Eddie Edirol Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 Disagree again. Some people have difficulty in letting people down and therefore politely give an excuse as to why they can't be contacted/have time to talk, etc. Difficulty in letting people down, is called cowardice, because they dont want to face a possible confrontation. Its easier to lie to them rather than fight with some people about why they arnt liked. But instead of finding an adult way to tell them they arent interested, they practicing weaseling their way out of the situation, because its easier than dealing with the awkward feelings. Cowards are beyond contempt.
Radu Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 Well that means she is slightly retarded when she could have ignored me and blocked me. Then she would have been 'mean' and she needs to see herself as good, nice, pleasent.
Mme. Chaucer Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 Difficulty in letting people down, is called cowardice, because they dont want to face a possible confrontation. Its easier to lie to them rather than fight with some people about why they arnt liked. But instead of finding an adult way to tell them they arent interested, they practicing weaseling their way out of the situation, because its easier than dealing with the awkward feelings. Cowards are beyond contempt. Maybe, but I really don't think we have enough information about this person to label her a contempt worthy coward. Why, OP, do you have to start a new thread about every dealing with every woman that does not go the way you want it to go - which usually includes calling the woman "retarded"? You don't even know these people. They are a non-issue in your life. You tried, it didn't work the way you want / need it to, MOVE ON. Knowing you, there will be a dozen more next week. 1
mtber75 Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 Well that means she is slightly retarded when she could have ignored me and blocked me. She's probably leaving her options open or have a jealous guy to deal with over the weekend? So I say give her the benefit of the doubt and wait after the weekend. Better yet give her YOUR number so to relieve pressure off her. Good Luck!
Eddie Edirol Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 Maybe, but I really don't think we have enough information about this person to label her a contempt worthy coward. well its 50/50 with me. Because if she is talking about June 15th, she sounds like a teacher. If she is dealing with final exams and such, its a legit explanation. Then he'd have a chance. But since PD is too pushy in general, I'll just put a blanket coward statement over it, and say he pushed her to rejecting him, but in the way to avoid confrontation, or hateful emails. Not like he'd do that, but I'm sure she's gotten a few of those.
manup Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 after we exchanged 9 messages "it maybe kind of tough for me to talk on the phone the next couple of weeks because I'm finishing up work right now and working later days. After memorial day I should have some time. Maybe we can figure out something then if that works for you. I only work 10 months a year and the drawback is you have to fit everything into those 10 months and my last day is June 15th" So she has time to send messages but not talk on the phone? LOL Never ask younger women for their number on OKC. If you do you need way more than 9 messages.
zengirl Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 IME: Writing a message (even a long one) takes maybe 15 minutes tops and can be done while doing other things. A phone conversation typically takes much longer. I always refused to speak to someone on the phone before meeting them --- I did text with them --- when doing OLD, and it worked for me. Everyone develops their own boundaries. She may just be blowing you off, she may be seeing others, who knows. It was a very specific excuse, so she may just be busy -- certainly seems possible to me. I can easily be too busy for a phone call but not to write an email -- they take different levels of my attention and different levels of commitment and time.
RiverRunning Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 Nine messages - in how long of a span of time? Is this a day or two, a few days? I wouldn't feel comfortable handing out my number that early on either. I generally only want to chat with someone for the first few weeks, maybe month. Then I'll agree to a meet-up over lunch. THEN I will give the guy my phone number. That may seem backwards, but the less relevant information he has about me from the get-go, the better. Until I know if he's a loon or not, it's nice that I can just block him on a dating site (or start a new account with a few clicks) or just never see him again. With my phone number, he can do a lot of damage early on if things don't go according to plan. But, that's me. I have had guys ask me for my phone number as soon as 3 - 4 messages in, and I think that's too soon, IMO. I just tell them, though, that I'm not comfortable handing it out so early, but if things go well, I will SOON talk to them on the phone. Same with going out for lunch. Her excuse is a little flimsy. She's either trying to protect you (because she doesn't want to give you her number yet) while she gets to know you better, or she's just not that into you. 1
shorty7 Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 Not to be prude or anything, but if the guy's saying, "hey, maybe we can chat on the phone sometime," I'd expect him to give me HIS number first. I'm one of those "I don't give out my name on the phone unless the caller identifies his/herself first" type people, so I might just be a little old fashioned. But yeah, June-15th and the whole 10-month thing definitely sounds like she's a teacher. Maybe she plans on doing something for the summer (like going home to her hometown/city/state/country) that she knows a physical meet-up would be impossible. Just give her your number. If she's interested, she'll call.
Million.to.1 Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 I think PD is completely jumping the gun. Why do you assume she is lying? Best thing you can do is reply to the message saying... " Ok, wow.. sounds intense!..Well here is my number. 0222222222. Why don't you just call or txt me when you are finished up with your busy period, and we can see where we are both at then. Oh, BTW.. i never caught your name.. mine is Dude. Don't work too hard. " Then the ball is in her court... and you aren't assuming she is lying and potentially missing out on a great girl with a legitimate reason. TBH... i work in the film industry sometimes, and work can be INTENSE!! really long days 15-16 hours.... and it just takes up so much of your head space and is so involved that sometimes outside things like dating or even friends has to take the back burner for a few weeks. People with 9-5 jobs spometimes don't understand this... She explained this without giving too much personal info away and i think you should give her the benefit of the doubt. You are hard work!! Your expectations for how everyone should be/ do /say / act are off the chart. Relax!!! 1
Art_Critic Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 Tell her you only date 10 months a year and the end of the 10 months is june15th 2
Author PhillyDude Posted May 23, 2012 Author Posted May 23, 2012 well its 50/50 with me. Because if she is talking about June 15th, she sounds like a teacher. If she is dealing with final exams and such, its a legit explanation. Then he'd have a chance. But since PD is too pushy in general, I'll just put a blanket coward statement over it, and say he pushed her to rejecting him, but in the way to avoid confrontation, or hateful emails. Not like he'd do that, but I'm sure she's gotten a few of those. That's not going to stop her from getting a hateful email because she wasted my time. She will get something wild tonight
Author PhillyDude Posted May 23, 2012 Author Posted May 23, 2012 Never ask younger women for their number on OKC. If you do you need way more than 9 messages. Why do I need more than 9 messages? I think that is enough especially if they are long messages
Author PhillyDude Posted May 23, 2012 Author Posted May 23, 2012 Nine messages - in how long of a span of time? Is this a day or two, a few days? I wouldn't feel comfortable handing out my number that early on either. I generally only want to chat with someone for the first few weeks, maybe month. Then I'll agree to a meet-up over lunch. THEN I will give the guy my phone number. That may seem backwards, but the less relevant information he has about me from the get-go, the better. Until I know if he's a loon or not, it's nice that I can just block him on a dating site (or start a new account with a few clicks) or just never see him again. With my phone number, he can do a lot of damage early on if things don't go according to plan. But, that's me. I have had guys ask me for my phone number as soon as 3 - 4 messages in, and I think that's too soon, IMO. I just tell them, though, that I'm not comfortable handing it out so early, but if things go well, I will SOON talk to them on the phone. Same with going out for lunch. Her excuse is a little flimsy. She's either trying to protect you (because she doesn't want to give you her number yet) while she gets to know you better, or she's just not that into you. That's sounds retarded because there is a such thing as CALL BLOCK if she feels he is a weirdo. Even I have call block
crazylove Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 Telling a falsehood with the intention to deceive is a lie. That's not an opinion. That's a fact. You're making out that this 'game playing' has some malice intended. Where's the malice in not being interested and trying to let someone down gently?!
crazylove Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 You only messaged each other 9 times?! Me too, there's no way i'd give my number to a stranger after only 9 messages. There's your reason right there.
oaks Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 That's not going to stop her from getting a hateful email because she wasted my time. She will get something wild tonight Just let it go. She's not really interested, and she's not worth your time. You win by not ever contacting her again unless she contacts you to ask for a date (which seems unlikely, but not impossible). 1
zengirl Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 That's not going to stop her from getting a hateful email because she wasted my time. She will get something wild tonight A good call on not giving you her number then! Much easier to block someone who sends a hateful message from an OLD site than from your phone!
d'Arthez Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 A good call on not giving you her number then! Much easier to block someone who sends a hateful message from an OLD site than from your phone! Considering OP referred to a female doctor as having a "magical hole", the fact he engages in transactional sex and supposedly forgets about STDs, I am not sure why he even thinks he has a chance to begin with.
sid3 Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 That's not going to stop her from getting a hateful email because she wasted my time. She will get something wild tonight You should try and work on your anger issues and explore the reason(s) why you've failed to grow up. Instead of lashing out at women to make yourself feel better, why not work on not being such a douchebag. I think you'd find yourself much happy and dating more successfully. Just my opinion.
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