their Facebook use. I know several relationships / marriages where one or both of the people used Facebook as their weapon of choice to pick fights, air dirty laundry, cause jealousy and even cheat (emotionally or physically). I cannot tell you how many relationships that blew up and I know of 4 marriages that ended because of someones lack of control over the temptations that are made available via Facebook. Not to mention, almost every married man I am friends with has shared with me that they been propositioned for various type of relationships with someone through Facebook. I don't think anything I am saying is any sort of secret... This is probably why most couples I know have to have each others passwords and probably why they spent more time "checking up" on their partners Facebook than they spend on their own. Just using my recent Ex and me as an example.... My Ex is an event marketer and for her Facebook is a very effective tool to assist her in her job. On there she was "in a relationship" and her Facebook was more or less a shrine to me and the life we shared together. Having said all that, she was hit on, asked out or propositioned by at least 5 or 6 people every week (well over a 100 throughout our relationship) through no fault of her own. It could be someone at an event she working who had her name, former lovers, former and present co-workers who she never knew or met at her present company or companies she worked for in the past, friends of friends, former classmates, etc. I went to my 20th reunion and after attending that event and going against my better judgement... I gave in and let my recent Ex create a Facebook page for me with the purpose of me keeping in contact with many of the friends I reconnected with. Within a week I was hit on, asked out, propositioned, etc. by former lovers, friends of friends, people I worked with, etc. just like my Ex had experienced. Even though our relationship was built upon love, respect, honesty, trust, etc. she still was affected and bothered by some of the inappropriate messages / comments that I received. I found myself having discussions and answering questions about people that have long since been gone or forgotten about. Also, some jealously, insecurities, etc. within my Ex surfaced. After a week of that experience, I asked her to delete / disable my Facebook account and have never looked back. She was more than happy and willing to get rid of it and she would be the first to tell you that she didn't like me having one. For her (and most woman I know), security is very, very important to her. She felt me having Facebook opened myself, put me "in harms way" and I would have to deal with temptations that I otherwise wouldn't have too if I were not on Facebook. Not to mention, some of these women and their messages / comments showed little or no respect for her, me or our relationship. If you ask me... Facebook is same equivalent as drinking, gambling, drugs, porn, owning a gun, flirting, food, video games, shopping, etc. all of which can be fun and enjoyable if done responsibly and in moderation. From what I have seen, heard with family, friends, co-workers and from what I have read in the dating, break up, marriage, divorce, other man / women forums... a large majority of people do not have / posses the maturity, character, morals, values, class, integrity, personality, ability, etc. to use Facebook for it's intended purpose in a healthy and constructive manner. For some people it brings out the worst in them, they take it to an extreme, they use it as a tool / weapon to hurt themselves or others. For some, the lines between real life and their life on the Internet become blurred. For some, real life is disrupted and affected negatively by it. Some people use it to ruin relationships with friends, BF / GF, spouses and families. And yes... some people can and do become addicted to it. Edited May 23, 2012 by gibson
Svet74 Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 Lol my ex does not have Facebook and he is not a real man 1
Art_Critic Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 (edited) By the way...I've never been hit on by anybody on FB... Like anything in life there are good things and bad things that come with your actions. You can buy a new Corvette and get hit on too... does that mean you shouldn't buy that Corvette ? no.. you simply take responsibility for your own actions and let the other people own their actions. You are responsible for what you do and say and they are responsible for how they react to it. On a side note... After reading your last post it seems you are wound a bit tight.. you should learn to have more fun and not take life so seriously. Edited May 24, 2012 by Art_Critic 1
gibson Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 (edited) By the way...I've never been hit on by anybody on FB... Congrats! Does that mean it doesn't happen? Because my experience, those of my friends, family and co-workers are not all like yours. I bet I could probably link 1,000+ posts from LS alone where FB was the vehicle used for a person who decided to cheat on their BF / GF, partner or spouse. It was 1 in 5 and now it's 1 in 3 divorces where Facebook is sited in the divorce fillings. Like anything in life there are good things and bad things that come with your actions. That's strange... I said something just like that in my post which you are responding too. I think Facebook can be a very helpful and useful tool to stay connected with family, friends, etc. However, like most anything in life... People's Facebook experience will sink down to the lowest common denominator. It's who they are, the people and "friends" they choose to share that experience with, etc. that determines that. You can buy a new Corvette and get hit on too... does that mean you shouldn't buy that Corvette ? no.. Even stranger you would say this considering I said the following: If you ask me... Facebook is same equivalent as drinking, gambling, drugs, porn, owning a gun, flirting, food, video games, shopping, etc. all of which can be fun and enjoyable if done responsibly and in moderation. you simply take responsibility for your own actions and let the other people own their actions. You are responsible for what you do and say and they are responsible for how they react to it. Wow... For someone who is disagreeing with me you sure do seem to be agreeing with a lot of what I wrote. Maybe you should re-read my last post again. On a side note... After reading your last post it seems you are wound a bit tight.. you should learn to have more fun and not take life so seriously. After reading your last post it seems that you might be one those hardened Facebook types where it's all rainbows, butterflies, that you have a perfect life and you are always happy. Maybe that why you are unable, unwilling or incapable of acknowledging the fact that a large majority of the 900+ million users who use it are teenagers and kids in the early to mid twenties or <GASP> admit that bad people and cheaters might be drawn to FB with the sole purpose of exploiting and twisting it for their evil purposes. Knowing that, if you think these "kids" have the same maturity, life experience, wisdom, knowledge, ethics, integrity, abilities, morals, values, character, personal accountability, class, personality that you do at your age or if you think bad people and cheaters do not exploit FB for their evil purposes... Then for the love of God, will you please explain to me why they keep asking the same basic questions like the OP did in this thread over and over again? Something tells me that you would not have to do this. While you are at it, please explain to me why a large majority of the dumpers and dumpees on here choose to use FB as "blunt instrument" with the sole intent and purpose to hurt the other person? What little I do know of you, I know you are not capable of doing this. Edited May 24, 2012 by gibson
MissBrunette84 Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 I love my life without facebook, I have lost no friends or lost out on any social events as you know, I use the old fashioned phone. I also hate knowing everything about peoples personal problems/life and I don't like to give too much away about myself either. I don't miss it one single bit to be honest.
Art_Critic Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 (edited) Congrats! Does that mean it doesn't happen? Because my experience, those of my friends, family and co-workers are not all like yours. I bet I could probably link 1,000+ posts from LS alone where FB was the vehicle used for a person who decided to cheat on their BF / GF, partner or spouse. It was 1 in 5 and now it's 1 in 3 divorces where Facebook is sited in the divorce fillings. That's strange... I said something just like that in my post which you are responding too. You can buy a new Corvette and get hit on too... does that mean you shouldn't buy that Corvette ? no.. Even stranger you would say this considering I said the following: Wow... For someone who is disagreeing with me you sure do seem to be agreeing with a lot of what I wrote. Maybe you should re-read my last post again. After reading your last post it seems that you might be one those hardened Facebook types where it's all rainbows, butterflies, that you have a perfect life and you are always happy. Maybe that why you are unable, unwilling or incapable of acknowledging the fact that a large majority of the 900+ million users who use it are teenagers and kids in the early to mid twenties or <GASP> admit that bad people and cheaters might be drawn to FB with the sole purpose of exploiting and twisting it for their evil purposes. Knowing that, if you think these "kids" have the same maturity, life experience, wisdom, knowledge, ethics, integrity, abilities, morals, values, character, personal accountability, class, personality that you do at your age or if you think bad people and cheaters do not exploit FB for their evil purposes... Then for the love of God, will you please explain to me why they keep asking the same basic questions like the OP did in this thread over and over again? Something tells me that you would not have to do this. While you are at it, please explain to me why a large majority of the dumpers and dumpees on here choose to use FB as "blunt instrument" with the sole intent and purpose to hurt the other person? What little I do know of you, I know you are not capable of doing this. Thanks for proving my point.. dude... and for being a hardened FB type..hahahaha.. you haven't a clue who I am... I happen to love FB because it allows me to get some pictures of my little boy to family and friends and hear their comments on them and comment on theirs.. I am someone however that understands the internet.. as someone who has been on it since before browsers and using a shell I do get where you are coming from but just feel it doesn't hold water... and you are the one who said than a real man doesn't FB and people should just delete their FB profiles.. I've got news for you Gibson.. I'm a real man.. Edited May 24, 2012 by Art_Critic
relationship-pro Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 She knows you are on Facebook so she is probably flirting with all of your friends because she knows you'll see it. She is obviously trying to make you jealous and hurt you. By allowing her to get into your head, you are letting her win. Block her and don't fall prey to her manipulative games.
shayla Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 Facebook is what killed my relationship. My ex had a page, trolled around and found friends of friends, started hitting on them, the rest is history. I used Facebook because I wanted to keep in touch with my family while planning our family reunion....it turned out that my father died 3 months before the reunion, so I thank Facebook for being there so that I could keep them informed about his condition, his decline, and ultimately his passing. I guess like anything else, it can be the best thing ever, or it can be hell on earth, it was actually both for me.
Tree_Salmon Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 Facebook is what killed my relationship. My ex had a page, trolled around and found friends of friends, started hitting on them, the rest is history. I used Facebook because I wanted to keep in touch with my family while planning our family reunion....it turned out that my father died 3 months before the reunion, so I thank Facebook for being there so that I could keep them informed about his condition, his decline, and ultimately his passing. I guess like anything else, it can be the best thing ever, or it can be hell on earth, it was actually both for me. Well, although Facebook is a big factor for messing up the way people interact, i don't think you can blame the internet for someones lack of integrity. Some people are just piles of crap. 1
Dark Phoenix Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 (edited) Big picture... 2 month relationship... really? You're 32 posting about an ex of a 2 month relationship liking stuff on facebook Anyone else see a problem with this? Lets blame everything else, social media, etc, EXCEPT ourselves She's evil because she didnt want to date you anymore...LOL I dont blame her if you question her liking stuff on facebook Edited May 24, 2012 by Dark Phoenix 1
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