EbbsNFlows Posted May 22, 2012 Posted May 22, 2012 Hello everyone. My ex broke up with me suddenly 10 days ago, after 9 months together. We had almost broken up before. Always after we had spent some time apart and she hadn't heard from me. And I mean after only one day, or at least once, a matter of hours. Some background: She is divorced and has 2 young kids. Her ex had major issues and is a continuous source of frustration and trouble in her life. She has admitted to me that she struggles with self-esteem and abandonment issues. To her credit, she is getting help for all of this. But she has also admitted it sometimes got in the way of the relationship. We also work at the same company. We spent a fantastic weekend together (or I thought so, anyway). Then she went away on business for a week. During that time, we talked on the phone twice, and via e-mail and text several times each day. I was supportive. I was encouraging. I told her I missed her. I told her I loved her. On her last day away, I told her I was looking forward to seeing her. She said she was looking forward to seeing me too. She was getting her kids her first day back, so we didn't make any firm plans. She was scheduled to arrive home in the wee hours of the morning. The next afternoon, she called me, angry, and said she never wanted to see me again. I'm still trying to figure out what happened, as I thought we were addressing the concerns she had. All I know is that when she got home, there was a plumbing problem in the kitchen. She tried reaching me at 2 a.m., but couldn’t. She called her ex, and apparently this is one of the times he came through. She said she's not seeing anyone else. She said it's not about her ex (though she has admitted in the past she isn't quite over him). She said that you have to learn from a relationship and then move on, even if she has to be alone. Days later, I sent an e-mail saying I respected her decision and wished her nothing but the best. She replied she'd miss me, and had hoped I'd build a relationship with her kids. But she felt I wasn't putting as much into the relationship as she was (same thing she had said before). The next week, I sent an e-mail, how are you, etc. She gave short answers. I asked if we could meet for coffee. She said she didn't think that was a good idea, and that she didn't want to talk about us anymore. I resolved to go into full NC mode. But she is not making it easy. A couple of days after that e-mail exchange, she left a bag at my door. It was a shirt I had asked her to return. There was a note. "Sorry I had this so long. Have a great weekend!" I was surprised at how casual it was, as if nothing had happened. Monday, I brought in some things she had given me that I no longer wanted. I put them on a table here at work where people can give away stuff they no longer want or need. Don't know if she saw them or not. We had no contact that day. Today, she walked over to my desk. She gave me a picture drawn by her daughter. Not much conversation, she just gave it to me and said her daughter made it for me. I sent her a very short, to the point e-mail, asking her to thank her daughter. "I will!" she responded. That was it for contact. She doesn't want to see me anymore. She doesn't want to talk. That hurts, but OK I get it. So what's with the friendly note? And why bring me this picture if she wants me out of her life? I have no hopes or expectations of getting her back. She seems to have flipped a switch and moved on, with no muss, no fuss. It's not that simple for me, and I intend to maintain NC. But like I said, she's not making it easy. What do you think she wants from me?
g450 Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 Well you only put in nine months. No big loss. Most likeley it's the ex again or it could be somebody new. Either way who cares. Trust me on this, you dont want to deal with a woman who is still playing games with her ex. Ask me how I know. Leave her be. There is nothing to figure out on your end. She is the one that is damaged. Find a girl that is drama free.
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